Hello! A bit late to the game…

[Suzie]

Hi all, hope everyone is having a great, relaxing holiday season!

Hey there! I’m Suzie (33F, she/her) and I am in the DC area. Got my TDS on Jan 2, 2024 (~135cm cc) and I’m coming up on my one year anniversary, which is pretty wild. What a year it’s been!

I’m more of a lurker by nature, but I’m coming out of the woodwork to hold myself more accountable in between my check ins with my surgeon and therapist.

My struggle right now is with a bit of a stall for the past couple months hovering around 200-205 lb. My goal is to get to ~180 lb (normal BMI would be 169 lb or lower at 5’9), so I’m pretty close! Yet so sooo far lol.

I think a couple things are contributing…

1. Now that my weight is much lower after losing 110 lbs, my “mistakes” are much more likely to be reflected on the scale unfortunately. Bit of a harsh reality after almost a year of coasting down the scale without issue (while also not being too strict about food choice and carbs). But I do struggle with tracking what I’m eating since I’ve dealt with binge eating disorder and tracking is a trigger for me. So I think perhaps an attempt to count up the protein I’m getting throughout the day instead of trying to limit caloric intake will be my focus. Any other suggestions welcome! I know low carb is the ultimate goal here for the final stretch, but I also do weightlifting and Pilates 6x per week alternating between the 2 activities. So I feel like I’d be limiting myself too much if I go fully low carb.

2. A few months ago I started weightlifting, which I’ve been loving! But I can feel that my body composition has definitely changed even though the scale hasn’t moved too much since starting (lost about 10 lbs since starting at the end of Sept). So while I’m building muscle fairly quickly, seeing my weight stall is frustrating. I can’t help but feel like I’m not getting enough progress with my weight at the 11/12 month mark.

3. I think there’s a bit of a mental “stall” as well, because when looking in the mirror sometimes, I have a hard time with seeing my loose skin because it feels like it’s still holding a lot of fat. And I think that it clouds my judgement on how much progress I’ve made. Loose skin removal surgeries are definitely in the plans in the future. So I’d love to get closer to a point where I feel like I’m ready for the surgeries at a lower weight.

Anyway, figured I’d introduce myself and commiserate in the ever present weight loss struggle. Hope y’all are doing well with your goals! Also Happy New Year’s!

 

[southernlady]

Welcome @Suzie Glad you posted.
A few thoughts: I understand hating to track but maybe tracking for just a week to see where you are may help. It’s not like it’s a long stretch. Oh, and DSers do not focus on calories, malabsorption makes a mockery of that. There are many threads running around here on the subject, search for either calories or DS* Math (you need the * cause this software doesn’t like two letter search words).

I despise tracking due to years of dieting. But last spring I had to for a month cause I was losing and couldn’t figure out why. I needed the information for my PCP. But the minute I finished that month, I ditched the tracker, I tend to keep a running total of carbs for the day in my head from years of insulin use.

Remember, not all weight loss is reflected on the scale. Some is reflected in the tape measure.

Low carb is the ideal but not everyone fits there. Some of us do better at a higher carb level. Just make sure they are worth your time and effort, like good vegetables. Adding more protein while weightlifting will also help. And are you getting enough fat? Do you happen to know your common channel length? If not, get your operative report and if you need help reading it, PM me and I can help you figure it out. You need fat to lose weight. I know it sounds counterintuitive but with the DS, it works. You also need fat for brain health, to avoid dry skin, and to poop.

Anyway, the threads you need are here.

Welcome.
Liz

 

[Suzie]

Hey Liz! Thanks for the thoughtful reply.

My common channel is ~135cm. My surgeon gave me a bit longer cc than he usually does because my starting BMI was about 45 and I didn’t really have any co-morbidities except mild sleep apnea.

As for fat, yes I definitely make sure to pick up all high fat versions of dairy products, I eat Greek yogurt nearly everyday and drink high protein whole milk. But I will say I’m not making a conscious effort to add additional fat to my meals because I’m trying to squeeze in enough protein and I don’t want to get too full from fat. But I think I will start playing around with adding more fat in my meals and see how that goes. And maybe I can add in more fat at non-mealtimes by drinking more whole milk throughout the day.

And yes I think I would benefit from tracking for a limited time and just remind myself that the score doesn’t even matter because of the malabsorption.

I’m getting labs done in a few weeks, so I’ll see how that factors in as well to check my protein levels.

 

[southernlady]

And yes I think I would benefit from tracking for a limited time and just remind myself that the score doesn’t even matter because of the malabsorption.

It’s not like you have to track for long, just long enough to get a feel of how you do in a week.

BTW, my common channel is 175 cause I was a true lightweight, my starting BMI was 35.2 with only 68 excess lbs.

Add an extra 10 grams of fat about every 2-3 days. See how your bowels react.

 

[JackieOnLine]

Hi Suzie, good to see you here!

 

[hilary1617]

Hi and welcome!

 

[Suzie]

Thank you for the warm welcomes! @JackieOnLine @hilary1617

Good call, I’ll give that a try. @southernlady

 

[JackieOnLine]

I’ve dealt with binge eating disorder and tracking is a trigger for me.

