I might have ADHD!

[JackieOnLine]

I've been reading about it and found out about INATTENTIVE ADHD which needs a different name, IMO, since I was never the child who "can't sit still" so I always assumed I couldn't have ADHD.

and since I clearly have clinical anxiety all the deficits I'm having in Executive Functioning might be caused by that - or by dementia starting or a bunch of other things - BUT the more I read about ADHD the more I find that applies to me.

not sure what to do about it besides more research, but if there is a reason I can't get organized and struggle so much just to get things done, then maybe I can be more forgiving of myself since the shame/blame thing doesn't help at all.

My current therapist (who isn't very good, IMO) doesn't seem to know much about it and I already know I do not want to use medication for it, but I do want to know more about non-medication techniques and have several library books ordered.

and if anyone else here has ADHD I'd be interested in your story.

 

[galaxygrrl]

So I've got that. If you don't want to do meds, and I tried twice and they really did not for me. Adderall just made me think I was on speed. Ridalin, was OK.

But here is how to deal with it. You need to to create lots of structure in your life and deadlines to get things done and don't let them slip. This is hard, but it's the only thing that worked for me. I needed help to get this going. And I create a lot of structure in my life ( I hate it). But i live a very high peformance life and have a high powered job. Could not do it with out creating structure. I have a life coach who is a therapist, but life life coach stuff better.

Every week, I sent her a list of what I need to do and we review last week, how I did and what I'm going to do next week.

Good luck and ask more questions if you want.

 

[JackieOnLine]

You need to to create lots of structure in your life

I had already known this on some level but have been having a lot of trouble with it due to unstable work history and difficulty finding affordable housing.

so I made a lot of things worse relocating so much and I've been trying really hard not to do that any more!

I have a life coach who is a therapist, but life life coach stuff better.

this is what I think I need! can you advise how to find one? I will be self pay but can do virtual so they don't have to be local.

I did go to the national website and search on providers in Oregon and nothing close at all so it will have to be virtual. but the sites/providers are all very different and I don't know how to choose.

it would be excellent to find someone who specializes in Adult Women who also have Anxiety, Depression and Binge Eating Disorder (apparently very common commodities according to this book ) but I haven't seen anyone like that so far.

my insurance is changing again at the end of the year so I wouldn't be going back to my current therapist anyway which is fine since I think I have already found out anything helpful he has to say and we need to be done.

 

[galaxygrrl]

Here is my life coach She is in Oregon https://www.liveboldlylifecoach.com/ First hour is free

 

[Spiky Bugger]

So I've got that. If you don't want to do meds, and I tried twice and they really did not for me. Adderall just made me think I was on speed. Ridalin, was OK.

But here is how to deal with it. You need to to create lots of structure in your life and deadlines to get things done and don't let them slip. This is hard, but it's the only thing that worked for me. I needed help to get this going. And I create a lot of structure in my life ( I hate it). But i live a very high peformance life and have a high powered job. Could not do it with out creating structure. I have a life coach who is a therapist, but life life coach stuff better.

Every week, I sent her a list of what I need to do and we review last week, how I did and what I'm going to do next week.

Good luck and ask more questions if you want.

You are obviously a superior human. That’s a BIG job! (Too big for me, lol.)

I just accept that a whole bunch of my stuff isn’t going to be done in a timely fashion. Just did last year’s taxes…first time tardy.

If it’s any consolation, MiniSue and a few of her similarly afflicted colleagues were discussing their lives and careers. They ALL have jobs that involve running from one chaotic event or situation to the next…and making it all work. And because they have lived their lives “trying to catch up,” they are all self-trained experts in their fields.

Some are party/wedding planners. Some work in film, setting up the first phone in the office and liquidating it all at the end. Others are into HUGE event planning…political stuff and major corporations’ events…some stationary and some that involve multiple locations. Shorter term gigs include making everything work when a company decides to move. I’d trust them to evacuate a medium-size town, get folks to new locations, and figure out what to do with all the kids until normal life resumes. I guess that, because their brains don’t “turn off,” a lot of info is stored in there And a crisis is just a motivator.

In fact, the theater dept at MiniSue’s HS created their “Saved Our Show” award, named after her. Show was on, cast “lost their place” and started talking in circles. She was standing next to the drama teacher and said, “I can fix it.” He told her to go for it…she charged on stage…interrupted the entire cast and recited some dialogue that got them back to where they belonged.

Her crowd would do well here:

 

[galaxygrrl]

I tend to think it's the life you want to live. I'm single, and I carry a San Francisco mortgage. I have a high-pressure job (to pay for the SF mortgage) and run a big team of people at work. I need structure. That said, most executives I know have a personal/executive coach.

