Calories, Calories, Calories Post-Op (My Head is About to Explode :p)

[Munchkin]

Just keep in mind here that opinions are like assholes and everyone has one. This is my opinion as a fellow superabsorber and a DSer. I am just like you, I had to go down to 5 or 600 hundred calories per day and pretty close to 0 carbs. The only reason I didn't outweigh you was because my whole life was a diet and I fought it tooth and nail for eons. My food each and every day was tuna, turkey, or chicken breast, and raw spinach. Sometimes a few baby carrots. I did give myself time off for vacations and holidays. I know the drill.

Here's what *I* would do in your place. I would go to Professor Nottle and tell him I had changed my mind and I want the most extreme DS he is willing to do ASAP. I have decided to adopt because after seeing my less than stellar results from the sleeve I have come to realize there is possibly a genetic element to my obesity I would not wish to pass along to my child.

I would not feel at all bad about doing this because it's possible this is true and adoption is something I might have to consider given my age and physical condition. I also know as a postop the odds are low that I will have significant deficiencies because I will still absorb more than enough. And I know I have every intention of supplementing properly.

After the DS, I would lose as much weight as possible as fast as possible. Then at 18 months postop, if I was doing well and still desired children, I would go off my birth control and let nature take it's course. If I got pregnant, great. If not, it wasn't meant to be and I should look at alternatives.

^^^That would be my plan. I would give it some time and then move on to plastics. I know for sure I don't have too many years of fertility left to just wait around. Waiting to lose weight. Waiting to fit in. I already spent enough time waiting for that to happen!

 

[Larra]

This is a tough one. On the one hand, with a DS you would need to work harder to maintain good protein and vitamin/mineral levels during pregnancy. You are someone who is very willing and able to do this IMHO, but it's still a risk. Your surgeon may have encountered other patients who were less capable and/or less determined or just didn't get it. After a couple experiences with patients with significant malnutrition, doctors get leery about setting up someone for such a serious and difficult to fix problem.
On the other hand, being pregnant while significantly overweight/obese or MO presents its own risks, which are nothing to sneeze at, and even becoming pregnant is more difficult and less likely when MO. Not impossible, but less likely. And this would be a high risk pregnancy because of your weight, nevermind any other comorbidities you may have.
So either way there is risk. I am inclined to agree with the philosophy that it's your life and the decisions should be yours. But you can't force a surgeon to operate on you. And I realize that travel to a DS surgeon elsewhere isn't in the budget right now. But if there is any way that that becomes possible, that you could find your way financially to pay for the surgery, fly back to the USA long enough to have surgery and recover a bit, that would be the ideal. Then if you get pregnant after losing a bunch of weight fine, and if not, you already know I'm sure what the alternatives are so I won't get into that here.
So I don't have an answer for you, but wanted you to know that I care and I want so much for you to have the weight loss, good health, and family you deserve. I hope all this will come to pass for you, one way or another.

 

[robs477]

Just keep in mind here that opinions are like assholes and everyone has one. This is my opinion as a fellow superabsorber and a DSer. I am just like you, I had to go down to 5 or 600 hundred calories per day and pretty close to 0 carbs. The only reason I didn't outweigh you was because my whole life was a diet and I fought it tooth and nail for eons. My food each and every day was tuna, turkey, or chicken breast, and raw spinach. Sometimes a few baby carrots. I did give myself time off for vacations and holidays. I know the drill.

Here's what *I* would do in your place. I would go to Professor Nottle and tell him I had changed my mind and I want the most extreme DS he is willing to do ASAP. I have decided to adopt because after seeing my less than stellar results from the sleeve I have come to realize there is possibly a genetic element to my obesity I would not wish to pass along to my child.

I would not feel at all bad about doing this because it's possible this is true and adoption is something I might have to consider given my age and physical condition. I also know as a postop the odds are low that I will have significant deficiencies because I will still absorb more than enough. And I know I have every intention of supplementing properly.

After the DS, I would lose as much weight as possible as fast as possible. Then at 18 months postop, if I was doing well and still desired children, I would go off my birth control and let nature take it's course. If I got pregnant, great. If not, it wasn't meant to be and I should look at alternatives.

^^^That would be my plan. I would give it some time and then move on to plastics. I know for sure I don't have too many years of fertility left to just wait around. Waiting to lose weight. Waiting to fit in. I already spent enough time waiting for that to happen!

Wow, You worded that way better than I did, and that's essentially what I was trying to say also.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I just wanted to chime in again and give you a big cyber hug.
I can feel your frustration and I understand it and the confusion.
Yeah where I am today trying to figure out what my body wants/needs to lose is different from where you are, but the feeling of that frustration is the same.
I am sure you're not done losing and I don't believe your rapid loss window has ended...I think you just have to figure out what your body wants. (Rapid is a relative term also)
I do believe your slower loss does have a lot to do with how much you lost before the surgery. But slower doesn't mean none.
Hang in there!

