thoughts on regain and other DS topics

[buffalobillsfan]

One of the things I'm always curious about (and not a lot of people provide this info) is when people ask about how to lose regain, they tend to leave out their stats. What I would want to see is height/starting weight/lowest weight/pants and shirt sizes and current info. Add some pictures so we can visually see what you are talking about. If someone who was a size 10 is now a size 16 there may be an issue. If someone is a size 2 and now a size 6....not so much. That might just be acceptable bounce back.

One thing that stood out to me and I think it's important to note is that we really don't want to strive for a NORMAL BMI. My surgeon's office said that obese people's bodies adjust to the excess weight by adding bone mass and our frames widen to carry the load. They said when they do see people achieve normal BMI, they often look gaunt. We should strive for an overweight BMI to look healthy. Just a guideline, not a rule, of course.

I know that before my DS I had dreams and aspirations of being 117 lbs (sounded lovely for a 5'2" female). I still laughed when my surgeon said he expected me to get to 150 lbs. I seriously couldn't even imagine that was a possibility. I thought I would never get that low. I would have been pleased to reach a weight lower than I could remember in my adult life which was under 170 lbs. I normally weigh between 143 to 151 lbs. I am ok with that and I'm happy that I'm ok with that. I have long thrown out the notion that I needed to be a single digit size to be happy. I never expected that size 12 or 14 would be ok with me or that I would be ok with out plastic surgery. If I weighed 117 lbs I would look horrible. I lost down to 134 this morning (from recent bowel obstruction surgery) and I don't like looking at myself now. I can't wait to eat my way back up! I'm eating like a good DSer with all protein and liquids and little else.

Secondly, if you ask one of your friends, coworkers, or family members who you know will be honest with you about how you look now, what would they say? Yes, people do worry about us during the rapid weight loss phase and we shun them when they tell us not to lose more weight or to stop losing. I think rapid weight loss does a number on our looks and it takes time to redistribute and look normal. I think I was about 18-24 months out before I hit my sweet spot. ANY gain is scary to us isn't it?! You just wonder how far it will go and if this is it and the party just ended. Ask a few people if you can and if they think you look better with the regain then try to sit with that notion for a little while before panicking.

I also think that if your body can easily maintain a certain weight for several months then why try to fight that weight with dieting. Aren't we sick of conventional dieting? Is that weight so bad that you want to go back to beating yourself up every meal and hating how you look? How do you feel? Do you look your age or older? Do you have energy and vitality? Measure those things into your equation as well. I always keep in mind my "personal low" and it can be hard to be over that number....even when it's a pound or two....but I do my self talk and remind myself of the bad old days.

I do think that rapid gaining is a problem that should be addressed. Is it due to a physical issue, mental issue, or is it truly diet related? I eat carbs. I eat all my protein first but I do eat carbs, too. I don't make excuses for it. I know that isn't for everyone (If I had bad bloating or gas I would adjust accordingly because that's a lifestyle downer) but I don't want to hate myself for what I eat.

Just some babbling in my bored surgery recovery!

Best,
Cathy

 

[Munchkin]

Things change. The DS you have today won't be the same 10, 12, 15 years from now! And everyone's DS was not created equal from the very beginning!

After a whole life of being fat, I wanted to be thin. And I know I never will be. So the DS was great for me but I will never get my wish! I so wanted to be one of those people who lost too much! And then bounced back to that perfect mid-normal BMI.

I would look a whole lot better if I could afford plastics and hernia repair. Most old women are fat so I just look quasi-normal.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

I was too damned scrawny at the lowest weight I kissed for three minutes on my sister's scale, which was 152 and put me at a BMI of 24, size 10 with a bit of room to spare. I considered myself the image of perfection at 170 and a size 12 in most brands, 14 in a few. Now I consider myself a wee bit pudgy hovering around 185 and 14 most/16 in a few.

When I don't like the fit of my favorite bras and jeans, I cut back the carbs and kick up the activity a little bit until they fit right again. I haven't been on the scale since the summer. Things fit. I'm happy. Bring on some GOOD chocolate .