If i did not have such a high demanding job, I would not need a coach, I don't think. I did not have one for years, but then, i got so overwhelmed, I needed help.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I tend to think it's the life you want to live. I'm single, and I carry a San Francisco mortgage. I have a high-pressure job (to pay for the SF mortgage) and run a big team of people at work. I need structure. That said, most executives I know have a personal/executive coach.

If i did not have such a high demanding job, I would not need a coach, I don't think. I did not have one for years, but then, i got so overwhelmed, I needed help.

Agreed. And I’m getting VERY close to 77 years old, retired with no obligations to do ANYthing. (Boring, to say the least.)

 

[hilary1617]

Please keep in mind that while neurodiversity can be associated with challenges (focus, executive function), it can be a superpower too (ability to step up during crisis, lateral thinking, ability to hyperfocus). Possible search terms are "ADHD coach" or "executive function coach".

On a related note, if anyone here would like, you can register at the below link for free tickets to stream the movie, Spellers online. The tickets are left over from something I put together for a group of colleagues who are parents of children with disabilities. The tickets will expire Dec 31 and will otherwise go to waste. Spellers is by no means a cinematic masterpiece and drags in parts, but shows that for some nonverbal individuals with autism who were presumed to have a cognitive deficit, that presumption was false. The challenge really was in that as children, they were not taught in a way that they could learn. They have been unlocked "from a silent prison" through hard work using a method that is appropriate for them (letterboards). Check it out! https://kinema.com/events/spellers-bj1sc

 

[navygrrl]

I have inattentive ADHD. I am not medicated for it since I can't take stimulants due to my heart condition. (I just had to run off mid post because I forgot I was baking a cake, and I also found my lunch that I'd also forgotten. ) I tried non-stimulant meds but they lowered my blood pressure way too much. Supposedly Wellbutrin is another option (I also have anxiety and depression) but I'm averse to that specific med for personal reasons.

I have to plan out my days. Whenever I think I can wing it, stuff gets missed. I can also get hyper-focused on things. Sometimes it's an all or nothing situation for me. I either do everything all at once or get overwhelmed and do nothing. I get distracted in the middle of telling stories. This also happens when I'm teaching and the kids try to take advantage of this lol.

I don't have much advice. I think those of us who get diagnosed late in life have already figured out how to live our lives. It's just sort of a relief to realize that, it's not that I've been incapable or flighty or absent-minded, my brain just works differently than whatever is considered normal.

I kicked out with my therapist because she also has ADHD. Keep looking until you find one that fits, if that's something you're interested in pursuing. I learned some useful techniques to quiet the noise that's always buzzing in my brain.

 

[galaxygrrl]

I have to plan out my days. Whenever I think I can wing it, stuff gets missed.

Structure.

 

[navygrrl]

Structure.

I mean, yeah, if you want to be concise and not wander off in a haze of wordiness.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I have a high-pressure job (to pay for the SF mortgage) and run a big team of people at work. I need structure. That said, most executives I know have a personal/executive coach.

most executives do? wow. kind of gobsmacked.

well, you are clearly living at the opposite end of the functionality scale than me, I am barely asking anything of myself and struggling to do it. like sell the 2nd car I haven't needed in 2 years now (but where will I put the stuff I store in there???) and the big one: look for a job.

The tickets will expire Dec 31 and will otherwise go to waste.

thank you so much for sharing, I will try to look at this week.

I think those of us who get diagnosed late in life have already figured out how to live our lives.

well, I'm only 62 so maybe someday I can catch up to everyone else!


I'm sure I will think of more questions to ask.

 

[galaxygrrl]

most executives do? wow. kind of gobsmacked.

Companies tend to pay for them. It's really the time management, leadership, and inter personal skills people need help with

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Companies tend to pay for them. It's really the time management, leadership, and inter personal skills people need help with

I think our kid is there. We tease her that she now gets paid for going to meetings and occasionally explaining to engineers that she wii not sign off their order for $56k worth of stuff because the balance of their budget is $12k. (They often seem baffled by that.)

We tease her because we have no idea what she actually does, but it almost always involves meetings.

 

[talitali]

As I get older, I also believe I have some level of ADHD as well. But I have always been a very structured person and I think that’s how I dealt with it and was able to hide it.

The older I get the worse it’s getting and I’m struggling to keep to routines. I am really struggling right now with getting stuff done.

That said, some things are age related too. I’m now 47 and some days I have a memory like a sieve. I can’t remember anything. This has been a huge problem in the last year in particular. Memory is associated with menopause too, gee, that’s another treat. I’m technically perimenopause at this point.