@jim1969 As a U of C patient, I can say that it is definitely worthwhile to get through to a visit to one of the surgeons, who are very supportive of doing the right procedure for the patient. And they definitely do the DS and do it well.
My pre-op experience (which was certainly not without frustrations, though proved well worth it in the end) left me with the feeling that since U of C doesn't take self-pay patients, the nurses who respond to general inquiries was that they play a bit of a gatekeeper role; trying to rule out patients that insurance may not cover. They are dealing with large numbers of folks and have a form letter / rigid rule approach. The doctors tended to adopt a very individualized and flexible how-can-we-help approach.
My guess is that with a BMI > 40, the likelihood is that you have sleep apnea or another obesity-related comorbidity of which you are unaware. A sleep study, cardiac study or blood test could make you eligible for insurance coverage...
Wishing you the best!