Could you recommend something,an article,etc that I could give to my family to read to learn why the DS is the procedure for me? They need to know why this will be different than the gastric bypass from which I regained all my weight. I am going to have to convince them that I can make the necessary changes. I can't tell them to go to hell because they love me and we are close.
Something My Family Could Read to Understand
- Thread starter Barbara
- Start date
marissamast
3X to small in 13 mos. Love my DS
Barbara, you aren't doing this for your family...you are doing this for you.
My mother in law was not on board with my husband's and my decision to have WLS. We listened to her concerns but moved forward anyway. NOW, she is so glad we did it.
My mother in law was not on board with my husband's and my decision to have WLS. We listened to her concerns but moved forward anyway. NOW, she is so glad we did it.
Spiky Bugger
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Don't tell them to go to hell.
Tell them they can find the info on this surgery, that you have already decided that you are going to have, on the internet...and that you love them, too.
Thanks everybody. This is all related to when I was a kid and my parents would weigh me and then sit me on the living room couch and ask why I didn't lose any weight. My father would ask over Andover How can you do this to your mother? Therapy is helping. I'm just very vulnerable where my family is concerned.
Elizabeth N.
Herder of cats
Barb, you are an adult and you are a powerful advocate for vulnerable people. You can advocate for yourself, too. What would help you see yourself as a smart, experienced adult instead of a fat kid?
@Elizabeth N. Therein lies the question. Therapy is helping. I get so scared when I feel vulnerable. I am hurt so easily. Believe me I will address this with my therapist. She really is helping. Thanks Elizabeth for your faith in me. I'll get there!
Spiky Bugger
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I dropped the subject and had the surgery. When my mom hadn't heard from me in two days, she called. (I was only 58, you know.). She told me I sounded like shit. I told her I had just had "surgery to fix the lapband." Not too much to discuss at that point.
ThanksgivingGrrl
Member
@Spiky Bugger Did you have surgery by yourself or did you have someone with you? My mom doesn't seem too crazy about me having the surgery, but she says she doesn't want her daughter having surgery by herself, but I may need to do it by myself (financial reasons) and not sure if it's possible. I have heard of people doing it by themselves if they had to.
@Barbara It's your health. You only have one life to live. Life each day like it's your last. Only you can make the change. Sometimes our family doesn't like what we do, but we do it because it's our lives to live. Most of the time I think family members are just misinformed or uninformed. I hope you are able to do this for yourself.
@Barbara It's your health. You only have one life to live. Life each day like it's your last. Only you can make the change. Sometimes our family doesn't like what we do, but we do it because it's our lives to live. Most of the time I think family members are just misinformed or uninformed. I hope you are able to do this for yourself.
Spiky Bugger
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My husband went with me.
My mother, family friends and best friend begged me not to get it. Just get on the HCG again because I loose so well on it even though I would gain every ounce back. My mama was in the hospital dying the first day my scheduled was scheduled with Juarez. Then I didn't have the 4000 program fee for dr. K. My mom passed and went to glory and due to life insurance $ she left me I was able to affrd it and took that as a sign. Then when I almost died with all the problems since then them same naysayers said see we told you. Your mama didn't want you to have that surgery it was too dangerous. Everyone knows anything that could go wrong since the DS has happened to me. My incision busted open, could not eat, vomiting all the time but guess what knowing what happened to me and knowing it was going to happen to me I'd hop on that table tomorrow and have Dr K do it all again. I did it for me not them. I did it for my kids and my Toot. As long as you are comfortable with your decision don't let anyone discourage you or shame you. It's time for you to be responsible for you. It sucks to hurt your family but it sucks more to be hurting yourself and people walking all over your feelings like you don't matter. Do what's best for you!
Elizabeth N.
Herder of cats
You could probably make it work by yourself here, but it would involve working out some local support for stuff like transportation. If you had to rely on cab or car services to get places, the cost factor would be pretty similar to what it would cost you to bring your mom with you.
If you are here while I'm in the area, I'll be happy to help you get organized, as there are some local Greenbaum DSers and we could work it out. I'll be in Montana during July and August.
ThanksgivingGrrl
Member
@Elizabeth N. See, you are a rockstar! Thank you so much. My mom would like to be there, but she is spread very thin on money with the oilfield in trouble right now, and helping my brother pay his bills. My job isn't paying what it used to, but hopefully it picks up. The most expensive things for me to pay while she would be with me is the hotel and the car rental. I estimated somewhere around $1000 for each. Then I worry about if I was to do it by myself, if things would get stolen out of my hospital room while I was in surgery. I recently read an article about that happening here in a hospital. http://kfor.com/2015/04/03/housekee...of-stealing-credit-cards-from-patient-doctor/ (in case you want to read it). I can be a bit paranoid LOL
Elizabeth N.
Herder of cats
You could securely store your stuff with no problem. That's easily solved.
