F**k you narcissist. F**k you in the eye!

[kirmy]

Many of you know me. You know about my evil mother and her special narcissist ways. She's always been neglectful and abusive. She has always lied, manipulated, Pitts her children against each other and ripped off vulnerable members of society. She's an evil shit stain of a person. She also bought me into the world. She likely hastened my fathers death through deliberate manipulation of his diet and medication. Can you say Munchausen by proxy? Yeh she hurt me growing up for attention too! How the fuck I survived that festering vagina of a person I do not know but I did! Fuck her!

So since Dad died Shit stain has been soft and caring and vulnerable. She's been broken and weak and elderly. I felt bad for her. I then got Cancer and she got pissed off that it upstaged my sister. She wasn't interested in the type of Breast cancer I've got, my survival odds and the God awful treatment I have ahead of me. But...I'm still a soft shite of a person and more than anything I want my mother to love me. I wanted her to care...she doesn't. She decided to visit. But she's not coming until the weather is nicer and then she's going to tour about so really...she's wanting to use my house as a crash pad while she has the grand tour. She isn't bothered if I'm too sick to interact or in hospital. She change the subject back to her........again.....

So today she sent me a cracker of an email. It is a conspiracy piece about how chemotherapy makes you die slowly and in great pain. I'm half way through chemo. Apparently the "scientists" note that no matter what chemo I have it will kill me violently and with great suffering. Hey ho...too bad to me. I flipped out. My vulnerable little girl centre wated my Mum to care but instead she spammed me with a nee neeeerr you're gonna die post. I told her I was revolted by her email and how could any mother send this to her daughter going through Cancer treatment etc.

Her reply...cut and past because it's so full retard I can't even:

I DID NOT SEND IT TO UPSET YOU I THOUGHT WITH YOUR OPEN MIND YOU
WOULD SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS. NO DRAMA KIRSTIN. Modern medicine has come a long way
These days and many changes are taking place. THE POWER OF THE MIND IS THE GREATEST TOOL
YOU CAN HAVE!!!. Sadly some people are so wrapped up in themselves they cannot see the
Bush for the trees. ( me I'm assuming because you know...I'm a cunt)
You can be an utter bitch at times in the way you talk to me and treat me over the years. Your Dad
Was not always impressed in your treatment towards us especially how we were treated when we came to visit ( My Dad loved me and was ashamed of Mum's behaviour when she visited. Too much drama to go into detail about but yeh....wow she went there)......
You, he vowed and declared he would not return as he WA very hurt at the time. So was I.
I have been deeply hurt by your treatment towards me and lack of communication. You were selfish and spoilt.
Georgina has suffered and gone through an awful lot and now has another lump on her para-thyroid
But she is not a drama queen.
I AM VERY PLEASED TO SEE THAT YOU ARE GETTING ON TOP OF YOUR PROBLEM.
You are not the only one that suffers so don't be such a bloody drama queen.
God bless you will put you in my prayers

Your loving mother.


So why am I allowing her to still hurt me?

I'm just so annoyed at myself and so frustrated at her. There were more exchanges but gah.....this is the crux of it.

 

[southernlady]

Oh, Kirmy, if I could wave a magic wand, make her NOT be your mother, I would. You deserve so much better.

You can pick friends but not family. BUT that does not mean you have interact with her. You take care of YOU. And WE have your back.

 

[duh_Mom]

good lord almighty, I don't even know how to respond to this. My daughter had cancer and it was the most scary time of my life. You are entitled to be and feel however you need to.
The wife has a mother like this and the treatment you both receive is terrible. easy to say - but if you can release her to the universe and let Karma take her.

hugs honey

 

[kirmy]

Yeh she is horrible. She sent another two emails each worse Than the last one insinuating that Im suffering from drug psychosis from my chemo...blah blah blah hate hate hate....I've blocked her. I'm not going to speak to her. I don't know what my life span is. It may be less than five years or more than ten or one but with what's left I'm not spending any of it on her. She's gone.

 

[newanatomy]

I am sorry for the fact that your mother is absolutely toxic. You have enough toxicity in your life with chemo right now. Let her go completely! Let her know she is not welcome to visit or contact you again. Focus on healing. Hugs!

 

[Charris]

Omg KIRMY the is the rudest non sympathetic email I have ever seen towards someone that a person says they love. I'm sorry with everything going on you have to deal with BS like that. I'm so evil if i were I'd cut her out my life. I wouldn't take the to pissed on her if she was on fire!

 

[Clematis]

Your mother is mentally ill. The analysis of her letter should be the final exam for a psychology class. Every. Single. Sentence. I guffawed at the last line and the signature.

I hope you can find some peace.

 

[bearmom]

That letter would be insulting from anyone, but from a MOTHER?!? I'm so sorry. What a narcissistic tool, and especially dirty trying to create shit about your departed dad that thankfully you know how he truly felt about you. She just has no boundaries, and you can't have that aggravation in your life. Whether your break from her is for a week or eternity, I hope you can find some peace about this. It's really unfair.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Mum's a festering toxic cunt.


