anyone do this without a support system?

[jerseygirl69]

I live alone with 2 dogs. I don't know that I want to tell anyone that I'm doing it (if I do it). Is that possible? anyone do this on their own?

 

[brooklyngirl]

I can't speak to whether or not you'll be able to do it alone, I would think the dogs would be an issue, but others will be able to speak to that.

What I will give my 2 cents about is keeping your surgery a total secret. I was very hesitant to tell people about pursuing WLS, it's a very sensitive subject for those of us that have battled with obesity and the embarrassment that goes along with it, but as I did, I found more support than I ever imagined. My family and close friends were worried sick about me, and I was in a similar weight class to what you stated in your other thread. They were all reluctant to hurt my feelings, but it came out little by little that they were worried that I was going to die if I kept up on the same path. Now, if you pretended you were just losing weight on your own, then they would be as relieved as if you had surgery, but you wouldn't have their SUPPORT. What if you had complications, they can be very minor, but how would you deal with even minor ones on your own in secret? How would you feel about lying to all of the people who are close to you forever? When someone sees you losing weight, they immediately want to know how you're doing it and what you eat and how you work out, are you prepared to lie about that every single day? If family/friends see you eating a bacon cheeseburger dipped in ranch while you're losing weight quickly, they'll think you're bulimic or something.

This is just my opinion, others might disagree and you'll have to come to your own decision. I just want you to consider how that will be for you, emotionally.

 

[southernlady]

You will need help with the dogs...even if it's just a neighbor kid coming over to walk them and make sure they have food and water. While walking is encouraged after surgery, walking dogs is totally different from walking around the dining room table. Even the best trained will pull on a leash if given the right circumstances.

My dh and I had surgery 5 weeks apart. He went first...after my surgery, WE had a pet sitter come in daily to take care of our cats...handle the litter box, fill food bowls and water bowls for a week...he hadn't been released to do things like that and I was fresh out of surgery. And cats do not require walking.

I would have at least ONE person around.

Back in 1994, I was single, lived alone except for three cats and had a partial hysterectomy (open not lap). I had a good friend stay with me the first week and my Mother came over daily the next week to make sure I was still moving and not doing anything stupid. It's not so much that you need help but it IS major surgery and things can happen quickly...if you had a complication, and are alone, the dogs won't be able to call for help.

 

[Terri]

I have told 1 friend, my husband, our neighbors to the left, my adult daughter, and my adult niece. I am not ashamed nor planning on hiding it. I am not telling anyone else because I don't want unsolicited advice from people. It is my decision and I have been on here and other forums to get advice and real life experiences. I do not know anyone that has had WLS but I know lots of people (especially family) that would have an opinion about it.

As far as help I have a special needs child that I have arrange for caregivers to care for. Other than taking the first week I am home off Mr. Terri works 12-14 hour nights and then sleeps all day until time to get up and start again, so I will essentially be taking care of myself after the first week. I will have my niece and neighbors checking on me and daughter is planning on coming home for a week sometime after I have the surgery.

 

[Munchkin]

Depends on your situation. Do you just have to open the door to let the dogs out or do you have to walk them? My surgery was open and I could manage feeding etc as soon as I got home. But if you are kenneling them while you have surgery, you could always leave them in boarding a couple extra days. Just make sure any bags of food/water buckets, etc don't weigh much. Maybe put a days worth of food in individual zip bags or something like that.

You will need for someone to check on you every day. Even if it's just by phone. Some docs also arrange for home health care for a week or so.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

If you look around, you might be able to find a Home Health service that will bend its 4-hour minimum rule for two hours a day for a week or so post-op. They can stand-by while you shower, do a load of laundry, cook a day's worth of meals, take the trash out and/or walk the dogs. It isn't REALLY cheap, but you know...just knowing that another human will be there checking on you while you are not in great shape might be worth it depending on what you can afford.

I had this service set up in the town where I had surgery...3.5 hours from home...in case I needed help and my husband needed to go home and back to work, but I was good to go home and had family once I got there.

Oh...and I told my sister and my BFF who lives thousands of miles away and doesn't know any of my local friends...but not my mom and none of my friends or neighbors. I would run into former coworkers who would scream, "Oh my God! I didn't recognize you! You must have lost 100 pounds or something!" That was kind of fun! If they ASKED if
I had wls, I'd answer honestly. But I didn't volunteer information.

 

[Joanne]

My husband works long hours, and I was home alone most of the day and evening. It was manageable. I agree with the suggestions to keep lots of things handy.

I think the dogs would be too much for you - you'll be tired. I would also have an emergency stand-by person to be available to come over if you call. I wouldn't anticipate any emergencies, but just in case it would be good to have someone able to come help.

 

[aaa]

I had my mother for a week. That was all. I needed her.

As for telling; no one knows I had WLS to this day. The exception being my immediate family and physicians I believe need to know. No other family members nor friends.

 

[west4thavenue]

You will need help with the dogs...

You may just need help in general. Lots of variables from one person to the next. Some people just have a harder time than others, especially right afterward. Even laparoscopically, this is an invasive surgery. Why don't you play it safe and ask someone to stay with you for the first couple of days?

 

[jerseygirl69]

I don't really have anyone to ask to stay with me.

 

[west4thavenue]

Can you board the dogs for a couple of days?

 

[jerseygirl69]

Yes, I can kennel them, and I can save for that expense. They can leash pull and are 20lbs each, so I get that lifting and walking them first week wouldn't be wise. But do you absolutely need a health aide?

Where can I read more about healing from the operation?

 

[Sandy]

Yes, I can kennel them, and I can save for that expense. They can leash pull and are 20lbs each, so I get that lifting and walking them first week wouldn't be wise. But do you absolutely need a health aide?

Where can I read more about healing from the operation?

It's not just for the first week that you need to be careful about the dogs pulling. You will have weight limitations for 6 weeks and that includes no lifting, pushing, pulling, tugging, etc. anything over 10 lbs. It takes that long for the soft tissue inside to heal back together. This is a standard surgery protocol that applies across the board - not just the DS.

 

[southernlady]

Yes, I can kennel them, and I can save for that expense. They can leash pull and are 20lbs each, so I get that lifting and walking them first week wouldn't be wise. But do you absolutely need a health aide?

Where can I read more about healing from the operation?

If they are known for pulling on a leash, make sure you have someone to walk them for at a minimum the first month. Do you have a pet sitter or does your vet know someone who can do that daily?

I know even tho we have a fenced yard for the dogs to go out, ours still need a daily walk.

You need someone who can check on you daily, even by phone.

 

[Larra]

I did just fine on my own. I also have a dog, and I had a friend take care of him (and the cats) while I was in the hospital, and she also walked him after I got home until I was up to it. She has cared for my animals many times when I've been out of town, and I pay her for this. She also did a few little things like carry heavy boxes of kitty litter from the garage into the house. That was all the help I needed. I had shopped ahead, had little portions set up in the freezer, plenty of cans of soup, etc.
If you plan ahead, and have some help with your doggies, you should be ok at home. Of course you will need someone to drive you to and from the hospital. There's no getting around that.