Black lives, blue lives, guns, terrorists, psychos, 2nd amendment...

[Spiky Bugger]

Thanks for the kind words. It wasn't just my dad, it was also his siblings. Most of the cousins did not carry that legacy into their lives. My mom was loving and kind, yet dominated by my dad. Her main influence was the old saw that men are after one thing and they will call you names if you give in and other names if you don't. My sister and I have joked about how lucky we were to get married since we were taught to hate men. As for those experiences, they've made me stronger. The outcome has been good even if the lessons were hard.

When, in my forties, I started to gain weight, my redneck MIL from Baja Indiana, explained to me that it was "because Mexican women are such good cooks." Everyone else in that pathetic town told me I "looked just like Pat," who was the ONLY other Latina in the county. We didn't look at all alike.

Meanwhile, when MIL and her caregiver were harassing MiniSue about a gift of perfume she had received from a male friend, insisting that he must be her boyfriend, she finally said, "I'm not his girlfriend. He doesn't HAVE girlfriends. He's gay." The caregiver chick said, "Well! We don't cotton to that type around here."

I couldn't stand it any longer and replied, "You know, driving into town the first thing you see is that single wide with the flat brown paint sitting on the first corner...so we pretty much figured you didn't have any gay guys on the Zoning Commission...and now we know to not even TRY to get a haircut while we're here."

Ignorant sluts....


(Oops...this was supposed to go with the generational racism comment.)

 

[k9ophile]

When, in my forties, I started to gain weight, my redneck MIL from Baja Indiana, explained to me that it was "because Mexican women are such good cooks." Everyone else in that pathetic town told me I "looked just like Pat," who was the ONLY other Latina in the county. We didn't at all alike.

Meanwhile, when MIL and her caregiver were harassing MiniSue about a gift of perfume she had received from a male friend, insisting that he must be her boyfriend, she finally said, "I'm not his girlfriend. He doesn't HAVE girlfriends. He's gay." The caregiver chick said, "Well! We don't cotton to that type around here."

I couldn't stand it any longer and replied, "You know, driving into town the first thing you see is that single wide with the flat brown paint sitting on the first corner...so we pretty much figured you didn't have any gay guys on the Zoning Commission...and now we know to not even TRY to get a haircut while we're here."

Ignorant sluts....


(Oops...this was supposed to go with the generational racism comment.)

But they really don't know how they come off... Hence the comment from my aunt about my cousin's dark skinned boyfriend: it's okay, he's not a Mexican, he's an Egyptian. The fact that NW Ohio gets a lot of snow is only one reason I refuse to move back. I get along so much better with my relatives from a distance.

I have to love my mom though. Due to strange and financial reasons, I ended up sharing an apartment with a guy. This came to my parents attention when they asked me who I was living with. I was not going to lie so I told them, "Eric". My dad called me a gutter snipe whore"; my mom said, "Well at least he doesn't borrow your clothes."

 

[Spiky Bugger]

But they really don't know how they come off... Hence the comment from my aunt about my cousin's dark skinned boyfriend: it's okay, he's not a Mexican, he's an Egyptian. The fact that NW Ohio gets a lot of snow is only one reason I refuse to move back. I get along so much better with my relatives from a distance.

I have to love my mom though. Due to strange and financial reasons, I ended up sharing an apartment with a guy. This came to my parents attention when they asked me who I was living with. I was not going to lie so I told them, "Eric". My dad called me a gutter snipe whore"; my mom said, "Well at least he doesn't borrow your clothes."

LOL...re clothes!

When we bought this house, the seller's agent gave us the standard, "The gardeners are Mexican...but they're very nice." (Because, I suppose, most Mexicans are NOT very nice...lol)

I once had a landlord, superintendent of a good sized school district that served a variety of minority students, who described as neighbor as "well, she's Mexican you know, so I don't know how fast she'll learn this..." I interrupted him and said, " Bob, I'm Mexican and I'm one of the smartest people you've ever met...now go ahead and finish your sentence." Later he mentioned that his wife, a school nurse in the same district, retired early because she was tired of picking lice out of picaninny children's hair." I said, "Lucky kids." But I really don't think it registered.

