Week 2 of Pre-op diet.

[SJB41976]

Before I get into my pre-op diet woes, I wanted to share that I am getting iron infusions while I am in the hospital after surgery, before I am released. I was excited to hear about that and very impressed with the NP who, once she heard my ferritin was at 6, she told me we would likely do that.

Onto pre-op diet. Yeah, it is what you think it is...blah. I'm eating bari life "food". Most of it is ok, but there have been a couple of things where I wanted to gag. It's all fake food, to me. Artificial sweeteners, chemicals...you know, good stuff, fake stuff that makes it taste palatable.. The last week I am liquid only. I'm thinking my liver will be good and shrunken by February 29th.

I went out with my hubby Valentines weekend and had a wonderful meal at this really great farm to table restaurant. Everything is organic and they try to buy locally. I thoroughly enjoyed my meal without a bit of guilt. It was four courses but the portions were really small and I was STUFFED. But it got me through the first week of pre-op diet because I kept saying "saturday I get real food".

I don't have a lot of energy.. low carb, no fat, and 800 calories a day. I've gotten sick, sinus crud. So, I am doing a lot of laying around. Last week was the worst, this week I am kind of used to it.

One thing that I had either forgotten or didn't do last time is go to public outings. Um, that sucks. Food is everywhere and even though I planned for it, that food is tempting. I only have 1 more official public outing this saturday at a baby shower. I'm attempting to plan how I am going to handle traveling with a friend for 2 hours one way, going to a shower and coming back without her knowing something is up. I may just tell her since she is a good friend and she knows about my previous surgery. She's a worrier and honestly, I told her afterwards last surgery time because it just adds stress to me for her to be freaking out. The only reason I told her then (and we were much closer then) was because she noticed how I was eating and thought I had an eating disorder. So, it's that kind of friend. lol.

I am being way more open about this surgery than I was last time. A lot of that has to do with my healing from shame. It's a big deal to me. And I was thinking last night when the fear of failure creeped in and how all these people, albeit safe, will know if it doesn't "work". I told myself I had nothing to be ashamed of and I wasn't a failure. It really isn't about that anymore. I refuse to live in this self-imposed shame that I have heaped on myself for years. I thought that was kind of a great, big deal. I am definitely not telling the world, but I also know that shame has been a big part of me keeping surgeries quiet in the past.

I am rambling on, I know. Thanks for listening. 13 days to go. I can do this.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Good for you moving on from this shame that you have no reason to feel. You know the surgery failed you and not the other way around. I sounds like you have made a big step and I am happy for you. Life is hard enough without head games so you are on the right track and will soon be a loser on the bench of the dark side!

 

[Clematis]

I can do this.

You betcha! I am cheering you on.

As for the pre-op diet... you've been on 101 diets in your life. they all suck. this is just another one. Just close your eyes and think of england (what Victorian mothers told their daughters on their wedding night). it will soon be over. AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO DIET LIKE THAT AGAIN.

I'm glad you are getting rid of the feelings of shame. You are taking control and shame has no place in your new life.

 

[southernlady]

Thanks for listening. 13 days to go. I can do this.

Yes, you can...this part is NOT forever altho while doing this it FEELS like it.

 

[SJB41976]

thanks everyone!

 

[Jen-2]

I feel you. The pre-op diet sucks as does the initial recovery after surgery. Just keep your eye on the prize. You've got this!

 

[bearmom]

Ushgh. The pre-op diet blows. Just think ahead to when there will be food choices like prime rib and bearnaise sauce without restriction. For me, switching from the diet mentality of "should never eat that again" to "just wait for now, and then I'll be free" made a HUGE difference.

Living with the DS I've learned to shed the shame. It's not just self imposed, but I got many messages from media and everywhere else, that now don't resonate for me. I hope you have an easy time letting go as well.

Hang in there, you are going a great job.

 

[Revision]

the pre-op diet sucks....but it is a chance to remember everything you've been through to get to this point and rejoice that you will never have to punish yourself that way again.....best of luck!