Going public with your surgery?

[Revision]

Great post! I have been open about surgery only with those closest to me, friends and family. I feel that everyone has their issues, this is ours. Its no easier or harder than anyone else's issues, but just like most other people, I don't feel the need to share it with the world. Obesity is already such a prejudiced condition. I'm tired of caring about what other people think. I'm doing this for me and my family. That's who needs to know, IMHO.

Best of luck and keep up the great work. Your posts are very inspiring for my being just over 2 weeks out from surgery. Thanks!

 

[BebeZed]

I told close friends and the family that I actually get along with - I suppose the rest of the family knows but they don't like me anyway so I really don't care what they think. I'm otherwise keeping it mostly quiet although if someone asks, I'll tell. For example, I was at the lab getting my first set of labs done and she commented that it was quite the set of labs. I felt at home with her so I told her... and it was cool.

What I'm dreading is the whole dating thing. I definitely will not tell a guy about it up front but I guess if things progress (ha, as if!) then there will be questions about the surgery scars and all the loose skin. I've heard other ladies going through this say that a lot of guys run after that and I have the same attitude about them that I have about the ones who specify a "slim, toned woman" on their dating wish-list: they don't deserve me.

On second thought... maybe I won't date after all.

*forever alone*

LOL

 

[Munchkin]

I told close friends and the family that I actually get along with - I suppose the rest of the family knows but they don't like me anyway so I really don't care what they think. I'm otherwise keeping it mostly quiet although if someone asks, I'll tell. For example, I was at the lab getting my first set of labs done and she commented that it was quite the set of labs. I felt at home with her so I told her... and it was cool.

What I'm dreading is the whole dating thing. I definitely will not tell a guy about it up front but I guess if things progress (ha, as if!) then there will be questions about the surgery scars and all the loose skin. I've heard other ladies going through this say that a lot of guys run after that and I have the same attitude about them that I have about the ones who specify a "slim, toned woman" on their dating wish-list: they don't deserve me.

On second thought... maybe I won't date after all.

*forever alone*

LOL

You will only be alone if you want to be. I did more dating post DS than I did in my prime. And I am an old bag. I was one of the always fat. So I had my 10 minutes in the sun when I was in my 50's. And I looked the best in my life in my 50's too. I even dated MULTIPLE men. And I didn't have to pay them either.

 

[DSRIGGS]

My two cents. It isn't a big deal unless you want to make it a big deal. All personal preference.

I told my boss and close people I worked with what was happening and when I came back and others noticed the weight loss I shared (depending on who they were) because I wasn't the least bit embarrassed because I did it for my health....and I wanted the "Oh you had a Gastric Bypass" people to be educated that the GBP doesn't work, but the DS sure the hell does.

Family and close friends all knew it was going to happen and at about 9-12 months out I made a facebook post to my friends explaining what I had gone through and why...in fairly decent detail.

I never hide it from anyone and as you from my posting on this board I am a very open person, but that is me.

Related: I was at the pain clinic with Cameron last week and two ladies were talking in the waiting room about their issues and how they were diabetic and weight was causing them to need at some point knee and or other surgeries obviously caused by or exacerbated by their morbid obesity. I listened until I heard a lady say she was scheduled a RnY GBP. At that point I said excuse me, my apologies for butting in (they were very loud and entire room had heard their conversation that they made no attempt to hid) but did you say your sister has diabetes? Yes, she said and me as well, in fact I am going to classes for weight loss surgery. At that point I told her that 30 months ago I weighted 365 and had an HgBA1C around 9 and that today I weight 175 lbs and have an A1C of 4. Naturally I got the, wow that is incredible so I proceeded to ask her if since she had diabetes and wanted the best chance at long term weight loss and diabetes resolution, was she getting the DS. She said, no I am getting the RnY GBP but I have heard of the DS. She didn't say, oh don't you walk around farting and shitting yourself all day while eating vitamins at the same time.....so I said to her, I don't want to speak poorly or be preachy but you really need to research the DS because you really get one shot at this (lady was early to mid 50's) and frankly the RnY GBP doesn't have great long term results but the DS does. Unfortunately Cameron got called back at that point and I wanted to go with him (to make sure pain doc was giving him something I didn't want him on) so I didn't get a chance to talk more but I gave her the site address and told her to take a look around. Hopefully she did because she seemed like a bright lady who was genuinely interested in learning more.

