Roudoudou
Member
Happy New Year, everyone! I've been meaning to introduce myself on the forum; I've already posted a few times and received some very helpful answers, so thank you to the community for that.
I'm 39, and weight has been a battle in some form or another since I was about 11. I spent 6th and 7th grade battling anorexia, and after being given carte blanche by my well-meaning parents to eat whatever I wanted after that diagnosis, I put on weight until I was about 140 at high school graduation. Of course, I thought I was huge at that size. College brought the freshman 30, and then by senior year I was up to about 220. I didn't realize it at the time, but I have binge eating disorder and food became my go-to comforter of choice when I was happy/sad/lonely/bored/excited/whatever.
I moved to France after graduation, and at the end of four years, had got down to about 190. While there (and weighing about 220), I had to have my gallbladder out and remember lying in the hospitl with tremendous pain thinking, "If only I could always feel like this; I'd never overeat!" Disordered thinking.
Within a year of returning home, I was up to 270, and finally hit a high weight of 306. I was seriously considering getting the sleeve done in Mexico by Dr. Aceves. But I decided to give dieting one more try before going that route. Something clicked in roughly 2011 and I embraced the low carb/high protein diet and within about two years was down to 185. I was so proud of myself, was getting lots of praise from my family and friends, and was nearly ready to say good bye to my Lane Bryant shopping days. Then in 2013, my wonderful Dad unexpectedly passed away. I stayed away from bingeing for a couple months, but one slip led to the whole thing starting over again and since then my weight has creeped back up to 270. It's incredibly frustrating; the low carb thing was HARD but it was working, at least for a while, and I just kick myself for putting the weight back on. I'm sure my story is not unique.
I was part of a 12-step group for compulsive eaters for about three years, but wasn't able to fully embrace the program and stopped attending meetings. I found parts of it really triggering; maybe I just wasn't ready, maybe it just wasn't for me. I know those programs can do a tremendous amount of good for many.
New job, new insurance that covers bariatric surgery. After a lot of research on the boards, I have decided I'd like to get the duodenal switch (after a brief flirtation with the idea of gastric bypass). Found a surgeon in Washington state (Dr. Myur Srikanth) who performs the surgery. Just received the insurance approval yesterday, and surgery is tentatively scheduled for February 16. Upon receiving the news of the approval, I went from joy to "Oh, no, I can't do this!" in about ten seconds flat. All sorts of doubts are popping up. I've been working with a dietitian for the last nine months who has been very helpful in changing my relationship with food, but I do still binge. Not as much as before, not as often as before, but that behavior is still there. I keep thinking that the restriction is going to be my lifeline, coupled with the behavioral changes I've made. But am worried about not being able to comply with the post-surgery requirements, and am also worried about losing my big ol' sugary carby security blanket. I am SICK of being obese. I know that, and I know what I've tried before hasn't worked, or hasn't worked long-term.
So, that's my story! I look forward to getting to know this community, and I am hesitantly looking forward to the candor.
Ann
I'm 39, and weight has been a battle in some form or another since I was about 11. I spent 6th and 7th grade battling anorexia, and after being given carte blanche by my well-meaning parents to eat whatever I wanted after that diagnosis, I put on weight until I was about 140 at high school graduation. Of course, I thought I was huge at that size. College brought the freshman 30, and then by senior year I was up to about 220. I didn't realize it at the time, but I have binge eating disorder and food became my go-to comforter of choice when I was happy/sad/lonely/bored/excited/whatever.
I moved to France after graduation, and at the end of four years, had got down to about 190. While there (and weighing about 220), I had to have my gallbladder out and remember lying in the hospitl with tremendous pain thinking, "If only I could always feel like this; I'd never overeat!" Disordered thinking.
Within a year of returning home, I was up to 270, and finally hit a high weight of 306. I was seriously considering getting the sleeve done in Mexico by Dr. Aceves. But I decided to give dieting one more try before going that route. Something clicked in roughly 2011 and I embraced the low carb/high protein diet and within about two years was down to 185. I was so proud of myself, was getting lots of praise from my family and friends, and was nearly ready to say good bye to my Lane Bryant shopping days. Then in 2013, my wonderful Dad unexpectedly passed away. I stayed away from bingeing for a couple months, but one slip led to the whole thing starting over again and since then my weight has creeped back up to 270. It's incredibly frustrating; the low carb thing was HARD but it was working, at least for a while, and I just kick myself for putting the weight back on. I'm sure my story is not unique.
I was part of a 12-step group for compulsive eaters for about three years, but wasn't able to fully embrace the program and stopped attending meetings. I found parts of it really triggering; maybe I just wasn't ready, maybe it just wasn't for me. I know those programs can do a tremendous amount of good for many.
New job, new insurance that covers bariatric surgery. After a lot of research on the boards, I have decided I'd like to get the duodenal switch (after a brief flirtation with the idea of gastric bypass). Found a surgeon in Washington state (Dr. Myur Srikanth) who performs the surgery. Just received the insurance approval yesterday, and surgery is tentatively scheduled for February 16. Upon receiving the news of the approval, I went from joy to "Oh, no, I can't do this!" in about ten seconds flat. All sorts of doubts are popping up. I've been working with a dietitian for the last nine months who has been very helpful in changing my relationship with food, but I do still binge. Not as much as before, not as often as before, but that behavior is still there. I keep thinking that the restriction is going to be my lifeline, coupled with the behavioral changes I've made. But am worried about not being able to comply with the post-surgery requirements, and am also worried about losing my big ol' sugary carby security blanket. I am SICK of being obese. I know that, and I know what I've tried before hasn't worked, or hasn't worked long-term.
So, that's my story! I look forward to getting to know this community, and I am hesitantly looking forward to the candor.
Ann