Cognitive Therapy / Counselling requirement?

KyahRose

Active Member
So, I did my required psychological exam, and got a pass for my revision. However, the psychologist pretty much stated she highly recommends that I attend their therapy. I've done 3 sessions, literally 3 weeks in a row. The first 2 weeks were the intake questionnaire (tell me again why I couldn't have filled this out PRIOR to our first meeting?!); the third visit, which was today, I pretty much told her that meeting weekly was not going to work for me....for one, it's at least $100 per session....two; I have absolutely NOTHING to freaking talk about or discuss in our sessions. So, yeah.....I just feel like I'm wasting time and energy...and I leave the session more annoyed than anything. It's not that I don't like the therapist, I just have nothing to ever talk about or discuss. It's all food / exercise related mentality....and honestly, I get better results regarding food / exercise related mentality from the nutritionist appointments for the same price.

So, today, towards the end of therapy, we're setting up scheduling for the next appointment; and she pretty much is telling me she has to schedule me weekly or else "they" get anal about her not seeing X patient every single week. Umm......tell me, now, why I got the feeling I am being money grubbed in this situation??? So, yeah. I really want this surgery, and I think I have support in multiple places to where I can and will succeed in my revision; but, I'm getting nothing out of these "therapy" sessions except more and more irritation and annoyance each week, and I just don't need or want that feeling in my life. We're really not even discussing anything but like goals....what are my goals? How do I feel?

And now, I for some reason feel this turned into a rant and no longer belongs here. Anyways, I'm done. But, seriously, has anyone else experienced this situation pre-surgery or anything? Thanks.
 

Spiky Bugger

Well-Known Member
Well, that’s nuts. (Pun unintended.)

Any way to weasel out if it? Like, tell her that your resources are not unlimited and while you are positive and excited and all about your upcoming surgery, you have observed that the surgery causes SO MANY changes…physical and emotional…you don’t want to put yourself in a position where you cannot afford the help you figure you might need, from her, post-op…or will that make you sound actually crazy?

I needed a single shrink appointment to be CLEARED for surgery.
 

KyahRose

Active Member
Well, that’s nuts. (Pun unintended.)

Any way to weasel out if it? Like, tell her that your resources are not unlimited and while you are positive and excited and all about your upcoming surgery, you have observed that the surgery causes SO MANY changes…physical and emotional…you don’t want to put yourself in a position where you cannot afford the help you figure you might need, from her, post-op…or will that make you sound actually crazy?

I needed a single shrink appointment to be CLEARED for surgery.
Yeah, I am cleared for surgery. But apparently the Psychologist thinks I need therapy. I'm "weaseling" out of it whether they like it or not. My funds are not unlimited...and I would rather put those funds towards my actual surgery cost before paying for more therapy. I figure, I may need the therapy more AFTER the surgery is done as I go through changes, etc. But, I'm curious how much about WLS / DS especially this lady knows about. I had to explain quite a bit more than I care to for someone specialized in dealing with weight loss surgery patients. So, yeah...I'm going to essentially postpone not do anymore pre op therapy visits....I really think they're more a waste preop. Also, this isn't exactly my first rodeo with WLS....I have an idea of what I'm in for. I've done my research, as thoroughly as I can; and I just feel right now, I'm in a holding pattern mentally, emotionally, etc until I start the next phase...which, will be the pre-op diet leading up to the surgery. I'll be on that for 2-3 weeks, and will get more information regarding pre / post op diet at my last nutrition appointment coming up in Feb. Also, my EGD procedure is just a couple days after my final nutrition appt.

So, off topic here, but, any thoughts on doing a sort of celebratory special meal or something before I start my preop diet? I kinda want to do something like Japan House or Fogo De Chao or some kind of celebration with a couple friends and my mom before I start my preop diet. Is this a good idea, or would it be defeating the purpose?
 

galaxygrrl

Well-Known Member
Ugh, I'm so sorry, if all these weight lost drugs prove anything, it's that this is a physiological problem. Screw therapists trying to make money off this issue.
 