THIS!!!!! So much this!!!! I know you tired of hearing me bang on out figuring out what your body wants/needs, but that really is it.

My metabolism was broke pre VSG (and to an extent pre DS). Do you know how much I was able to lose in 8 months pre op? 20 lbs. Thats right. 20 bleeding pounds! I was soooooooo thankful my surgeon was still willing to give me a chance.

I think you are panicking in your head and your endo just watered that seed of self doubt.

*hugs*

You aren't done losing, it's going to be slow, but it will continue. Have you upped your calories yet? Do it and give it a month. Also, don't weigh every day. I learned the hard way that it is bad bad bad. If I hadn't lost anything (or gained, and I did gain several times post VSG) I hated life. If I did lose, I would self sabotage. So now, Im TRYING my hardest to treat myself right and only weigh once a month.

I can hear the frustration in your post and it makes me incredibly sad to think you regret your journey already before it has truly began. I wish I could say something, anything to put your mind at ease. My weight loss was in chunks and filled with stalls. 2lbs here, 1lb there, 5lbs later, then a 3 lb gain....but it all adds up to a loss.

I wish I knew what to say to encourage you. Can you book an appointment with your surgeon just for reassurance and possibly asking the time frame for the 2nd half?

 

[JackieOnLine]

I got nothing but I'm so glad there are folks posting who do know what this is like and have ideas about it.

I just want to say OMG things have been too hard for you and there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it. and I wish I could give your surgeon a big ole kick in the shin.

 

[more2adore]

THIS!!!!! So much this!!!! I know you tired of hearing me bang on out figuring out what your body wants/needs, but that really is it.

My metabolism was broke pre VSG (and to an extent pre DS). Do you know how much I was able to lose in 8 months pre op? 20 lbs. Thats right. 20 bleeding pounds! I was soooooooo thankful my surgeon was still willing to give me a chance.

I think you are panicking in your head and your endo just watered that seed of self doubt.

*hugs*

You aren't done losing, it's going to be slow, but it will continue. Have you upped your calories yet? Do it and give it a month. Also, don't weigh every day. I learned the hard way that it is bad bad bad. If I hadn't lost anything (or gained, and I did gain several times post VSG) I hated life. If I did lose, I would self sabotage. So now, Im TRYING my hardest to treat myself right and only weigh once a month.

I can hear the frustration in your post and it makes me incredibly sad to think you regret your journey already before it has truly began. I wish I could say something, anything to put your mind at ease. My weight loss was in chunks and filled with stalls. 2lbs here, 1lb there, 5lbs later, then a 3 lb gain....but it all adds up to a loss.

I wish I knew what to say to encourage you. Can you book an appointment with your surgeon just for reassurance and possibly asking the time frame for the 2nd half?

*Hugs,* Roo. You have been such a good friend to me throughout this whole process and such an unexpected blessing in my life at exactly the right time. Yes, I've upped my calories for the last week (though I was bad and didn't come anywhere close to calorie, water or protein goals yesterday... too much going on for hubby's bday and too exhausted when we got home and just went straight to bed). If my surgeon weren't so far away I'd book something with him, but it's expensive to travel down there and hubby has to take time off work, which he can't right now. They're supposed to call in a couple of weeks to check up on my weight loss - I reckon if it's not what they expect they'll have no qualms about telling me so. I think it'll be about six months before I actually go down there and see him again.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I really can't tell you how many days have been spent in tears post VSG. I lost slow, struggled hard, and had a large sleeve. I cried because I was scared the LAST possibility of weight loss was going to fail. I cried because I saw everyone else zooming past me. (The friends I had at the beginning of my journey are mere acquaintances now as they've lost all the weight and are living life and Im still super fat.) I cried because I was hungry. I cried because every damn day was a struggle and usually a let down. I cried because I lost 150lbs and didn't need a new clothing size yet. I cried because what *IF* I was successful....one day...would it be too late to live a happy life? I cried because *IF* I was successful would my FA husband still want me? (The love will always be there, but sexual attraction is an important component of married life). I cried because I gained 5 pounds or only lost 1 pound in 3 months.

I cried A LOT. Each time I would cry myself to sleep with mike cuddling me, trying to reassure me. There isn't much reassurance for a tortured soul who has been 3 times the size of a normal person her whole life.

I lost 200 pounds. In FOUR YEARS! FOUR BLOODY YEARS! Do you realise how ahead of the game you are?

Now when I cry it's because life isn't fair. After my million and one complications from surgery, my hip went crazy and ran away. I can't walk. I can't even stand up straight. I cry.

But I carry on. People look at my ticker and think WOW! But they don't know it's been nearly 5 years now. A lot of work mentally and physically went into that 331lbs....and a whole hell of a lot of tears. A lot of tears.

After the tears though, I would feel a strength well up in me to try just once more. So I did. And so you will you

This is the toughest thing you will go through in your life. Mentally and physically.

I know we have a history, but that's water under the bridge. I'm here to reassure you or kick your ass when needed.