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I think weight is far less important than BMI...or even waist size. For comparing, and I really do try to avoid that because we are all so different in so many ways, I think BMI is a far better indicator than pounds. And, even though I have learned that MANY people don't do well with the math on this, Percentage of Excess Weight Lost is, to me, another good "unit of measurement."

But this site has lots of photos...
http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight.html

 

[k9ophile]

OK, I guess my problem is a bit different in that I'd like to gain weight. Or is that just be healthy? My last bout with a kidney stone real did a number on me. I had no appetite or was nauseous, or if I could eat I couldn't keep it down. I was even throwing up my supplements. This started Oct 2, and I'm just now beginning to feel human. yet I still have these episodes where I can't eat or throw up or feel weak. And I'm going nuts wondering if this is all due to the kidney stone episode or something else. When do I panic? Can my labs crash after one month of missing them?

 

[revisionDS]

Things change. The DS you have today won't be the same 10, 12, 15 years from now! And everyone's DS was not created equal from the very beginning!

excellent, well put, ahhh everyone's DS was not created equal, that may be an understatment. With the vsg size, the limb lengths there can be countless differeneces. a 40Fr can be smaller than a 32Fr depending on how close to the bougie the staple line was, was it oversewn? those are surgical differeces, how about physiological differences? length, how fast does the stomach empty etc. and one of the favorites the limb lenghts primarily common channel. one surgeon streches when meausures another one does not, etc. then of course we all recover from intestinal bypass differently.
I understand what the OP is saying and yes, wls was meant to get rid of comorbidities, etc, to normalize people not to make them "thin" whatever that definition is, but we change when we are losing weight, our goal changes etc. having had my first wls almost 12 years ago and having 4 weight loss surgeries (you gotta love the lap band for re-operation rates, 3 for me) I have been around the block, surgey is far from perfect, but I think the DS offers us the best way to attempt to be normal. It is definetly NOT for everyone, but it is for me.

 

[southernlady]

Secondly, if you ask one of your friends, coworkers, or family members who you know will be honest with you about how you look now, what would they say? Yes, people do worry about us during the rapid weight loss phase and we shun them when they tell us not to lose more weight or to stop losing. I think rapid weight loss does a number on our looks and it takes time to redistribute and look normal. I think I was about 18-24 months out before I hit my sweet spot. ANY gain is scary to us isn't it?! You just wonder how far it will go and if this is it and the party just ended. Ask a few people if you can and if they think you look better with the regain then try to sit with that notion for a little while before panicking.

Asking friends, coworkers, or family is not a good idea. ASK your doctor, or if someone who NEVER knew you fat mentions you being too skinny...then maybe you are. The others remember you fat or at least fatter...their perception of too skinny is based on what they remember, not what they actually see.

I reached normal BMI at 7 months out...then stalled for 5 months before losing again. I actually thought I was done but still ate like I was losing and eventually it DID kick back in. I FELT too skinny at 121 which I kissed for 10 seconds at 17 months out. I have settled in between 135-145. I hate how *I* feel at the top end but like how I feel at 135-140. And all my excess has landed in my middle.

My body, even at my skinny point has too much middle. Think of a barrel on toothpicks! My waist is my downfall. Any time I actually stick a tape measure around my middle I GET DEPRESSED!!! But plastics are not in my future.

I have no ass, never did. It's why at my pre-surgery weight at 5'4", I was still wearing a 16W/18W but my tops were 3XL's. Now, my ass can fit a 2/4, my waist really needs an 8 but some brands of 6's work. My top now ranges from a M to an XL/1X. And all of this is dependent on HOW things are made. There is NO standard in sizing women's clothes. Men's are a bit better but not much, vanity sizing hasn't run amok in the men's department yet.

I have an old (late 1970's) Army Uniform in my closet. I wore it EASILY at age 29. IT IS A size 14. Now at my size 4-8 ass/waist, I have trouble zipping it. Vanity sizing at it's best.

 

[bearmom]

Make sure you are not dehydrated, especially if you've barfed at all, and depending on what you've taken for the kidney stones, they can make you pee, pee, pee, so if you don't keep up with the fluid intake, you can end up dehydrated. The dehydration then causes more nausea. A bad cycle to get stuck in. Also, you may need labs checked, as if you were drinking a lot to get a stone to pass, that flushes out some of the water solubles a bit faster.