Hello - - pre-op VSG---back and forth every day

[Kimmy O]

Hello my name is Kim, I live in Hatfield, PA, USA........ I am pre-op considering VSG....I have been back and forth about this life-altering decision so many times, from minute to minute I seem to change my mind. I need to lose 20 pounds before the surgery, and I am really struggling doing that - - especially since it is Christmas time AND my brother died last week.... It has been very rough. But, when I think of having the surgery, I feel a rush of hope - - thinking of being free from the symptoms of obesity, this imprisonment of flesh (I am 377 lbs.) My joints are really aggravating me and I am so embarrassed to be out in public. I have an incredible boyfriend who wants to marry me, but GOSH I don't wanna look like I do now. I feel hideous 95% of the time. I have tried Weight Watchers a million times, was on it when I was 8 years old until now. Tried every diet under the sun it seems. I am afraid of dying on the table, clotting, leakages, PAIN post-surg.....I have an AWESOME surgeon who has done a couple friends of mine who are very happy with their outcome. I keep hearing people say the pain is worth it and they wish they had done it sooner. I hope, if I get it done, I can say the same. Any advice or words of wisdom/encouragement would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for listening.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Hi Kim and welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss, and at this time of year ***hugs****.

At your weight (I started out at 400) and with your dieting history, the only procedure I would consider would be the DS. You would have to travel to get to a DS surgeon, but it would be well worth it.

Take a look at the thread pinned in the main forum titled "Never had surgery, here's what to expect." That will give you a much better sense of what to expect. The discomforts of surgery last for a few weeks. With the right procedure and commitment to living well with your chosen procedure, the benefits are lifelong. It's a very good tradeoff.

 

[JackieOnLine]

hello Kim! there is a lot of info on this site, check out the stickied threads in particular. and glad to see you!

 

[Larra]

Welcome! I am so sorry for your loss.

Given your weight and lifelong struggle to try to lose weight, it sounds like you have metabolic problems that the sleeve alone will not address. I hope you will consider and research the DS. The DS has the best statistics of any bariatric surgery not just for percentage excess weight loss, but also for maintenance of that weight loss and for resolution of almost all comorbidities. It is a standard of care operation for anyone who meets the medical criteria for bariatric surgery, but is especially valuable and most recommended for people with higher bmi's. I'm glad your friends are doing well with their sleeves, but how far post-op are they? and did they suffer from the same metabolic problems you have, and have bmi's similar to yours?? Most people do very well initially with the sleeve, but after a few years the sleeve does stretch out no matter how narrow it is constructed, and with less restriction it becomes much more difficult to maintain that weight loss. There will be some people successful longterm with the sleeve, I believe, but we are already seeing people with sleeves revising to DS (or sadly, to gastric bypass because their surgeons only do gastric bypass and don't even inform them about the DS).
Also, with your joints hurting, it would be best to get as much excess weight off those joints as possible. Whatever damage has already been done can't be undone, but this would minimize further damage.
Having any bariatric surgery is scary. But there is no point in having an operation that isn't going to get you where you want and need to be. In addition to considering the risks of a given operation, you also need to consider the potential benefits, and the potential benefits to you of the DS are much greater than with the sleeve. As far as pain goes, we are all different. I didn't have much pain post-op at all but struggled with fatigue. Your experience may be different, but that's what pain meds are for, right?
The misery of recovery is worth it. YOU are worth it! Fear is normal, just don't let fear stand in the way of a better life.

 

[revisionDS]

Kim I am sorry for the loss of your brother and hope you find some peace with your family and friends. Kim at 377 lbs you have a shortened life expentancy, is it just the pain you are afraid of? If so don't be, if you need pain medications you can get them. I left the hospital with no pain medications, and I have had many abdominal surgeries. Everyone is "afraid" of surgery if you were not, there would be something wrong with you. You can have healthy fear but don't let it cripple you to stay where you are. Surgery now is very different than it was even 15 years ago, lap changed a lot of that, yes you have a chance of all the complications you said, but isn't slowly dieing at 377 lbs worse, your bmi must be around 60, is that living? I don't believe any one surgery is right for all, except RNY I think that is right for no one. I would research DS, I think you would be marvelous up to 24 months after your vsg, then what? with a bmi in that range your best surgical intervention is DS, best long term resolution of comorbs, best at keeping regain to a minimum. Good luck researching all your options.

