kirmy
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2014
- Messages
- 748
David pisses me off. He's always "blah blah blah germs", " blah blah blah the dogs will choke and die if you give them bones, toys, non-premasticated food blah blah blah"! Mostly I mock him and do what ever I want pointing out he's wrong about everything and I'm not.
Today I bought bribery dog treats. These are pre-cooked meat bones that can be chewed right down...could be ham but mostly they smelt like preserved anus...might be camel. Anyhow I made all three dogs promise to worship me and neglect Mr Perfect pet owner all night. I left all contentedly chewing said bones on the kitchen floor radiating love.
It was ominously quiet for a house with two Jack Russels and a baby bulldog. I surmised that a) everyone was dead b) one dog had killed and was eating the other two or c)there had been a dog napping incident. It is too cold to get out of bed so I screamed lovingly for David to do reconnaissance from my bed and net flicks reviere. More silence then Mr Perfect pet owner marched into the room and demanded that I "come here now". Oh FFS!
I was unprepared for the carnage.
Myrtle was standing in a pile of predigested dog biscuits and home made dog food quickly eating it before I approached. It was as if she had started spewing then decided to see if spinning in circles across the entire kitchen would make the experience go a little easier. There was barely a cm without foam and spew.
CSI Spean Bridge aka Mr Perfect pet owner surmised that Myrtle tried to swallow an entire bone in one go there by causing a catastrophic vomiting Catherine wheel of events. He explained this as I dragged the mop and bucket out and rolled up my pajama legs. Myrtle ate her vomit quicker and tap danced through the bigger chunks like Gene Kelly.
FFS!
Today I bought bribery dog treats. These are pre-cooked meat bones that can be chewed right down...could be ham but mostly they smelt like preserved anus...might be camel. Anyhow I made all three dogs promise to worship me and neglect Mr Perfect pet owner all night. I left all contentedly chewing said bones on the kitchen floor radiating love.
It was ominously quiet for a house with two Jack Russels and a baby bulldog. I surmised that a) everyone was dead b) one dog had killed and was eating the other two or c)there had been a dog napping incident. It is too cold to get out of bed so I screamed lovingly for David to do reconnaissance from my bed and net flicks reviere. More silence then Mr Perfect pet owner marched into the room and demanded that I "come here now". Oh FFS!
I was unprepared for the carnage.
Myrtle was standing in a pile of predigested dog biscuits and home made dog food quickly eating it before I approached. It was as if she had started spewing then decided to see if spinning in circles across the entire kitchen would make the experience go a little easier. There was barely a cm without foam and spew.
CSI Spean Bridge aka Mr Perfect pet owner surmised that Myrtle tried to swallow an entire bone in one go there by causing a catastrophic vomiting Catherine wheel of events. He explained this as I dragged the mop and bucket out and rolled up my pajama legs. Myrtle ate her vomit quicker and tap danced through the bigger chunks like Gene Kelly.
FFS!
