Out of Control

[-Flo-]

I had surgery on April 11th and I have seemingly lost all control. I was a revision from VSG to DS. My sleeve had an area that was distended, so Dr. Greenbaum resleeved that area. I am so embarrassed and disappointed to say that my eating has been ridiculous. I am having a hard time sticking to the post op diet progression. I am supposed to still be on pureed, but I have been eating regular food and just chewing it really well for about a week now. But the last few days have been bad. I went to McDonalds and had a double cheeseburger twice. I have had soda. Today I ate out three times! WTF I went out with the family for breakfast. I had eggs, bacon, potato hash, pancakes and oj. Then for lunch I went to KFC and had hot chicken and a biscuit. And dinner was pizza and like 3 big glasses of coke which I totally drank as I ate. I can't believe I am doing this to myself. I want to stop but I feel unable to. Granted the portions are not big but just the fact that I am eating like this so soon after a major surgery is scaring the crap out of me. I'm really afraid that I am going to cause major damage. I don't know how to stop myself.

 

[Pattycake813]

It sounds to me like your support system may need some education.

Maybe it would be good to take your family to an appointment with a NUT so they can understand the implications of this soft of things and help you succeed.

Other than that it is just battling will power . when I want to eat something I shouldn't I imagine my sleeve bursting open at the
staple line and it keeps me in check.

 

[DSRIGGS]

You aren't going to cause any damage to your anatomy by eating well chewed foods, but 3 glasses of coke is not doing yourself any favors. Ton of absorbed garbage with that choice. I rarely drink soda at 2.5 years out, as I don't really like it anymore and the carbonation bothers me. As much as I am anti extreme carb restricting you are way too early to be eating pizza, biscuits and coke. You need to stop these bad habits now if you want to lose the weight you want to lose.

Solid food is fine but you really want to look at the choices you are making. I am not judging, but just telling you what I am sure you already know. Weight loss in a two stage DS is not as easy as a full blown DS in one step son you are really hurting your chances if you keep up with such poor choices.

 

[Larra]

I don't know why you are so out of control, and it sounds like you don't know either. Get some help, in other words therapy, sooner rather than later. You will feel so much better about yourself, as well as preserve and make the most of this opportunity to lose weight and regain your health. Don't delay.

 

[DianaCox]

This to me calls for an emergency psych appointment.

 

[Marquis Mark]

You did a brave thing by admitting it. That's not an easy thing to do and it's a good sign. If you chewed everything until it was mush I don't think you did any damage. If you had, I think you'd feel it. If the soda was relatively flat, ditto. I also have a bad Diet Coke habit, but I didn't have my first one until I was about three months out. Now, I let them sit for a while before I drink them. Regardless, you're not alone. I'm also a compulsive overeater and it's a struggle. I've been lucky (if you want to call it that) in that, so far, I've been able to get away with more carbs than I though I would, but the weight loss is definitely slowing down.

Anyway, I suspect you know the answer as to what you should do. If not, ask yourself what is the thing you really least want to do (go to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and tell the whole room what you just told us? Tell the doctor? Commit your food each day to a family member (or post it on this board)? The thing you are most resistant to is what you most need to do to break this spiral.

Would you be willing to post exactly what you are going to eat tomorrow on this board and then, report back tomorrow night, and ask "permission" BEFORE you indulge in any variance? I know it sounds crazy but It's just for ONE day. What do you think? Would you be willing to do that? If you don't want to do that publicly, you can PM your food to me. Don't think past tomorrow. We're just talking about 24 hours.

???

 

[-Flo-]

Thank you all for your responses. I know I need psychiatric help. I'm just worried about how much I will need. Before I had the VSG, I had bulimia and needed residential treatment. Up until this point, it has been controlled for years. All the doctors and nutritionists knew about my past history and felt like I was past that and it was safe for surgery. Now, I'm not so sure. Thankfully I haven't purged but this eating is out of control. I'm just afraid that if i tell my therapist she will say I need either inpatient or residential treatment. I'm still going to talk to her, but I'm scared.

 

[DianaCox]

"I'm just afraid that if i tell my therapist she will say I need either inpatient or residential treatment."

Would you say the same thing if you were experiencing symptoms of a DVT or heart attack? If you need inpatient treatment, then you NEED it.

 

[Marquis Mark]

As I said, the thing you're most resistant to doing is what you know know inside you need...

 

[duh_Mom]

oh @-Flo- you know in your heart of hearts that you need to tell someone close to you. I too have an eating disorder and have had massive amounts of therapy for years - years... preop I was in 1:1 therapy and remain there. I have 'advanced' to a maintenance with a monthly check in but know better than to walk away. my life has been crazy lately and have had unhealthy activities around food so that will be the topic of conversation at my next visit.

Saying an eating disorder is gone is like saying an alcoholic/drug addict is cured - not going to happen. Please get to your therapist - someone that is familiar with eating disorders and be totally honest.

how would you respond to me if this were my post - how would you respond to your daughter / son / etc. . . if this were them?

 

[hilary1617]

@-Flo- I agree with everyone above. I hope you go and get the help you need very, very soon. Today!

I assure you that even if you aren't in a good space and it is hard for you to see your own value, you are worth it. Please take good care of you.

 

[newanatomy]

If you were an alcoholic, I would tell you to get to a meeting. So, get to the psychiatrist. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

If you were an alcoholic, I would tell you to get to a meeting. So, get to the psychiatrist. I hope you feel better soon.

This.


And...If you saw a loved one doing with pills or booze what you are doing with food...that is, killing yourself...you would get that person help, right?

Get help.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

oh @-Flo- you know in your heart of hearts that you need to tell someone close to you. I too have an eating disorder and have had massive amounts of therapy for years - years... preop I was in 1:1 therapy and remain there. I have 'advanced' to a maintenance with a monthly check in but know better than to walk away. my life has been crazy lately and have had unhealthy activities around food so that will be the topic of conversation at my next visit.

Saying an eating disorder is gone is like saying an alcoholic/drug addict is cured - not going to happen. Please get to your therapist - someone that is familiar with eating disorders and be totally honest.

how would you respond to me if this were my post - how would you respond to your daughter / son / etc. . . if this were them?

And all this time, you were my sane role model. Oh, well.