So, this happened ...

[DianaCox]

Copying my FB posting to save time:

I went to Phoenix for four days, to get out of the RV and to scope out the areas where Charles and I might be interested in living when we move there at the end of the month, since our plans for going full-time RVing have to be put on hold for a variety of reasons. I stayed with Diane Lawrence, my comadre-to-be (our kids Jessie Erazo and Chris Lawrence are engaged), who lives with her husband Arnie in PebbleCreek, a 55+ community west of Phoenix in Goodyear. Charles and I had already decided, after visiting them last year, that we were not interested in living in PebbleCreek - it was very nice, but too many rules and the homes are a little out of our price range. Plus, the real dealbreaker was you can't park your RV on your property. But we liked the area.

Wednesday Diane and I went out with a real estate agent I found through Diane, and looked at some homes in areas I have been eyeing, where we could park our RV on the property. There were some nice ones, but the least of them were about 25% more than we wanted to spend, and still needed a lot of work.

But more than that, I realized that all of those houses would leave us very isolated - Charles doesn't work outside of taking care of me, I work remotely (on my computer, usually from my bed), and we aren't religious. We aren't "joiners" either. The only ties we would have to the new community would be Diane and Arnie, and we can't be dependent on them for our social life - and we can't independently join in the activities they are involved in with at PebbleCreek.

So I decided to look at homes available in PebbleCreek. And almost immediately, I found this house. And after a couple of days of negotiations, and sight unseen by Charles, we are under contract on it. It needs a lot of work (PAINT!! UGH!!), but it was built in 2003, and the kitchen can be gutted and redone with little guilt about "wasting" recent remodeling that is not my taste. (Why do people do that before selling their house? It is a turn-off to me to see new investment in furnishings that I hate, but they expect me to pay for.) Plus a few other things that can be changed and personalized (that back wall with the stupid big window and deep inset shelves and no proper place to put the TV).

One of the reasons we are not going to be able to full-time RV (besides money) now, is that my father's living situation was becoming untenable. The woman he lives with (and has been in a relationship with, including taking care of her - shopping and cooking for her, driving her everywhere as her vision deteriorated) decided that his memory issues were becoming more than she wanted to deal with. The last time we spoke, about 6 weeks ago, they were discussing applying for VA assisted living places for him as a backup plan for when things get worse (she plans to move into a posh AL place). I was pretty horrified they were doing that, but I figured by the time they got to that point, which they assured me was many months away at least, we would have a house somewhere for him to live with us.

When i called my father today to tell him we found a house, which has a setup that is amenable to us living together (the master is in a different wing from the guest bedroom, which has its own ensuite bath with walk-in shower), he told me that they had finalized plans for him to be moved into a VA assisted living place in THREE MONTHS - IN FRESNO!!! That is HUNDREDS of miles from San Jose, in the middle of BFE, where he knows nobody, would have no family around - completely ISOLATED. When I told him we would have a place for him to live with us in a matter of a month, he was so relieved.

I am so angry though, that this was done behind my back. I can't wait to get him away from her - I think some of his memory issues arise from the stress of her hectoring him about his memory lapses, and I think once we get him away from her, and hanging out with new people - people HE chooses (none of his friends passed muster with her when they met, so now his only friends are those who are HER friends), and into all the activities that are available at PebbleCreek, he will rally mentally.

So - it appears that things are moving along, albeit not along the path that we had originally planned. It is hard to be flexible, but I think we're making the right decision. And there is an RV club at the community, so we will immediately join that group (there is an RV lot in the community where people can store their RVs), and hopefully find kindred free spirits.

(But we still have an out - we have to get a home inspection, and we have until the 29th to pull out and get our deposit back. We are having the inspection on the 29th, the day after we get to Phoenix, after driving from Aptos after having a last Thanksgiving with our kids. If Charles is concerned, we can back out.)

http://www.realtor.com/realestatean...th-Ave_Goodyear_AZ_85395_M17571-95136#photo17

This is the house plan (except this house is mirror image, and the front of the house has been extended by making the garage deeper, and adding the ensuite to the second bedroom between the guest bath and bedroom):

Kitchen is a gut, and I want the interior walls rearranged - open it up, make a larger free-standing island open at both ends out of that peninsula, and open to the dining area.

 

[k9ophile]

I hope all works out for the house and especially for your father. It is such a challenge to deal with parents and if he's close by all the better for you and him.

