While I think this whole episode got a bit overblown, I think the OP should consider not only that her first post was thoughtless and self-absorbed, but that her hypersensitive* and arrogant response, asserting that she is more important than those whose FREE HELP she was demanding with an air of entitlement, was the ultimate cause of the to-do. And of course, this was compounded by her taking her complaint about my response to another message board where I'm not a member - but where others who know me were. That demonstrated poor judgment, on several levels.
Nevertheless, this website is, in my opinion, THE best source of information about bariatric surgery in general, and the DS in particular. We should not be unnecessarily driving people away by subjecting them to a trial by fire or a hazing initiation, even when the person comes here and behaves like an ass. We should be mindful that many newbies arrive here in a state of despair and are not thinking clearly; however, even newbies need to take responsibility for the content and tone of their posts - when they screw up, they should man up and apologize.
So, I hope she returns and seeks the help she clearly needs, in a way that respects our knowledge and the ethos of the group, including an apology for her prior behavior. But I hope we will be a little more mindful of the impact of our responses to asshattery from newbies in the future.
And, by the way - @McQueenB:
What I said: "If you actually want HELP, and not just a place to whine or vent, you need to do your part."
How you self-servingly misinterpreted what I said: "I am the furthest thing from a whiner." and "coming at me in our first interaction and being called a "whiner"" (which is what you said on the other board)
I never called you a whiner - you did that yourself, in order to try to make me look bad and justify your butthurt post on the other board - but you didn't fool anyone, and it backfired. Take responsibility for your words and actions. You WILL be held accountable by the people here who have been there, done that. If you truly want to be helped, and to pay it forward in return, you should embrace that. But you'll have to come off your high horse to do that.
Nevertheless, this website is, in my opinion, THE best source of information about bariatric surgery in general, and the DS in particular. We should not be unnecessarily driving people away by subjecting them to a trial by fire or a hazing initiation, even when the person comes here and behaves like an ass. We should be mindful that many newbies arrive here in a state of despair and are not thinking clearly; however, even newbies need to take responsibility for the content and tone of their posts - when they screw up, they should man up and apologize.
So, I hope she returns and seeks the help she clearly needs, in a way that respects our knowledge and the ethos of the group, including an apology for her prior behavior. But I hope we will be a little more mindful of the impact of our responses to asshattery from newbies in the future.
And, by the way - @McQueenB:
What I said: "If you actually want HELP, and not just a place to whine or vent, you need to do your part."
How you self-servingly misinterpreted what I said: "I am the furthest thing from a whiner." and "coming at me in our first interaction and being called a "whiner"" (which is what you said on the other board)
I never called you a whiner - you did that yourself, in order to try to make me look bad and justify your butthurt post on the other board - but you didn't fool anyone, and it backfired. Take responsibility for your words and actions. You WILL be held accountable by the people here who have been there, done that. If you truly want to be helped, and to pay it forward in return, you should embrace that. But you'll have to come off your high horse to do that.