I have had Binge Eating Disorder since at least 11 years old (currently 63) and it's a different beast than when some people do well with a "buckle down" or "get tough" mentality.

you really have to know what makes your brain triggered with that fear that there will not be enough (because of dieting, or whatever). you learn what works for you and ignore anyone who says differently.

I over came the BED at least twice so far, the second time after my VSG surgery. now, since the pandemic, it's been back.
I am dealing with it, and myself, gently. I had a good deal of change over last summer and am still catching up. What helps me with my eating is fixing the other issues in my life.

I think there’s a bit of a mental “stall” as well, because when looking in the mirror sometimes, I have a hard time with seeing my loose skin because it feels like it’s still holding a lot of fat. And I think that it clouds my judgement on how much progress I’ve made

after surgery, our bodies lose weight faster than our brains can understand. it's weird, but you know it when you experience it. I recall seeing a reflection in a window and thinking "if only I was small like that woman" and, of course, it was my reflection. but my brain would not/could not see that it was me.

eventually, you catch up and can see yourself as you are again.

 

[Suzie]

@JackieOnLine Thank you so much for weighing in and sharing your struggles with BED.

It’s almost a bit like spraining your ankle, where the disordered thinking can pop back into your mind with just one small misstep, then BAM. I’d like to think I’ve developed pretty strong ankles by this point, but I also don’t wanna try figure skating anytime soon LOL.

I did try some light food tracking soon after surgery to just check my protein intake every once in a while, all while having regular check ins with my bariatric/ED specialized therapist. So I think I can try doing some form of tracking again, but it 100% needs to be tracking that focuses on trying to surpass a minimum threshold (ie. at least 120g protein) as opposed to the typical CICO tracking (ie. fewer than xxxx calories per day).

As for my body image, I think I’m caught up with my new shape and silhouette. It’s when I take my clothes off that I suddenly feel big again because of my overhanging belly and other loose skin, which makes me feel like I haven’t progressed much. Like I forget about having lost 110 lbs, as if my loose skin is stealing away my big shiny trophy that I worked so hard for! It’s tough but I think maybe I should start trying to look past the loose skin for new founded muscle definition perhaps… I’ll probably bring up this topic with my therapist at our next session! Phew, a lot to unpack there LOL.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I think it's excellent you are doing weight lifting!

 

[southernlady]

As for my body image, I think I’m caught up with my new shape and silhouette. It’s when I take my clothes off that I suddenly feel big again because of my overhanging belly and other loose skin, which makes me feel like I haven’t progressed much. Like I forget about having lost 110 lbs, as if my loose skin is stealing away my big shiny trophy that I worked so hard for! It’s tough but I think maybe I should start trying to look past the loose skin for new founded muscle definition perhaps

Yeah, completely understandable. Clothes are great for hiding the flaws. Longer sleeves hid my bat wings but I remember what my grandmother told me one time long ago. She wore sleeveless dresses in the summer, bat wings and all. I asked her why one time. She said for comfort and if others didn’t like it, they didn’t have to look.

Now, my bat wings come with creepy skin that is obviously caused by weight loss if my arm is at the right position.

My stomach is flappy, not fat these days. Either way, it doesn’t look great when I’m bare. But remember, you can help all this with exercise. It won’t get rid of the fat or flappy parts but it will help make your skin lay over your muscles better.

 

[JackieOnLine]

She said for comfort and if others didn’t like it, they didn’t have to look.

I think this is a great attitude and regret the years (decades!) I spent not wearing shorts in the hot weather because my legs are ugly.

Now I think comfort matters more than what others think AND that it's good to model to young people look how people actually are - we are all allowed to look like we look! a fight back against the body shaming so many participate in.

 

[southernlady]

I think this is a great attitude and regret the years (decades!) I spent not wearing shorts in the hot weather because my legs are ugly.

Now I think comfort matters more than what others think AND that it's good to model to young people look how people actually are - we are all allowed to look like we look! a fight back against the body shaming so many participate in.

I took that to heart and wore sleeveless even when big.

 

[galaxygrrl]

So, I lost weight for 18 months, but after the first 10 months, I would plateau for 4 or 5 weeks, then, boom, 5 to 10 pounds would drop in a week. As I came to the end of the weight lost, the plateaus lasted longer and the drops got smaller, but I kept losing. Of course, YMMV, but I know others have experienced the same thing.

 

[Suzie]

So, I lost weight for 18 months, but after the first 10 months, I would plateau for 4 or 5 weeks, then, boom, 5 to 10 pounds would drop in a week. As I came to the end of the weight lost, the plateaus lasted longer and the drops got smaller, but I kept losing. Of course, YMMV, but I know others have experienced the same thing.

Thanks for sharing! Yes, I entered plateau-land around the same time so that’s comforting! I would be totally fine if my body decided this was the end of the road for weight loss, but I think I’d be most comfortable around 180 lb, which at 5’9 is still technically 10 lbs overweight but I’m honestly not really fussed about entering normal BMI range.

You know, I think my judgement of how I’m doing personally is maybe being clouded by other people’s progress, and we all know comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

I just did some quick recalculations of EWL and if I count my pre-op weight of 315, and my target is 169 for normal BMI, the fact that I’m at 205 puts me right at 75% EWL at 12 months. For some reason I hadn’t been counting my pre-op weight (my weight at the time of my consultation). I think I need to chill out a bit with the weight tracking for a solid month perhaps. I may be putting too much importance on numbers.