I used to ignore it...but I got tired of that.

(I did the same thing with FAT comments. Once, when I visited wearing maybe a size 1x or so, the FIRST thing my MIL said was, "Have you seen your sister-in-law? She's a size 7 now." I could NOT help myself so I asked, "And how's she doing on that GED?" I am such a bitch.). (But I've learned to accept myself...lol)

Oh, yeah...once MiniSue and I went to visit...dead of winter at Christmas...had to travel that last couple hours via bus...because MIL had bern DXd with cancer. A relative was picking us up at the depot. Relative asked how she would recognize us. MIL said, "Just look for the real pretty girl there with a fat Mexican Woman." MIL told the story twice, larger audience each time, and I didn't laugh. The third time...bigger audience..."Wow! That was a clever description. What else could you have said? 'Look for the only college graduate in the family?' How would THAT work?" I just couldn't NOT respond. As far as I know, tbat was her last time telling that story.

 

[Charris]

I thought Diana said she was 6'3 .. I guess I didn't pay attention

I did too. Lol

 

[DSRIGGS]

I did too. Lol

Well clearly since you and I agree that means we were corect!

Winning!

 

[kirstabelle]

But the truth of the matter is the majority of this crap happens just because they are "BLACK". NO OTHER REASON WHAT SO EVER. YOU WILL NEVER EVER TRULY BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND. People will continue to make up freaking excuses as to why this crap is happening and will continue to allow it to happen.

As a white woman in an 8 yr relationship with a black man, I can tell you that I 100% agree with this. At first I was guilty of trying to explain why something must have happened. I couldn't accept that so many in society could be this way.
Now I realise, it is more often than not for NO other reason than a person is black.

 

[Jbandmmomma]

@Charris -you're right. we can't know what it's like to be in your shoes. But we can pick up our collective selves and stand up for justice for all people along with you.

as a related aside, a dear grad school friend is doing a summer writing getaway in a small town in the deep South. She (a 44 year old woman) needed feminine supplies one evening recently and went to the only local store. They had closed 20 minutes before my friend arrived. Local cops pull in to parking lot and harass my friend, including some of the treatment you described your daughter's SO receiving. Her crime? Being gay. She is large-framed, tall, has a very short hair cut, wears men's cut clothing and sports bras for comfort.

It happens everywhere, and not just based on skin color. People are people and humans do not behave with decency anymore.

 

[Jbandmmomma]

@k9ophile, I was a recipient of the polar opposite approach to parenting. I was raised in a household with a perspective that the more different one's culture, background, or appearance was from my own, the more interesting that person would be and the more I had to learn/gain from getting to know him/her.

One of my dad's proudest moments was when he marched for Brown v. Board of Education. He was the first to step up as faculty sponsor when a GLBT group formed. He gave me safety tips rather than trying to discourage my attendance when as a college student I decided to protest a KKK rally. Last week when we were in NYC together walking back to our hotel from dinner, my 76 year old mom sat down on the sidewalk to be at eye level when sharing a conversation with a homeless person...

@hilary1617 - what an awesome example your parents were! I pray that I am able to teach my children respect for others.

 

[kirstabelle]

@Charris -you're right. we can't know what it's like to be in your shoes. But we can pick up our collective selves and stand up for justice for all people along with you.

as a related aside, a dear grad school friend is doing a summer writing getaway in a small town in the deep South. She (a 44 year old woman) needed feminine supplies one evening recently and went to the only local store. They had closed 20 minutes before my friend arrived. Local cops pull in to parking lot and harass my friend, including some of the treatment you described your daughter's SO receiving. Her crime? Being gay. She is large-framed, tall, has a very short hair cut, wears men's cut clothing and sports bras for comfort.

It happens everywhere, and not just based on skin color. People are people and humans do not behave with decency anymore.

Disgusting. Would they have shot her though?

 

[k9ophile]

Ugh! I'm not a fan of necro-posting, yet here's one study FWIW.
http://www.nber.org/papers/w22399

 

[JackieOnLine]

That was a clever description. What else could you have said? 'Look for the only college graduate in the family?' How would THAT work?" I just couldn't NOT respond. As far as I know, tbat was her last time telling that story.