(My dad was a less verbose version of her. I cut him out of my life decades ago. I was "too busy" to make it to his funeral...as were half of his siblings and most of his nieces and nephews. I was told that when he died, I'd feel sad that there was no chance of anything being resolved...but that never happened. I guess he was dead to me way before he figured out to stop breathing. Some people make the world a better place when they are born...others, when they die. He was in the latter group and so is your cunt of a mum. At this point, you just need to wait for her to make the world a better place.)

 

[DianaCox]

There are several of us here old enough to be your mother, and we'd probably get into a hair-pulling, fingernail-ripping contest for the right to share in the honor if there wasn't enough room for all our love in your heart.

She's a sick fuck - whether that absolves her in some Karmic way of whatever her fate will be, in this life or an afterwards if it exists - YOU do not need to be a part of or a target for her pain. Let her go - for now, for the undefinable future. If and when you ever feel ready and have the desire (not NEED) to try to "fix" what is likely an unfixable thing, you can do it later - or never.

I believe we owe our relatives a bit more leeway than complete strangers (they get unearned superdelegate points, if only for evolutionary reasons) - but that leeway is not unlimited. I distanced myself a bit from my crazy mom for a long time, though I'm more tender towards her as she is disintegrating into a muddled-minded blatherer of sweet platitudes, rather than her prior acid tongued nature. It makes both of us feel good now to pretend it was always like this, so it's not hypocritical. What was past, is past. (But to be fair, my mom was never as blatantly cruel and hurtful to me as this letter is to you - more arrogant snarkiness, half for her own amusement at putting me in my place, than cruelty.)

Charles didn't speak to his mother for the last 10 years of her life, except the two times I "made" him do it so I could meet her. And he didn't cry when she died, and hasn't ever, as far as I know - once his father, whom he adored, was gone, she was dead to him too. It can be done - and sometimes, it must.

 

[kirmy]

She's mentally ill but has no desire to fix it. Dad enabled her and her terrible behaviour by always backing her up. She never a and I mean never had to atone for her behaviour so has no mechanism by which to learn and grow from mistakes....she just erases them and blames others and moves on. If you chip away at this reality you get the full force psycho....and I for one don't cacre for it. She can go fuck off and die. She wishes the same for me too.

Here is the rest of our exchange for your viewing pleasure. It's the last she'll ever have with me.:


Me: Let's see if I've got this straight. You sent me an article telling me I was going to die in pain due to having chemotherapy. You see nothing wrong with this? You note I'm a drama queen. I would think having an aggressive form of cancer and being in the middle of treatment would warrant some consideration from you. You then go on to berate me and let me know at my lowest ebb that Dad was disappointed and angry at me and would never return to visit me. Class act Mum. I'd rather not have communication with you at all if this is your behaviour. You either care and support me through my treatment or you cut ties. The choice is yours but I don't want any more of your emotional black mail.

Shit stain:
Kirstin you are mad, I DID NOT SAY YOU WERE GOING TO DIE WE ALL WILL EVENTUALLY
YOU HAVE TAKEN THIS THE WRONG WAY the article I sent was never meant to get you riled up and taken personally,
You need to think things out with an open mind - I have never said anything about your treatment,
I am very pleased that your are making headway and getting on top of it. Am sure you WIll come through with flying
Colours. No Dad Was hurt and so was I at the way things were when we visited you, but realised that
Is your nature, we just let it go......................... There is no emotional blackmail. I' m very sorry that is how you see things.
Of course I care about you but have been hurt over the years by your Behaviour towards me.
But life is to short to worry we must all move on. I HAVE TO REALISE WITH ALL THE DRUGS YOU ARE ON YOU ARE NOT
SEEING THINGS RASHIONLY AND HAVE TAKEN this the wrong way. So sorry for that.

God Bless you

 

[kirmy]

Mum's a festering toxic cunt.


(My dad was a less verbose version of her. I cut him out of my life decades ago. I was "too busy" to make it to his funeral...as were half of his siblings and most of his nieces and nephews. I was told that when he died, I'd feel sad that there was no chance of anything being resolved...but that never happened. I guess he was dead to me way before he figured out to stop breathing. Some people make the world a better place when they are born...others, when they die. He was in the latter group and so is your cunt of a mum. At this point, you just need to wait for her to make the world a better place.)

Yup....I'll skype in to her funeral so as to not wast my frequent flyer miles.

 

[DianaCox]

Is "God bless you" the Aussie equivalent of the Southern "Bless your heart?"

 

[kirmy]

Who knows she's the Beverly Allot of Spirituality

 

[southernlady]

Is "God bless you" the Aussie equivalent of the Southern "Bless your heart?"

The Southern version depends on how it's said as well and to whom.