Hi everyone, so glad to be here

[DBmom23]

I recently (yesterday) decided to go with the DS over VG and am just waiting for a date in June hopefully for my surgery.

I am so impressed by the combination of knowledge and compassion in these posts. I have already benefitted tremendously and think it will be even more helpful post-op too.

Quick question for y'all, I am not planning to tell people at work that I am having WLS. Haven't quite figured out what I will come up with for why I'm out of work, but it might be family emergency or might admit to gallbladder surgery or something like that. Is this crazy? I work in a very male dominated/macho environment and don't feel comfortable opening up.
I know I will lose a lot of weight quickly--that's certainly the plan--so people may wonder what the hell is going on, but I am a "lightweight" so kind of hoping I can just pass it off as big lifestyle changes, which won't really be a lie, just a half-truth. Again, does this resonate with anyone or am I being naive?

Thank you for your thoughts!

 

[newanatomy]

Congratulations on your decision. Who is your surgeon?

I would go with the gallbladder half-truth then never explain anything again. Also, don't tell a soul at work or it will get around. It really isn't anyone's business anyway. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't told anyone about my wls. Mostly though, I guess I don't mind them knowing. I am simply ready for the news to die down a bit. I don't want my weight to be a topic at every gathering.

 

[southernlady]

While what you tell or not tell people is your business, I always felt that just letting people believe it was all due to diet/exercise feeds into the "but if you only dieted and exercised, you would lose the weight" comments. Just don't tell them anything....it is no ones business but your HR dept as to why you are out. Just say surgery if you must, do not explain. And once the weight does come off...and even on a lightweight, it is obvious, when asked, just say thank you and change the subject. Don't explain you are eating differently.

 

[Larra]

Hi and welcome! Glad to see you here.

@southernlady is right, you don't owe anyone any more information than what you personally are comfortable telling them. There will always be someone who is nosy enough to ask questions that you prefer not to answer. You owe that person nothing, and if they had any shame (trust me, they don't) they would be ashamed for asking intrusive, personal questions. So just make up whatever answer you are comfortable with, or change the subject, or walk away. Whatever works for you.

 

[DBmom23]

This is super helpful. Thank you all. I can see how even one person knowing would lead to everyone knowing and then it would be an endless topic of discussion.
I need to practice being comfortable not over sharing and walking away--this will be good for me!

It seems to me that this may also be just a microcosm of how surgery is going to force me to confront uncomfortable issues internally and with others. I really hope I can rise to the challenge. It feels a bit daunting and exciting at the same time.

Thank you again.

 

[DSRIGGS]

It is personal choice but I am an open book. I tell people my diabetes was out of control and I had the DS to cure that problem and a great side benefit was the weight loss. That is why I had this surgery and is 100% true.

Again it is up to you what you want to share and with whom you choose to share but for me hiding the truth is stressful... For others it is not.

Great decision on the DS and welcome.

 

[duh_Mom]

Hi DBmom - welcome to the group, it is a great place to be and learn. I am pre-op - I am having DS on 6/16 - and am not keeping it a secret. I had a lapland about 6 or 7 years ago and did not tell anyone. (that sucker was a waste of good pain meds)- my personal choice. This time, I have decided to tell folks what I am doing this time around. People can tell I am super morbidly obese just by looking - so I just made the decision this time to not keep secrets. Now all that said, I also believe it is everyone's right to share as much or as little personal info as you are comfortable with. For me, shame has been a big deal and caused me lots of issues, and I am not ashamed of having WLS- and maybe it will help someone else. who knows.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Welcome!!!! Glad you found us.

As far as telling people, say either Gallbladder surgery or intestinal surgery to correct a hereditary problem Neither are a lie, just omission

 

[Barbara]

I'm having revision RNY surgery in July. I told my bosses I was having surgery and would be out 8 weeks. That's it. Let people wonder.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Welcome! As the others said, it's a personal decision, but once I began telling people, I found it to be very freeing. I got way more support than I had imagined and even if I hadn't, just lifting the burden of a secret was awesome. I also don't like to feed the myth of "diet and exercise" being a magic solution and WLS being something to be embarrassed about. It's already out there enough without us contributing to it. Again, you have to do what makes you comfortable, but this is what worked for me.