Buckets and buckets of paint for sure. I probably would only change the paint because I like the floor plan as is.

 

[JuliaDS]

Copying my FB posting to save time:

I went to Phoenix for four days, to get out of the RV and to scope out the areas where Charles and I might be interested in living when we move there at the end of the month, since our plans for going full-time RVing have to be put on hold for a variety of reasons. I stayed with Diane Lawrence, my comadre-to-be (our kids Jessie Erazo and Chris Lawrence are engaged), who lives with her husband Arnie in PebbleCreek, a 55+ community west of Phoenix in Goodyear. Charles and I had already decided, after visiting them last year, that we were not interested in living in PebbleCreek - it was very nice, but too many rules and the homes are a little out of our price range. Plus, the real dealbreaker was you can't park your RV on your property. But we liked the area.

Wednesday Diane and I went out with a real estate agent I found through Diane, and looked at some homes in areas I have been eyeing, where we could park our RV on the property. There were some nice ones, but the least of them were about 25% more than we wanted to spend, and still needed a lot of work.

But more than that, I realized that all of those houses would leave us very isolated - Charles doesn't work outside of taking care of me, I work remotely (on my computer, usually from my bed), and we aren't religious. We aren't "joiners" either. The only ties we would have to the new community would be Diane and Arnie, and we can't be dependent on them for our social life - and we can't independently join in the activities they are involved in with at PebbleCreek.

So I decided to look at homes available in PebbleCreek. And almost immediately, I found this house. And after a couple of days of negotiations, and sight unseen by Charles, we are under contract on it. It needs a lot of work (PAINT!! UGH!!), but it was built in 2003, and the kitchen can be gutted and redone with little guilt about "wasting" recent remodeling that is not my taste. (Why do people do that before selling their house? It is a turn-off to me to see new investment in furnishings that I hate, but they expect me to pay for.) Plus a few other things that can be changed and personalized (that back wall with the stupid big window and deep inset shelves and no proper place to put the TV).

One of the reasons we are not going to be able to full-time RV (besides money) now, is that my father's living situation was becoming untenable. The woman he lives with (and has been in a relationship with, including taking care of her - shopping and cooking for her, driving her everywhere as her vision deteriorated) decided that his memory issues were becoming more than she wanted to deal with. The last time we spoke, about 6 weeks ago, they were discussing applying for VA assisted living places for him as a backup plan for when things get worse (she plans to move into a posh AL place). I was pretty horrified they were doing that, but I figured by the time they got to that point, which they assured me was many months away at least, we would have a house somewhere for him to live with us.

When i called my father today to tell him we found a house, which has a setup that is amenable to us living together (the master is in a different wing from the guest bedroom, which has its own ensuite bath with walk-in shower), he told me that they had finalized plans for him to be moved into a VA assisted living place in THREE MONTHS - IN FRESNO!!! That is HUNDREDS of miles from San Jose, in the middle of BFE, where he knows nobody, would have no family around - completely ISOLATED. When I told him we would have a place for him to live with us in a matter of a month, he was so relieved.

I am so angry though, that this was done behind my back. I can't wait to get him away from her - I think some of his memory issues arise from the stress of her hectoring him about his memory lapses, and I think once we get him away from her, and hanging out with new people - people HE chooses (none of his friends passed muster with her when they met, so now his only friends are those who are HER friends), and into all the activities that are available at PebbleCreek, he will rally mentally.

So - it appears that things are moving along, albeit not along the path that we had originally planned. It is hard to be flexible, but I think we're making the right decision. And there is an RV club at the community, so we will immediately join that group (there is an RV lot in the community where people can store their RVs), and hopefully find kindred free spirits.

(But we still have an out - we have to get a home inspection, and we have until the 29th to pull out and get our deposit back. We are having the inspection on the 29th, the day after we get to Phoenix, after driving from Aptos after having a last Thanksgiving with our kids. If Charles is concerned, we can back out.)

http://www.realtor.com/realestatean...th-Ave_Goodyear_AZ_85395_M17571-95136#photo17

This is the house plan (except this house is mirror image, and the front of the house has been extended by making the garage deeper, and adding the ensuite to the second bedroom between the guest bath and bedroom):

Kitchen is a gut, and I want the interior walls rearranged - open it up, make a larger free-standing island open at both ends out of that peninsula, and open to the dining area.

