I didn't want to whine although re-reading my post it sounds like I was. My intent is truly to help someone else manage their expectations if they get an LBL. The secret for happiness in life is to keep your expectations low and your wine consumption high.
Here's the thing: I'm not sure my surgeon botched the surgery.
Ok I feel the "oopsie" on the joining of the front and back incisions could have been avoided, although I must say I've seen this very same thing on RealSelf and no one complains about it. It would be covered by the low, mons-skimming bikinis people not as old as I wear; it's not covered by a one piece swim suit which tends to be worn a little higher on the leg. I'm using silicone scar cream/gel so maybe that will help. And again, my thighs are a puddled mess so my window for wearing a swim suit apparently ended in 2005 anyway -- I'm not sufficiently "screw 'em if they don't like to look at it", balls-to-the-wall bold to let all my floppy, wrinkly skin be exposed. I'm so transparently fair, I've spent most summers bundled up like Kenny on South Park just to protect myself from the sun.
The hole in my ass (not to be confused by my ******** 
is related to the autologous augmentation, either directly as in the underlying tissue (my original ass) is too thick as it approaches the sides and is pulling the cheeks apart (unlikely as the skin was so thin) and/or indirectly as in this area is still very swollen which then has the same effect PLUS one has to be quite thin. Per the surgeons I consulted and looking on RealSelf, I am far thinner than the vast majority of people undergoing LBL. I don't think my surgeon has ever had this happen to a patient before and he has done hundreds of LBLs, but only a handful on someone as thin as me. Net net: I don't think he did anything wrong. It is still swollen and when I walk a distance I can feel the area below the incision getting tight (I guess from swelling -- feels like I'm wearing a weighted fanny pack) and then can feel my cheeks opening even further, not just at the mid longitude hole, but the base of the cheeks, too. In time the swelling may go down, the buttock skin not be pulled apart and the hole may close. If not it'll get fixed, maybe turning a small teardrop breast implant sideways?? I wish I was brave enough to post a picture of my butt!!
We all seem to end up with the flat ass post DS. This is not a function of weight loss per se as I have lost weight to this same scale number in the past but still had quite a butt. I'd say it has something to do with our fat malabsorption but I've seen RNYers reporting the same thing. So who knows. Anyway, when one has a lower body lift, the skin is pulled up in the back which makes one's ass even flatter which seems impossible. One either lives with that -- and every surgeon I consulted said he found it quite unattractive and clothes would not fit properly -- or one had an autologous augmentation using a double layer of one's own skin or fat injections from elsewhere (takes A LOT of fat and success rates for fat transfer anywhere in body after 1 year are only about 50/50 -- I wouldn't have done this for that reason, however I don't have enough fat to transfer. No doctor recommended fat transfer for a butt lift anyway) OR a Brazilian Butt Lift using artificial implants (one said this is all he recommends and showed me photos of Kardashian-like booty. I snorted with laughter. So NOT me.) If you want a butt with any sort of protrusion, you need BBL artificial implants. I did not. And if you get this big butt, you will need to buy all new clothes... again.
As for the baggy midriff, I'm still very tight and swollen. Although it looks to others like I am standing fully upright, I'm really only about 98%. I know I have to give this time. It may very well look better when I can put more tension on it. We'll see.
I had planned in August to get the breast lift with small implants, something done about the hideous platysma (vertical bands) in my neck, and my perpetual scowl from downturned mouth, but I'm afraid now. The esthetic bar for that surgery is very high for me. I may see a few more surgeons.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I'll post an update a month from now.
