And another post, since I just saw this comment ...

[DianaCox]

How many of you are or have been in relationships where the guy was the stay-at-home/non-working parent? Or not the primary breadwinner? (I have been most of the time, with both husbands.) What issues have there been in the relationship because of it?

I would have gone insane not working - the few times I was between jobs were mostly horrible for me. Now that I work from home, though - with no kids at home - it has been pretty ideal.

 

[Terri]

My husband was off work about 12 years ago when our son was a baby. My house was much neater and some things got crossed off the honey-do list. On the down side we still paid a caregiver to come take care of our son because DH was busy doing things on the honey-do list. He also only knew how to fix soup and TV dinners. Needless to say I still had to cook after I got home from work.

 

[bearmom]

I was the sole bread winner for a while with my first husband, when he lost his job and went back to school.

It was terrible, but mainly because we had too may irons in the fire, and not enough man hours to get it all done. I was working full time as an accountant then a financial / investment adviser, then coming home and working on houses till late at night, and spending any time on weekends also building. I was mentally tapped after my fist 8-10 hours, so having to go to the build site after my real job to troubleshoot and fight the building inspectors about code because he was too stupid to do it was just grinding me to a nub. I did that for years. It didn't lead to an immediate divorce, but even years later when things were comfortable and back to normal, there was still lingering resentment that never got worked out.

I'd have no issues being the main bread winner, but I'm used to the income we have now. I don't care who earns it, but we have some expensive habits I don't feel like giving up. I actually enjoy working, just not when it's slave-like.

 

[Jbandmmomma]

We moved a year ago, were able to purchase a single-family home. Along with that, my commute tripled in length. My husband's office is 2.5 miles from our house. Our roles during the week have reversed quite a bit. For seven years, I had been the primary caregiver for 3 little kids, as he worked extended hours 5 days a week. Now it's his job to get them ready, out the door, delivered, and picked up at the end of the day. It's been a lesson for both of us and I think we're making it work. The only snag is when one of them get sick. His first instinct is to have me go home and take care of them, because whatever he has going on is important. Well, my job is important too. We're working on it.