Amazing how things 'work out'! Glad you were able to find something to accommodate your father. The layout looks ideal with sufficient communal as well as private spaces. Just a bit of tweaking to suit your personal tastes. The community situation sounds workable as well. Congrats!

 

[DianaCox]

I think he will be happy there, for as long as his health will allow. There is a Jewish group which seems to be mostly cultural rather than religious, as well as lifelong learning lectures, a pinochle club (he used to play with my mom and her father). And lots of widows.

 

[JackieOnLine]

that is a nice house, I love the shot from the street. real curb appeal.

your Dad is so lucky he has you, Diana, and vice versa

I am so angry though, that this was done behind my back. I can't wait to get him away from her - I think some of his memory issues arise from the stress of her hectoring him about his memory lapses,

gah! I hate that.

 

[southernlady]

I like the layout.

Paint can be cured...and I have seen some hideous colors in all my house hunting over the years. Most of those aren't bad, just very bold.

 

[DianaCox]

The dark bedroom and den are like dungeons - gotta be fixed soonish. Unless we make the den the TV room.

We can live in it unchanged for a while, while making our grand plans (and saving up for them). Which is ideal. And yes, there's no pool or hot tub - the latter can be fixed, and the former is unnecessary, as there are fabulous rec facilities. http://cdn.robson.com/wp-content/uploads/PC-Amenities-Overview.pdf

In the meantime, Dad has texted and called me to tell my his "partner" - who is pretty wealthy, let me add - is going to call me to demand my help in paying his upcoming $2K dental bill (he needs a tooth pulled and an implant). I told him to tell her NOT to call me to ask me about money, and that if she does it anyway, I WILL HANG UP ON HER.

She gives cheap Jews a bad name.

(As you all know, I'm Jewish, so I can say that. There is a phrase in Yiddish "A shanda fur die goy" that fits this situation - it means that a Jew does something shameful that shames ALL Jews in the eyes of non-Jews, especially when it confirms an anti-Semitic stereotype. Like Bernie Madoff.)

 

[JackieOnLine]

that link is pretty impressive: 20 Pickleball Courts!

 

[DianaCox]

OK, so it's now almost Monday - we close on Wednesday, after much dickering about this, that and the other. I will be happy to get this part over and done with (seller and his agent have been DICKS). We are PROBABLY going to be able to move in on Wednesday, or at least sleep there - though it would be nice to know if the bastards are going to leave SHEETS AND BLANKETS for the Eastern King bed that we bought from them for temporary use, until our furniture gets moved (pickup scheduled for Jan 5th; 6-16 delivery window (!)), and we buy a bedroom suite (I've found one I like, but our Comfortaire mattress is in storage). Why won't they answer that question? I don't want to have to buy new bedding 4 days before Xmas. And we asked them to PLEASE call the cable company and give them a date to shut off the internet and cable and phone - because the cable company can't schedule the installation until AFTER they know it will be shut off, and it's the frickin' THURSDAY BEFORE XMAS!! Assholes.

But, we are SO looking forward to moving in, and letting the kitties run free. They are frustrated with the small space and boringness of their current life (as are we). They are going to freak out when we let them loose.

Tomorrow, they get groomed (bellies shaved and nails clipped). While that is going on, we will sign up for our new insurance - homeowners, car, RV and umbrella policy. Then we pick up a couple of poo canoes from PetCo (giant litter boxes) (they are currently sharing one "largish" box that has to be cleaned multiple times/day.

Tuesday, we have to hike up 25 miles to the title company office (the money has already been transferred into the escrow account) to sign the papers. It is near the closest Macy's (look at their furniture, and bedding, and gifts) and a furniture store that has samples of the furniture we want to buy - I want to see what the quality it is before we fork over money to an online seller.

Wednesday, I hope we have the escrow papers in hand, so we can get the keys and the gate passes into the community. We will move the cats to the house, set up their new food, water and poop stations, and start bringing over the contents of our closets, bathroom and fridge/freezer. And the dishes and pots and pans, and TP and paper towels, and the COFFEE POT. And my pills, pillows, and electronic gear. We need to also arrange for parking the RV in the parking lot at the community, though we are paid through the 31st at the RV resort.

I can set up my computers, and charging station, and get connected to PROPER high speed UNLIMITED cable internet (been using a hotspot for the last month). I WILL HAVE CABLE TV AGAIN (instead of an intermittent DISH subscription borrowed from a friend that goes through a tablet that drains faster than it can be recharged when casting to the TV, and which can be overridden by THEIR TV watching choices.

