My heart is heavy. Diane was 55. I was my sister's keeper. She married an abusive husband and after many years she finally left him but not before subjecting the kids to years of upheavals. My sister graduated from Purdue University top of deans list with a RN degree. At 16 she was diagnosed with PMS. Not much know about it years ago, and at 18 bipolar. Many years of attempted overdose. She would call me I would call 911, and then she would get help in the psy. hospital. Years of this behavior.
She raised 3 kids and put them through Purdue with this illness. Her youngest is 21 and a Jr. on the Deans list. They are in shock, I am just going through the space in time.
Diane became SMO about 9 years ago. The meds. she takes to keep the bipolar in check put the weight on. A few years ago she started the process of wls. She was so excited. Disability and Medicaid was going to pave the way for this. Deep down I felt that any kind of wls would be the end of her. But I was willing to stand back and let her see how the cards would fall as she was in so much hurt. Starting and stopping the process the first 1 1/2years was tolling on her. By now her feet that needed surgery was not going to happen as she was not a candidate for surgery. 2 rounds of steroids shot in her feet did nothing. Her back pain was out of control and the patch and pain meds. didn't touch the pain. Her knee surgery done 4 years ago was hurting and steroids shots did nothing. The other knee that was suppose to be replaced could not be as she was not a candidate at this time.
She was a candidate it seems for the medical profession to abuse her because of her mental illness. With my own health issues going I was able to get a dear friend to come and go to her house bring her food, talk to her help w/bathing, shopping and the server depression she was in. Four weeks ago while talking to her on the phone she talks about how tired she is, wanting to go home be with mom. My mom passed away at the age of 61 with heart failure and being SMO. My sister never got over my mom's passing. My father never remarried and lives with me in a apartment attached to my house. At 81 while he slowed down this winter nursing him through the singles and afib, my sister decided she wants to live with dad. This was strange to me as she has always know as soon as dad passes she can come and live with us in his apartment as long she takes her meds. and is in therapy. This has always gave her comfort. She now lives in a duplex that me and my brother own. He lives in one side and my sister lives in the other. She was to move over to my home when dad passes.
3 weeks ago she would call me every night telling me she finds it hard to breath. Go see your PCP. She did. he told her she had a cold. A few days later she called me in tears, I took her to ER. They said she had bronchitis and gave her antibiotics. 5 days later she called again, I took her to see her PCP. Said she had asthma and gave her a inhaler. Told her the weight she had on her bones were too much and she needed to loose a few. I told him about my mother and heart disease that ran in our family. No this is just a cold and asthma. I asked if he would run some test or send her to someone that would and he said no.
Sitting alone in her apartment at 10:03pm my sister called 911. When the police and fire department arrived she was sitting in her chair watching tv. She did not answer the door when the police knocked. They knocked down the door. Did you call 911? Yes my chest is hurting and my hand hurts. My legs are numb. I am a nurse can you help me now? This is what the EMT came to me and said she said. I went to school with him and he knew I was her sister.
She never made it to the hospital. She died. Massive heart attack.
So all along she knew she was dying I think and she wanted to come to my home with dad and me and live out her dying. I'm broken, sad and I miss my sister. It was time for her to leave this world as it seems everything was going to be about her weight, and her mental illness. They never wanted to fix her, just move her along. God knew, or some higher power knew it was time, Diane could not take the fight anymore. The unmanaged pain and lack of kindness in this world in the health care and welfare was more than she could bare. I do know so many good health care and welfare dept. people but that was me. She was SMO, bipolar and off her meds a lot of the times, dealing with the disability offices and doctors I 'm sure they all seen her coming a mile away.
If any of you have a friend or family member who has mental illness, send some love this Valentine. It is so very easy to love someone who is loveable, but to love someone who is not takes true love.
She raised 3 kids and put them through Purdue with this illness. Her youngest is 21 and a Jr. on the Deans list. They are in shock, I am just going through the space in time.
Diane became SMO about 9 years ago. The meds. she takes to keep the bipolar in check put the weight on. A few years ago she started the process of wls. She was so excited. Disability and Medicaid was going to pave the way for this. Deep down I felt that any kind of wls would be the end of her. But I was willing to stand back and let her see how the cards would fall as she was in so much hurt. Starting and stopping the process the first 1 1/2years was tolling on her. By now her feet that needed surgery was not going to happen as she was not a candidate for surgery. 2 rounds of steroids shot in her feet did nothing. Her back pain was out of control and the patch and pain meds. didn't touch the pain. Her knee surgery done 4 years ago was hurting and steroids shots did nothing. The other knee that was suppose to be replaced could not be as she was not a candidate at this time.
She was a candidate it seems for the medical profession to abuse her because of her mental illness. With my own health issues going I was able to get a dear friend to come and go to her house bring her food, talk to her help w/bathing, shopping and the server depression she was in. Four weeks ago while talking to her on the phone she talks about how tired she is, wanting to go home be with mom. My mom passed away at the age of 61 with heart failure and being SMO. My sister never got over my mom's passing. My father never remarried and lives with me in a apartment attached to my house. At 81 while he slowed down this winter nursing him through the singles and afib, my sister decided she wants to live with dad. This was strange to me as she has always know as soon as dad passes she can come and live with us in his apartment as long she takes her meds. and is in therapy. This has always gave her comfort. She now lives in a duplex that me and my brother own. He lives in one side and my sister lives in the other. She was to move over to my home when dad passes.
3 weeks ago she would call me every night telling me she finds it hard to breath. Go see your PCP. She did. he told her she had a cold. A few days later she called me in tears, I took her to ER. They said she had bronchitis and gave her antibiotics. 5 days later she called again, I took her to see her PCP. Said she had asthma and gave her a inhaler. Told her the weight she had on her bones were too much and she needed to loose a few. I told him about my mother and heart disease that ran in our family. No this is just a cold and asthma. I asked if he would run some test or send her to someone that would and he said no.
Sitting alone in her apartment at 10:03pm my sister called 911. When the police and fire department arrived she was sitting in her chair watching tv. She did not answer the door when the police knocked. They knocked down the door. Did you call 911? Yes my chest is hurting and my hand hurts. My legs are numb. I am a nurse can you help me now? This is what the EMT came to me and said she said. I went to school with him and he knew I was her sister.
She never made it to the hospital. She died. Massive heart attack.
So all along she knew she was dying I think and she wanted to come to my home with dad and me and live out her dying. I'm broken, sad and I miss my sister. It was time for her to leave this world as it seems everything was going to be about her weight, and her mental illness. They never wanted to fix her, just move her along. God knew, or some higher power knew it was time, Diane could not take the fight anymore. The unmanaged pain and lack of kindness in this world in the health care and welfare was more than she could bare. I do know so many good health care and welfare dept. people but that was me. She was SMO, bipolar and off her meds a lot of the times, dealing with the disability offices and doctors I 'm sure they all seen her coming a mile away.
If any of you have a friend or family member who has mental illness, send some love this Valentine. It is so very easy to love someone who is loveable, but to love someone who is not takes true love.
