Spiky Bugger
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 6,310
They hate me…or at least they hate what I do…and want me to change even though that’s unlikely.
My sister wants me to stop telling her how to bank online.“ She’s 19 months younger than I, and a dinosaur. For example, she will relate a story…she paid off her car loan and needed to stop the auto pymts from her checking account. But the customer service rep she talked to on the phone stopped only the next payment. So I said something like, go into your account online and do it yourself.
Damn me! There I am “telling her how to bank” again. (Because other than that car pymt, she pays ALL her bills by writing checks, putting checks into envelopes, putting a stamp on the envelope and then clothespinning the envelope to her mailbox so that USPS picks it up…even though we have had a swarm of thieves going door-to-door stealing mail, sometimes even breaking mailboxes.) In case you haven’t met her, she is the woman in front of you in the grocery store checkout line who, when the checker hits the TOTAL key, reaches into her purse to get her checkbook. I said she should put it on a credit card, pay the card off at the end of the month and collect cash back. She corrected me. Credit cards are what you use when you don’t have enough cash to buy what you want…she doesn’t buy things she can’t afford…and if I don’t understand that, well…
And then MiniSue. She wants me to have “a social life,” although she will allow exceptions for COVID-19 prevention. Old people, she tells me, get depressed and dementia and dead when they don’t have an active social life. I’m pretty sure that all the articles she’s read were written by NOT-old people.
A woman trained in clinical psych once told me that, as we age, we OFTEN eliminate many of the cards on our “mental Rolodex.” At some point, we realize that the REASON we interacted with “Steve” and “Christine” was that we lived across the street from them and had daughters in the same GATE program and on the same swim team and such. But we moved. And the kids grew up and moved away. And they moved. And then you realize that after THOSE connections are lost, you not only have nothing in common, you are actually on opposite sides of most social/political issues. So maybe just kind of “fading away” is a GOOD thing. (It is in my book.)
While at one point, I considered a TaiChi class at a city park, my health issues/WEIRD sleeping patterns would interfere with my attendance and with where’s-the-restroom issues if I DO get there. Same problem with tutoring. In fact, ANY appointment requires that I start the day before, wrangling my Uro and GI issues, and hoping I don’t awaken bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 2:45 am unable to get back to sleep until 6:00 am or so.
So my sister wants to tell me what went wrong, but if I tell her how to keep it from happening again, I’m the bitch. Or she just hates me. And my kid, IMHO, doesn’t really “get” that I actually am disabled. She must think I like sitting here 24/7. Or she just hates me, too.
If you already hate me, please say so now, because I’d rather deal with this all on one day, if you don’t mind.
My sister wants me to stop telling her how to bank online.“ She’s 19 months younger than I, and a dinosaur. For example, she will relate a story…she paid off her car loan and needed to stop the auto pymts from her checking account. But the customer service rep she talked to on the phone stopped only the next payment. So I said something like, go into your account online and do it yourself.
Damn me! There I am “telling her how to bank” again. (Because other than that car pymt, she pays ALL her bills by writing checks, putting checks into envelopes, putting a stamp on the envelope and then clothespinning the envelope to her mailbox so that USPS picks it up…even though we have had a swarm of thieves going door-to-door stealing mail, sometimes even breaking mailboxes.) In case you haven’t met her, she is the woman in front of you in the grocery store checkout line who, when the checker hits the TOTAL key, reaches into her purse to get her checkbook. I said she should put it on a credit card, pay the card off at the end of the month and collect cash back. She corrected me. Credit cards are what you use when you don’t have enough cash to buy what you want…she doesn’t buy things she can’t afford…and if I don’t understand that, well…
And then MiniSue. She wants me to have “a social life,” although she will allow exceptions for COVID-19 prevention. Old people, she tells me, get depressed and dementia and dead when they don’t have an active social life. I’m pretty sure that all the articles she’s read were written by NOT-old people.
A woman trained in clinical psych once told me that, as we age, we OFTEN eliminate many of the cards on our “mental Rolodex.” At some point, we realize that the REASON we interacted with “Steve” and “Christine” was that we lived across the street from them and had daughters in the same GATE program and on the same swim team and such. But we moved. And the kids grew up and moved away. And they moved. And then you realize that after THOSE connections are lost, you not only have nothing in common, you are actually on opposite sides of most social/political issues. So maybe just kind of “fading away” is a GOOD thing. (It is in my book.)
While at one point, I considered a TaiChi class at a city park, my health issues/WEIRD sleeping patterns would interfere with my attendance and with where’s-the-restroom issues if I DO get there. Same problem with tutoring. In fact, ANY appointment requires that I start the day before, wrangling my Uro and GI issues, and hoping I don’t awaken bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 2:45 am unable to get back to sleep until 6:00 am or so.
So my sister wants to tell me what went wrong, but if I tell her how to keep it from happening again, I’m the bitch. Or she just hates me. And my kid, IMHO, doesn’t really “get” that I actually am disabled. She must think I like sitting here 24/7. Or she just hates me, too.
If you already hate me, please say so now, because I’d rather deal with this all on one day, if you don’t mind.