KyahRose

Active Member
Ugh, I'm so sorry, if all these weight lost drugs prove anything, it's that this is a physiological problem. Screw therapists trying to make money off this issue.
Yeah. I get there is a mental aspect to this surgery. There is an aspect of changing the way you think about food and eating in general, but that is only a small portion of this new life. There is so much more, such as knowing what foods to eat and avoid, knowing portion sizes and what portions you can or need to eat at any given time before, during, after, etc. I get some people are emotional eaters, etc...that is a thing. I dont feel I am one of them, though. I occasionally may eat out of boredom or just because its the theoretical time to eat x type of meal. But, I can and do reconize those moments, and I am working on changing that behaviour. There are behaviour changes that need and must be changed to succeed, but like I said, the mental (therapy) part of that change is soo minimal compared to nutrition and exercise mentality that I just dont feel I get anything out of therapy sessions that I cant get from nutritional / exercise counselling better.

Thanks everyone. As for the celebratory meal, I think Ill leave that up in the air for now.
 

Spiky Bugger

Well-Known Member
The problems I’ve seen that concern me include:

1–the really sad cases of those women (although it could happen to men, too) whose morbid obesity caused them to “miss” normal adolescent experiences. They sometimes go apeshit insane with attention from men and find themselves getting laid across the hood of a car by someone whose name they never learned. Et cetera.
2–those who convinced themselves that EVERY bad thing that happened in their lives was the result of their obesity…which means to them that life should now be perfect, but it isn’t, so they are confused.
3–kind of related to #1, they start…at age 45 or so…dressing in every current teen fashion fad.
4–the MO mom of one of my Girl Scouts, who was overweight, repeatedly announcing, “Now Kristen weighs more than I do and she can’t fit in MY clothes.”

OR, just kidding, your sibling could need counselling! I know a slim, trim, fit identical twin whose MO sister just got the sleeve and is losing weight like crazy. The twin I know said that people are saying things like, “Are you avoiding me? You said you couldn’t make it to the wedding reception; I saw you there; waved at you; and you ignored me. What’s going on?”
 
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navygrrl

Well-Known Member
I was already in therapy prior to deciding to get surgery, so I'm not really of much help there. If you already have your clearance, then why do they need to keep seeing you? Is your clearance dependent on continuing therapy? It seems a bit sketch to me. Plus, even if you needed therapy, it doesn't sound like you and the therapist are a good match, so it would not really be beneficial for you to continue with this particular therapist.
 

southernlady

Administrator
Staff member
While you may benefit from therapy, does it have to be her? I suspect if you contact your insurance and ask for a list of therapists that deal with weight loss patient, they probably will have one. As long as you are seeking help, tell her to go take a long walk off a short pier!
 

KyahRose

Active Member
I am using my insurance currently.

Ehh, fuck it....honestly, I told her I would meet with her Feb 19th, and that I couldn't afford to keep meeting every single week. Also told her that I really didn't feel I was getting anything from the sessions, and that I just didn't have anything to really talk about. We literally met for like 20 minutes and I had nothing else to say. I live a dull life. Anyways, my last nutrition appt is Feb 14th, EGD procedure Feb 16th...I'm going to see how I feel after my EGD procedure and if I honestly have nothing to talk about / discuss, I'm cancelling the therapy....it's basically nothing but a waste of my HSA funds at this point. I have some suspicions and feelings towards this place, and they're not good. I really feel they're just wanting the payments that come with forcing patients to keep attending sessions every week....and I'm sorry, but if this is going to be a requirement (which, my insurance does NOT require...only the initial psych eval), then I'm bout to take my fat ass for a long ass walk away from this place. If that means I don't get the surgery, then I suppose I'll either find another surgeon, or just go without. But honestly, I am more and more feeling this is some shady ass shit to bring in money from people like me who want the surgery and are scared to push back on something that doesn't feel right. Sorry, but meeting EVERY single week...and feeling obligated to meet every week like this just feels excessive to me.

So, that's my thoughts and plans on this matter at this point. I'm not about to waste my time and money doing something that I don't feel is benefitting me any. I know where my mind and feelings need to be; I know all of these things, and it's not something that she can help me with necessarily....it's not going to suddenly change every week; that's not how my mind works.
 
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