My daughter and her fiance' are coming for the 24th - 27th, but staying with his parents (our homes are about 3 miles apart). On the 30th, my daughter is having major surgery to remove her uterine fibroids and probably fallopian tubes, in increase the likelihood that any future IVF with her stored embryos and eggs, if necessary, will result in a pregnancy a few months later. The plot with the STBILs to get them to visit often is evolving as planned.

Dad - ugh. The situation was more complicated and convoluted that it appeared. It seems that since I was willing to save him from being rusticated to the Fresno CalVet home in BFE, suddenly, it is NOT necessary for him to go there, and she is arranging for more help for both of them in her condo - and "claims" to be rethinking the plan to bring him with her to assisted living when it comes to that. I don't believe it for a minute - she's going to find some excuse that he will need to come live with us, which is FINE with me. But in the meantime, they both claim to want to stay together - for now.

The realtor link is dead, but you can still see it here on trulia:
https://www.trulia.com/homes/Arizon...8-3191-N-150th-Ave-Goodyear-AZ-85395#photo-10

Charles leaves for SJ by air on Jan 3rd, to get the stuff in storage ready to move. He will drive our other car back. And then the fun begins!

 

[hilary1617]

Glad you'll have a new place to hang your hat this week. So exciting. We just bought an entire set of basic sheets for about $50 at Target for my parents' visit (as they will be staying in Hannah's room and she currently has a rainbow unicorn theme going on that would make anyone over the age of 10 dizzy). So, if you do turn out to be sans linens on Wednesday eve, give Target a try. Lots going on ahead, but this is a good week. Take a second to celebrate your new digs!!!! All the best!

 

[JackieOnLine]

I hope the closing goes well, so sorry you have to deal with so many jerks. including your Dads SO !

 

[bearmom]

Paint, kitchen (I LOVE picking new counters and cabinets) and a few new windows to fix the dungeony=ness of the rooms you mentioned, and that house is pretty perfect. I also like the less obvious stuff in most of the 55+ type community houses, like wider doors, hallways, roomier tub / showers, usually with low rise in case there is ever walker/wheel chair access needed. Stuff that may never be necessary, but the extra room is just nice. I'm so envious of the stuff to do in some of the 55+ communities. I'm not sure if I have to only wait till I'm 55, or till hubby is as well (not wanting to wait that long) but there is one here with an olympic sized pool, full wood and metal shops, and clubs for every interest. If I haven't made my own utopia by then, it may be an alternative.

Also had to laugh when I saw the colors in those pics. That is the EXACT same color group that was in the last house I bought (and also had to repaint). Every single color. I doubt you'll bother to do the painting yourself, but if you do, use extra primer particularly on the colors that have any red in them. It was like painting in a nightmare house with blood continually showing through the paint. We used good Valspar paint, but red pigment is a bitch.

Even though this may not have been your ultimate plan, it looks like your turning a few lemons into a kickass margarita. I'm also impressed with the length you are going to to accommodate your dad. Most people can't / won't. You're a good daughter.

 

[southernlady]

Also had to laugh when I saw the colors in those pics. That is the EXACT same color group that was in the last house I bought (and also had to repaint). Every single color. I doubt you'll bother to do the painting yourself, but if you do, use extra primer particularly on the colors that have any red in them. It was like painting in a nightmare house with blood continually showing through the paint. We used good Valspar paint, but red pigment is a bitch.

The guy who painted our "Peter Rabbit" room used a primer called Zinsser
It is oil based but you can use latex over it. Used it and ONE coat of paint to cover the Peter Rabbit mural. Now granted, most of the mural was blues and greens but there were spots or red and orange in the mural. Covered it completely.

 

[DianaCox]

Yellow/orange/red are all bad to cover. I will keep the Zinsser in mind - thanks!

@bearmom - only one of the residents needs to be over 55. My adult kids could live with us if we needed them to. Just nobody under 18 (for longer than 2 months at a time). Apparently, one of our STBIL's friends just ended up with custody of a grandchild - and had to move out (they rented their house in the community out, and are renting a place nearby).

 

[CaraOC]

Sounds like big things are happening Diana!! So happy for you. Prior to moving to SoCal I lived in the east side of town in Gilbert Az. Lots of RV places around there in the foothills of the Superstition Mountains. We could have been neighbors!! Litchfield park is very nice area too.