Long Distance Stress

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Sometimes being across the ocean from family is a blessing and other times it's a curse. This is the latter. My stepdad was life-flighted from Salmon Idaho to Idaho Falls after breaking 3 ribs and bleeding internally. Ugh. Now, sounds simple, but no. My stepdad is an alcoholic, with hepitis C, CPOD (thats the lung thing right?) and basically a mess. He is in surgery now....went in with a BA level of .6...and as he's been an alcoholic for decades there is a chance he will go through DT's which can kill a relatively healthy person on the best of days. *sigh* It's not him I'm worried about.

My mother does in home elderly care and both of her clients died between Oct-Dec so has no income. My little sister who is with her, is even poorer. So I have done what I could do. I rang up the Idaho Falls Motel 6 and explained everything to the woman there. Idaho is a different place. It's very....old school. People take you at your word and will go out of the way to help when ever they can. So, I have them a place to stay as I found on fb they were going to sleep in the waiting room. I've tried to get them a walmart gift card but walmart are being twats. I have used my paypal to spend over $500 in the past couple of years but all of the sudden $65.00 looks dodgy. ugh. I'm just so stressed.

All I need from you lot is thoughts, swinging critters and prayers for my mom. If my stepdad makes it though all of this it is only because he is a stubborn old codger! I hate being so far away during crisis as I was always the one who fixed everything and found a way to help everyone....and I can't do that as well with so much distance between us.

I have a headache.

 

[southernlady]

Swinging critters for your stepday and mom...and for you!

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Thanks I'm your stereotypical oldest child of a dysfunctional family. I have to fix everything and ensure peace within the ranks or I feel all out of sorts and stressed. I have a headache, my rocking has increased...on a stationary sofa....and my head hunger is out of this world. I need to fix things!!!! ugh. Thank you for the critter swingin!

 

[Sandy]

Sorry you are having to go through this, and from so far away. Swinging critters from over this way.

 

[ProteinSnob]

Maybe all of this will force them to gather up some resources around them and they'll lean on you a little less That's a good thing. Those new resources might start holding your family members accountable for their decisions too, in a way you can't really do as a family member. It's great that they have you to care about them. That's more than many people have. I'm sorry for your stress, and right before your surgery too.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Some of it is my fault. If I didn't help when they needed it most I wouldn't be able to handle the guilt. My family has always been below the poverty line, like way below....and I married way up and feel a mix of luck and guilt because of that. Im far from rich or wealthy but since the 7 years I have been married I have never been late on a single bill.....and coming from a "rob peter to pay paul" family it's a bit of a learning curve.

 

[newanatomy]

I live in Idaho Falls. Is there something I can do?

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I've messaged you... So short answer is maybe lol thank you

 

[JackieOnLine]

OMG so sorry to hear about this - and I will pray for you and your whole family since my dogs hate being swung.

good for you for "marrying up" and becoming someone who is financially responsible.

it's all one thing, isn't it? eating and spending and dealing with the **** that happens.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

It's not that my family. Isn't responsible but you can't get blood from a turn up. I know people think poorness is a choice but both my parents worked full time (at low wages of course) and if it wasn't for the Mormon church and their welfare system we would have gone very hungry and possibly homeless. I grew up in a two bedroom house with 3 siblings. When I say poor I mean poor so I feel it is my duty to help when I can. I don't let people abuse me and no one ever asks for money. I just help whenever I am able.

Sorry if that was a bit ranty but people can't understand true poverty unless they have lived it and it doesn't have much to do with laziness or responsibility. That and I just got word my stepdad only has a couple if hours.

 

[cajungirl]

Sorry to read this keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Yup, Idaho Falls is old school. I was an ambulance transport out of Yellowstone to EIRMC in
Idaho Falls. My husband spent the night at Yellowstone and came to town early the next morning.

But that night, I was discharged from the hospital with no money, no credit cards, no SWEATER...and nowhere to go. They gave me meal chits at the hospital (call social services and see if the have any for your mom) and even let me sleep in an empty room in the chemo area, which was vacant at night. They did other kind things as well.

So contact the hospital social services...Eastern Idaho Regional?... and ask for help. They are accustomed to dealing with stranded, unprepared people.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Yup, Idaho Falls is old school. I was an ambulance transport out of Yellowstone to EIRMC in
Idaho Falls. My husband spent the night at Yellowstone and came to town early the next morning.

But that night, I was discharged from the hospital with no money, no credit cards, no SWEATER...and nowhere to go. They gave me meal chits at the hospital (call social services and see if the have any for your mom) and even let me sleep in an empty room in the chemo area, which was vacant at night. They did other kind things as well.

So contact the hospital social services...Eastern Idaho Regional?... and ask for help. They are accustomed to dealing with stranded, unprepared people.

Great advice thank you!!! Pulling my hair put as I don't know what to do, I'm a million miles away and can't afford to go home so from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

 

[JackieOnLine]

so sorry to hear about you Step Dad :085:

also, I apologize writing like your family chose to be poor - I wasn't thinking. :086:

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

so sorry to hear about you Step Dad :085:

also, I apologize writing like your family chose to be poor - I wasn't thinking. :086:

no no. I wasn't offended....I just realise some people don't get it...like at all lol. And I only realise this NOW because I'm not destitute anymore. I've seen both sides so no worries. People have no idea of the depths I've been to unless they know me really well, or I write about it (like here)...or stalk me online lol

My friends and family used to joke that I was the fat cinderella lol. And my prince is amazing