 

[Felicity]

The only people that know are my parents, siblings, and husband. And of course doctors. I don't Facebook often, but even if I did, I would keep this to myself. Come to think of it, last time I posted a picture of myself on FB, I think I was 380#... I guess there would be questions/comments if I posted now 100# lighter, but I prefer to stay away from attention and drama and such.
One thing I found funny was when I went to my chiropractor last week - I hadn't been there in about 8 months and he walked into the room and introduced himself as if we had never met. Then he looked at my chart again, then gasped saying he didn't recognize me. It was pretty fun to elicit that kind of reaction.
Anyway, I am rambling. Do what you are most comfortable with!

 

[aaa]

...One thing I found funny was when I went to my chiropractor last week - I hadn't been there in about 8 months and he walked into the room and introduced himself as if we had never met. Then he looked at my chart again, then gasped saying he didn't recognize me. It was pretty fun to elicit that kind of reaction. ...

I had that happen several times during my first couple of years. A doctor would walk in, look at me, look at my chart and say, "I didn't recognize you!" I would say, "You weren't supposed to!"

 

[BebeZed]

You will only be alone if you want to be. I did more dating post DS than I did in my prime. And I am an old bag. I was one of the always fat. So I had my 10 minutes in the sun when I was in my 50's. And I looked the best in my life in my 50's too. I even dated MULTIPLE men. And I didn't have to pay them either.

I think my problem is more in my head than anywhere else. I used to date, wasn't alone for long, but then I always had disastrous relationships too. So yeah, I think until I figure out why I always have traumatic relationships, I just need to stay out of it. I don't need that type of stress...

LOL on your last line

 

[Munchkin]

I think my problem is more in my head than anywhere else. I used to date, wasn't alone for long, but then I always had disastrous relationships too. So yeah, I think until I figure out why I always have traumatic relationships, I just need to stay out of it. I don't need that type of stress...

LOL on your last line

So don't have a relationship. Just enjoy life and have fun!

 

[chevtow]

I don't hide it. My extended family all learned from my dad, which didn't bother me, and they've all been ultra supportive to the point of calling me to be sure their holiday meals will work with my surgery. As a matter of fact every person I've told has been very positive. Many at the local poker room ( I'm a junkie lol) know, and some of them brought in jerky or sugar free drinks for my birthday. I'm very open about it if asked, figuring my story could help the questioner or their friends/family.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

In my case, I was dying and everyone around me knew it. So it was an easy decision to go public. I don't recall if I announced it outright on Facebook, but I probably did. At the time, my Internet support system was more focused on the old Delphi forums, and I was very open there. A marvelous bunch of people signed on to call daily during my recovery.

I was disabled, so I had no workplace interaction worries. For me it was church people, a few neighbors and a few family members. All were appropriately supportive from the outset.

As the weight fell off, some people got a little weird, but I didn't care. I was happy to educate advice givers--indeed, flooding them with information was (and is) my preferred method for shutting them up :-D.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

My daddy use to do the "why are you always so mad?" Told him I wasn't but was thinking..apparently I also have a RBF.

I can see it from here...botox time, Sister!

 

[KathrynK]

Now, 10 years later, I don't tell anyone. My closest friends know, but I've changed jobs a few time since then. My old neighbors know I lost a lot of weight, but I haven't shared why and no one asks. The new ones don't know. I removed the pictures of the heavy me from the photo frames around the house. I'm uncomfortable in conversations when women talk about their diets and ask me how I stay thin, and I say I eat several small high protein meals. I should tell the whole story, since this diet wouldn't have worked if I were still fat, but I don't.