I've ruined my life.

[Sheanie]

"You can drag a horticulture but you can't make her think." THAT is JillC's tag line? I'm obtuse. I never saw that before now.

Dawn, I wish I were close, I'd be there holding your hand. I get suicidal after most surgeries from pain meds (narcotics). I empathize with how awful things look to you right now. Remember: IT'S TEMPORARY. Every day will be one more day closer to recovery. Right now you can't see it. But the sun really IS shining.

 

[DianaCox]

You need Shirley MacLaine watching over you:

 

[Barb1]

I hope tomorrow is a better day Dawn! Get some anxiety drugs! You will be able to cope so much better! Send a private message to someone you'd like to talk to with your phone number. (((((((HUGS)))))))

 

[Terri]

Really don't have much to add, most everything has been said so I am sending a big

 

[kirmy]

Babe...I thought I'd stroked after my surgery, no short term memory, couldn't read and write, poor balance and fatigue. I also tried to bleed to death. You know what I did? I chilled the Fuck out. Nothing I repeat nothing I could do would make my situation any better so I pottered along doing what I could do. I set small milestones and met them, I complained to my surgeon, I threatened to murder shit nurses. I in short let go of the shit I had no control over and took charge of the shit I could.

So you've been septic, you'll get better\are getting better. Park the hysteria bus on that. Chuck it in the Fuck it bucket. Now you've had a collapsed lung. That shit is gonna reinstate. Move move mutherfucking move lady. Sitting on your arse won't help.

You've got pain? Take those bastards by the short and curlies and get yourself on a morphine infusion patient controlled analgesia and walk.

This is your battle. If you need more support reach out to friends and family. You're not dying, you wish you were dead at times no doubt but you're going to get through.

Two fingers up to the world...this bitch be hard to kill. go girl I got your back...and your backless gown. X

 

[JackieOnLine]

Chuck it in the Fuck it bucket.

*like*

 

[Dawn]

How far away are your family, Dawn? Things will get better ((hugs)), it's just really hard to believe that when you get knocked down again and again.

They are about almost 2 hrs. Yes I'm very tired of starting to feel better only to have something else happen.

 

[southernlady]

They are about almost 2 hrs. Yes I'm very tired of starting to feel better only to have something else happen.

Dawn, where are you located (doesn't have to be specific)...maybe someone is closer who can come see you. I know you want family but we can also be family if you need us.

 

[Dawn]

it's OK to tell them - I need more support, please come here. or, I would be willing to do that for you. PM me with the phone number and I will call and suggest you need more support than you are getting.

medication for anxiety and/or depression are not a bad idea but please ask for someone to TALK to first. Social Worker, Chaplin, volunteer - tell them you need them ALL. seriously.

one of them will help. people like to help. and in some cases, of course, it's their job.

My husband is trying really hard. He just started a new job and can't take time off. He's also worried they will get a bad opinion of him. By the time he gets home from work at 5 the babies bedtime is 8. So he tries to come up twice a week.

 

[Brandy]

I bet you on top of everything else you bored to tears. And with the drugs and the pain there will only be so much TV you can take. I always get so antsy in hospitals. I have found that guided meditations are about the only thing that really help. In my real life, I'm not a woo woo type. I don't meditate or do yoga or things like that. But at the hospital there comes a time when I will either go inside my mental playground or start to get seriously upset. I find I don't need to believe in what they are saying, it is the journey to see what happens when I try it. Generally I don't watch the screen, but only listen that way it can feel like I've almost left the hospital. Headphones are especially nice to shut that world out.

Here are some links to YouTube videos that look like they might have entertained me for a while but clicking around was half the fun:

• Guided Meditation, Relaxation & Self-Exploration for Genius Brain Power & Hypnotic Trance:

• Guided Meditation Deep Relaxation for Vibrant Health Energy and Emotional Healing:

• AEOLIAH: Activating Your Chakras Through the Light Rays:

• Louise Hay - Self love - Body Healing:

Another way that I passed time in the hospital was playing with Binaural beats. (Wikipedia: auditory processing artifacts, or apparent sounds, caused by specific physical stimuli. ... [The] alternative medicine community [claims] that binaural beats could help induce relaxation, meditation, creativity and other desirable mental states.) Some of them make me feel odd or good or a few I can't turn off fast enough. It is just entertaining enough a game when the hospital and the body make everything else just a bit too much to deal with.

Links to get you started:

• Power Of Gratitude: Attract Abundance & Miracles | Subliminal Meditation Isochronic Binaural:

• Study Aid ~ Alert Focus Isochronic Binaural Beat:

• "Golden Frequency" 1 Hr Binaural Beat Session:

• VERY POWERFUL! ★ Relaxing Nature Sounds ★ Healing Deep Sleep Isochronic Binaural Beat

I don't know if these will help you, but I so know what you are going through and I wanted to try give you a chance at some kind of relief other than to just wait it out.

 

[jillc]

They are about almost 2 hrs. Yes I'm very tired of starting to feel better only to have something else happen.

Hang in there - things are and will keep getting better

 

[brooklyngirl]

I bet you on top of everything else you bored to tears. And with the drugs and the pain there will only be so much TV you can take. I always get so antsy in hospitals. I have found that guided meditations are about the only thing that really help. In my real life, I'm not a woo woo type. I don't meditate or do yoga or things like that. But at the hospital there comes a time when I will either go inside my mental playground or start to get seriously upset. I find I don't need to believe in what they are saying, it is the journey to see what happens when I try it. Generally I don't watch the screen, but only listen that way it can feel like I've almost left the hospital. Headphones are especially nice to shut that world out.

Here are some links to YouTube videos that look like they might have entertained me for a while but clicking around was half the fun:

• Guided Meditation, Relaxation & Self-Exploration for Genius Brain Power & Hypnotic Trance:

• Guided Meditation Deep Relaxation for Vibrant Health Energy and Emotional Healing:

• AEOLIAH: Activating Your Chakras Through the Light Rays:

• Louise Hay - Self love - Body Healing:

Another way that I passed time in the hospital was playing with Binaural beats. (Wikipedia: auditory processing artifacts, or apparent sounds, caused by specific physical stimuli. ... [The] alternative medicine community [claims] that binaural beats could help induce relaxation, meditation, creativity and other desirable mental states.) Some of them make me feel odd or good or a few I can't turn off fast enough. It is just entertaining enough a game when the hospital and the body make everything else just a bit too much to deal with.

Links to get you started:

• Power Of Gratitude: Attract Abundance & Miracles | Subliminal Meditation Isochronic Binaural:

• Study Aid ~ Alert Focus Isochronic Binaural Beat:

• "Golden Frequency" 1 Hr Binaural Beat Session:

• VERY POWERFUL! ★ Relaxing Nature Sounds ★ Healing Deep Sleep Isochronic Binaural Beat

I don't know if these will help you, but I so know what you are going through and I wanted to try give you a chance at some kind of relief other than to just wait it out.

I wish I knew about this pre-op!