This week's solicitation phone calls...

[Spiky Bugger]

I think that to entertain myself in spite of...or with...the never-ending solicitation calls that come in on my landline, I need to develop a new response every week. I started today...

First, there's the telltale VOIP noises, then they excitedly greet me by name. So...

Yes?

I'm Mary Smith with Phony Contractors Inc and we're calling...

Oh my gawd! You called back! I was wondering if you would call back.

(Mary sounded confused.) Well, yes! We are calling because we do all kinds of remodeling work...

I know! But how many new bedrooms should I add? When you called before, I wanted to make some decisions before your people came out here. Like...should I paint all the new rooms the same color?

And so on.


Next week, I may recruit them to sell Jafra cosmetics.

Whaddaya think?

 

[southernlady]

Sounds like fun times. I don't have the patience to play games with them, I just hang up.

 

[k9ophile]

Depends on my mood; some times I play and other times I hang up. My phone/my rules.

"Oh my God! The cat just knocked over a candle. I have to call 911."

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Sounds like fun times. I don't have the patience to play games with them, I just hang up.

But that saves THEM time and then they call ME and bug. It is now your job to keep them busy as long as possible.

 

[southernlady]

But that saves THEM time and then they call ME and bug. It is now your job to keep them busy as long as possible.

Well, I solved the landline problem by no longer having a landline. Sold the house, use just cell phones fulltiming.

 

[hilary1617]

Call block is my favorite phone feature. Also, when I do answer solicitation calls, I use a work greeting "Hello, you've reached [Employer Name]. This is Hilary". Then they apologize, hang up, and usually don't call back - as they aren't supposed to call businesses.

 

[JackieOnLine]

might as well enjoy yourself, is my theory.

listen, do you like to talk on the phone? because I'd get a landline again if I had someone to talk TO. it's no fun on a cell, that's for sure.

 

[k9ophile]

might as well enjoy yourself, is my theory.

listen, do you like to talk on the phone? because I'd get a landline again if I had someone to talk TO. it's no fun on a cell, that's for sure.

One of the things I like about my landline is hanging up. Ending a cell call is too passive. I gotta slam the receiver down sometimes.

 

[JackieOnLine]

LOL - that could be satisfying, yes.

but I have fond memories of long, long talks with my cousin or good friends where our ears got sore and the biggest inconvenience was the cord. (if I had a cordless landline, I don't remember it)

now, when I am on the phone with someone it sounds terrible and I have to constantly work to not accidentally hang up on them. it's no FUN. plus, nobody wants to be on the phone for hours with me anymore, I guess.

WOE.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

LOL - that could be satisfying, yes.

but I have fond memories of long, long talks with my cousin or good friends where our ears got sore and the biggest inconvenience was the cord. (if I had a cordless landline, I don't remember it)

now, when I am on the phone with someone it sounds terrible and I have to constantly work to not accidentally hang up on them. it's no FUN. plus, nobody wants to be on the phone for hours with me anymore, I guess.

WOE.

I don't think it's YOU. I used to have those marathon calls...to the point that the phone company repair guy said, "Well, you don't start hearing that buzzing noise unless you're on a call for an hour or two."

To which I replied, "Did I subscribe to a LIMITED service?"

They rewired my pole. The buzzing stopped. But...it was when The Night Stalker was going around killing people...one of whom I had just met and another who lived down the street from my mom...and Mr. Sue was forevermore out of town and our cute but dumb dog only barked at friends (and hid from steangers, so maybe he wasn't that dumb) so I wasn't sleeping well anyway.

 

[k9ophile]

now, when I am on the phone with someone it sounds terrible and I have to constantly work to not accidentally hang up on them. it's no FUN. plus, nobody wants to be on the phone for hours with me anymore, I guess.

LOL I have a handset that plugs into the cell. My husband has a Tracfone with over 4000 minutes. I told him to use it when he calls his buddy in CO. We equally share a disdain for cell phones. In our house, their use is limited.

I do reluctantly admit that I like the Bluetooth capability for my cell on the rare occasion I use it in my car. i.e. "I'm headed home. You want me to bring something for supper?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

UPDATE! UPDATE!

I turned the script around...it was fun.

~~~~~~~~~

Him: Hello, Mrs. Spiky?

Me: (Excitedly) Yes! Who is calling?

Him: I'm Jason ExCon (who can't get a better job) from the Home Improvement Center (which doesn't exist.) I'm calling to confirm...

Me: Jason!?! Just a minute! We mailed you information on California Title 24 and I'm checking to confirm that you received it.

Him: Uhm...No? I mean...

Me: Well, Jason, we'd be glad to give you a free estimate on some of the Title 24 improvements you might need. Can we make an appointment right now?

Him: (crickets)

Me: Jason?

Him: Have a nice day...

 

[JackieOnLine]

 

[Happy DSr]

Him: Hello, Mrs. XXXX?

Me: (Excitedly) Yes! Who is calling?

Him: I'm Jason ExCon (who can't get a better job) from the Home Improvement Center (which doesn't exist.) I'm calling to confirm...

Me:

"just one second, I need to turn off the stove..."
me putting phone handset down next to television/radio and going back to what I was doing.
Checking back later to reset the phone, if needed.
Figuring it will waste him time for a while on hold, without wasting mine.