 

[Whit]

Hi Kim,
I am so sorry for your loss. You have already received great advise I just want to welcome you to our community.
Best,
Whitney

 

[Munchkin]

The VSG most likely won't get you all the way there. You need a DS because you have metabolic issues.

Welcome!

 

[bearmom]

Gosh, when we all keep saying the same DS thing, it sounds like there are sleeve haters here, and I promise that's not the case. I really like the sleeve, but some of the things you say resonate with me and there are things that the DS is really the best fit for. When you mention the early diets, that's red light that you likely are genetically programmed to be fat, and if there are metabolic factors that help make your digestion super efficient, then the DS is easily the best thing to help with that. If actually know you just have issues with volume control and AYCE buffets are your idea of the perfect meal, then the sleeve alone may help, but it does stretch and gain capacity, and then if you are a super absorber, then that may not be enough for you. Genetics and years of diets and disordered behavior honed my metabolism to a super efficient machine, and I knew a sleeve alone, even if I maintained a bird like diet, would not be enough for me.

Of course my trade off is to take a lot more vitamins, daily, for life, and I'm OK with that.

I also had been with a guy who wanted to marry despite my weight, and I just couldn't move forward with a bmi of 49, and wanted to be able to tolerate looking at my wedding pics, and I couldn't face myself that heavy, and also felt it was unfair to him when I knew my life, as far as ability, and length were so limited at that weight. He's younger and was into activities that I just couldn't join in.

I was 5 years post op, when I finally married him, and we recently went on a wonderful trip to Europe as a honeymoon, that would have NEVER been possible at my previous weight. Fitting in airplane seats, walking on tours daily for a month, climbing hills to mountaintop monasteries and castles, and I even skied in the Swiss alps! We have swam with dolphins and rays and in the pics I look fit and happy and LIKE HIS WIFE, not like his fat mom! You deserve to feel good, be healthy, and do the things that make you happy.

 

[Kimmy O]

Wow, thank you ALL for your comments and support, and for the warm welcome!! My dr had originally recommended the DS and he DOES do it - - one of my friends I mentioned did in fact have the DS and is so happy with her results. Bearmom, I especially relate to you as my boyfriend is a lot younger and I often feel like HIS fat mom instead of his sexy girlfriend. I really struggle with that too. I am going to schedule another appt with the surgeon to discuss changing my procedure. I will probably need to lose more weight before. He mentioned it being difficult since I have so much fat around my middle. Gonna check out the threads you all mentioned. Thanks again!!

 

[southernlady]

Hi Kim, so sorry for your loss.

Welcome to the forum!

 

[JackieOnLine]

I was 5 years post op, when I finally married him, and we recently went on a wonderful trip to Europe as a honeymoon, that would have NEVER been possible at my previous weight. Fitting in airplane seats, walking on tours daily for a month, climbing hills to mountaintop monasteries and castles, and I even skied in the Swiss alps! We have swam with dolphins and rays and in the pics I look fit and happy

I love this so I quoted it!

 

[Parousia]

Welcome, Kimmy! So glad you found us .

 

[brooklyngirl]

Sorry to hear of your loss, but welcome, and keep reading! I had never heard of the DS before my surgeon recommended it and I'm so happy he did

 

[more2adore]

Hey Kimmy! Welcome. Who's your surgeon, by the way? The ladies here really know DS surgeons, so they can tell you if yours is highly recommended for the DS or not.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Hi! And welcome!

From an old broad who has been married over 40 years...I think would be a horrid time to get married! Many...maybe most...of your ideas and opinions ("hideous") about yourself will change DRAMATICALLY when you weigh half of what you do now. And with those changed opinions, you will have changed behaviors and attitudes...and this poor man will be married to a stranger!

At 377...with your history...the DS. Only the DS.

But who is this "you need to lose weight before we provide you a procedure for people who can't lose weight" surgeon?

Sue


ETA: people who have "always" been obese and then lose half their body weight don't look too great naked, either...just a warning!