Kids and healthy eating habits

[brooklyngirl]

So, this question/discussion is meant for parents talking from experience with their kids, people with experience from their own parents as well as general theory. Let's talk about imparting healthy relationships with food onto kids.

This has been on my mind and a topic of discussion between myself and my husband as we're preparing to try starting a family soon, and I have some really effed up food issues, some I believe were passed along from my grandmother to my father to my siblings and I, some I believe came from my parents' desperate attempt to thwart passing us their food issues, and then inadvertently, creating different ones related to feeling deprived of the "good stuff". It's also been a topic of conversation with some girlfriends who are pregnant and a couple who have young kids and are struggling to find the balance.

So what's your take/opinion? How do you teach kids to eat a variety of healthy foods and not overindulge in junk, without making them feel deprived and crave the junk?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

By NOT buying into the kids-don't-like-veggies stories and similar stuff. And we had a garden. If you get them into a garden young enough, all you have to teach them is to rinse stuff off before sticking it in their mouths! I still have photos of her little self, covered in mud chewing on a tomato she had just liberated from a vine, with no adult intervention.

When she was four or five and spending the night at a friends, I had a very concerned mother of a friend on the phone asking if it was NORMAL for a child to say things like, "may I please have more green beans and one more slice of tomatoes, too?"

Of course, that mom also went screaming down the hall at night to save her children if there was thunder. My response was, "uhm...yeah...it's weather...chances are very good it won't matter to us at all...go back to bed"

So, to me, it's a matter of establishing expectations. We did not teach our child that she was expected to dislike certain categories of food. And we expected that healthy food tasted good.


ETA...We also DID NOT teacher her that boys were good at math and girls were not. That "Here's an excuse to be a failure" shit drives me nuts.

 

[brooklyngirl]

@Spiky Bugger I totally agree about not making veggies a weird thing for kids, that what my parents did. My siblings and I apparently had very odd tastes for kids compared to our friends. My mother cooked SUPER healthy, well balanced meals, I love fruits and vegetables, yet I still turned out to be morbidly-super morbidly obese my whole life. My parents pushed the healthy stuff so much that I rebelled against it and would binge on junk when I got my hands on it, for as long back as I can remember, first memory of it was about 4 years old.

 

[newanatomy]

I have a niece who is a registered dietitian, I know gasp, but she is very sweet. I watch her with her kids, nothing is off limits but nutrition is first and sweets of any kind (even sweet cereal) are called candy and are treated as such, thereby limited to a small amount.

 

[brooklyngirl]

That sounds like a smart approach

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Gardening and foraging were an integral part of summer growing up. I hated it then, but some of it rubbed off after all . If you can make it fun instead of being a nagging, negative bitch like my mom was, gardening with kids can be a tremendous joy. There's something magical about eating the fruits of your own labors.

 

[brooklyngirl]

I'm actually really excited about being able to grow fruits and veggies, never was much of an option in NYC aside from some pots with herbs. Hopefully little ones would be as stoked as hubby and I are

 

[Jbandmmomma]

Wow. This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I battled being overweight since I was ~9 years old. I vowed to do every thing in my power to try and ensure my kids did not have that battle. Chose to breastfeed all three as long as possible, made sure that foods represented healthy choices and a variety of flavors (when they started eating solids), and have always found ways to help them be physically active.

the reality is not as I dreamed...

From my experience as a mother of 3 under age 8, you can do everything "by the book" and still have kids with food issues. We have one kid who flat-out refuses to try anything out of his comfort zone and hates veggies. On the other end of the spectrum, our almost 3 year old loves salad and eats most anything I put in front of her (different meats, steak, grilled chicken, pulled pork, veggies, lots of fruits). Our middle kid is somewhat food adventurous and is learning that it's best to eat a balance of healthy choices, and special treats are exactly that. Our oldest kid thinks carbs are king and we fight a never-ending battle to keep him from taking and hoarding food (always low nutritional value stuff if he can find any). Latest example was 10 granola bars eaten in one night. He has shown signs of obsessive behavior with food and we are working with his team to try and make sure this does not become a lifelong battle for him.

So, at the moment, the easiest solution for me has been to just not have junk food in the house. Even when I get healthy snackfoods, the boy eats them all and there is none left for the other people. For now, I try to keep apples and other fresh fruit on hand, which they will all 3 eat, in addition to yogurt and cheese. These seem to be working for us/them.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Wow, Becky. What you described- the doing all the "right things" and food issues still happening- is what happened with my parents and myself and what I'm afraid of passing on to the next generation. I'm thinking (like with most other things) the more I stress about it, the worse of a situation I'll create. Hope your solution continues to work, not keeping junk in the house works best for me now!

 

[Jbandmmomma]

Thanks. It's been a learning experience for sure. I'm trying to consciously teach them that food is fuel, and there are plenty of choices. The boy has other issues (ADHD, anxiety disorder) that we think are driving the bus on this behavior, so we are trying to be patient and work through it with him. It just breaks my heart to see as my one prayer has always been that they not have to battle obesity. To help balance it out, we are encouraging him to do as much physical activity as possible and trying to find a sport that is a good fit for him.

At the end of the day, you do what you can and let go of the other stuff. It ain't easy, but the rewards are also incredible!

 

[brooklyngirl]

Yup, anxiety is my biggest trigger for compulsive eating. I'm trying to work on it in therapy, but I wish I started years and years ago!

 

[Munchkin]

I got my first diet when I was 6 weeks old. The doc told my mom to replace one of my breastfeedings with a bottle of water. I was fat before I ever made a single food choice. Genetics are genetics. I was programmed to be fat from the get go. Some people are born superabsorbers and there's nothing you can do about it. My mom was also determined to do everything right. My snacks were raw veggies when all the other kids got twinkies, candy and ice cream. Desserts were few and far between and served on tiny dishes. I knew the meaning of the word obese at 2 years old. She would take my Halloween, Christmas, and Easter candy because I was too fat. So I learned to hide it. And sneak food whenever there was anything 'good' to be had. When Metrecal came out I was first in line for the liquid diet. I could tell you fat and calorie content of many common foods before I went to kindergarten.

We lived in an area so rural there was no place to go to buy food, snacks, etc. We very seldom ate out. I had my first pizza at the age of 12. Here's something to think about. If your kid is fat and you know they have limited access to food other than what you give them, you have 2 choices.
1) You are feeding them improperly.
2) Chances are there is little that can be done and they will be heavy.

I know several people who made smart choices about kids and food. The very best one was no fruit of any kind in their diet till they were eating and liking veggies. No juice either. Water and milk. That's it. We all love sugar and anything that's sweet. If you introduce nothing sweet, then the kid grows up loving veggies. When it was time to introduce fruits, they ate fruit, no juice. And they got fruit after eating their veggies. These kids grew up thinking fruit was dessert and things like candy/junk food were treats and eaten in very small quantities. If you ask these kids what they want to eat there's better than a 50/50 chance they will ask for broccoli over a Happy Meal! And they are now 12 and 9. Their mom made good use of the time before they made their own food choices. After all, what is juice? Mostly sugar and empty calories. It has very little redeeming value.

And forget about all the picky eater nonsense. These kids eat everything!

 

[brooklyngirl]

@Munchkin it sounds like you had a painful childhood, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Mine wasn't as extreme, but I was overweight since I was very young, I believe that was genetics, and my parents trying to avoid it by restricting food (especially junk) led me to secret eating and food hoarding. It always makes me think of Oedipus Rex