I do not hate animals and don't attack me, but...

[Spiky Bugger]

...I'm just saying'...

If you are almost 40 and the HARDEST THING you have ever had to do in your entire life is put down a pet that is in pain and suffering...then maybe you have had a fairly easy life?

I have a family member doing deep drama over being in this situation. I understand. I have been there myself and it isn't easy. But it is also one of the responsibilities of pet ownership and what you signed on for at the git-go.

It isn't easy...I get it. But sending out emails and begging for support and prayers and the ability to get through this horrible, horrible experience is, imho, just a bit over the top. Most of us have been there...without the drama.

I dunno...I think this relative is an idiot anyway. He just posted his W2 online...I'm not sure if he's bragging or complaining. LOL On one hand, it's more money than most of the people in his little jerkwater town make, so he MAY be bragging...however when DH and I were both working, we paid more than that in taxes every year, so I'm not sure what the point of posting the W2 was.

Well, I hope the poor dog doesn't have to suffer long while he finds the courage to do what has to be done.

He is absolutely from the shallow end of the gene pool.

 

[SHales]

I get it, I can still tear up a little about my Rottie that I had to have put down but there was no drama other than my crying in the vets office with her head in my lap. I had no trouble deciding to do it, she was in pain, bad pain. I have a relative that went to bed for 3 days and used his dogs death as an excuse for him being an ******* for 2 solid weeks. (He was an ******* before he ever got a dog.)

WTF? posting your W2 online? Umm ok...

 

[Jo777]

Yeah the W2 is the heads up..
As far as the animal thing, it can be traumatic.. but still, sending out pleas of support vs just a heads up that you had to make that hard call? Oh. I just re-read it, the dog is still around.. That bothers me. I have friends that let their dog they supposedly loved suffer, till it finally died on it's own a horrible suffering death (which they posted about endlessly during the throes on FB).. I cannot stand that ****. You love the animal, you prevent it's suffering at your own emotional sacrifice. I hate seeing that. Animals don't have the ability to gripe like us humans, and evolution makes it so that they need to NOT show pain and weakness, lest they get picked off, it's instinct... the fact we have the brains to UNDERSTAND that last point should make the call a no-brainer, but then again.. I'm slowly starting to get more grumpy and realize most just don't use the brains they have.. so animals and small children get to suffer more frequently than needed.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Okay...it's over. The dog is permanently out of pain--apparently it's been going on since the 19th--and the idiot relative has survived. But now his (probably alcoholic) mother is posting sad poems with floral graphics about pets that have died not really being gone.

Well, at least it's a time out from the sad poems with floral graphics about her deceased mother and father. (Not to be confused with the "if you repost this story about how Mary Lou found Jesus, God will do you a HUGE favor in two minutes" posts.)

This is my husband's family and explains why he visits them once every ten years or so.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I understand the deep sorrow of losing a soul-mate type's death....BUT, it was a very personal experience, was never drama, just a private sadness that still aches a bit today. Took me 10 years to get over it enough to get another dog.

All that being said, I TOTALLY get the drama thing. omg. People like that drive me bonkers. Like look at me....isn't life horrible to ME ME ME? yeah. Maybe you can unsubscribe from her facebook for a while. I recently discovered the beautiful option to unsubscribe, so you don't have to see their drivel and then put them on an acquaintance list and you can chose how much of your life they see.

And lol @ shallow end of the gene pool hahahahaha. We joke in my family that most of our genes are from a cesspool.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Spiky, you can unfollow the person so that the stuff doesn't come up on your feed. They won't know.

I understand the pain of saying goodbye to the four-footers, too. I consider Mr. EN and myself blessed that we have thus far been able to hold all of our furkids as they have been eased from this life. None have been killed or died unexpectedly.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

@DuodenalSwitchaRoo @Elizabeth N.

I don't actually play on FB. Or know what a feed is. Or have friends. I merely lurk occasionally on my daughter's page to see photos she tells me to look at.

Every once in a while, I look to see what other family members are up to...and, like this time, I'm usually sorry...lol. Like when I find the mom in this situation whose god has nothing better to do than monitor FB to see who reposts the story about MaryLou and grant HUGE favors to them within two minutes. I always wonder if she believes the same stuff when she sobers up.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

lol I HATE things like that. LOL one way to make sure I DONT share something is to either a) threaten me, b) bribe me, or c) demand I share it if I am a (insert positive yet loaded thing here) person.

 

[kirmy]

Well I had a British Bull terrier named Nelson. My ex husband and I got him before we bought our first home. I poured my heart into that dog and utterly loved him like he was a son. I would lay in bed at night utterly horrified at the thought of losing him. Here was the one creature in this world that loved me despite me being a socially awkward jerk.

He developed kidney failure aged 5. We fought for a fortnight to get him well but it was too bad. I asked my excellent vet to come to the house of put Nelson down while I held him in my arms. The days before were gut wrenching sorrow. I felt as if vast tracts of my emotional landscape were being washed away. Here was the love going out of life. I felt like I was drowning and would be truly alone again. I had never been able to make that connection before in my life.

So my dog died and I was stoic. We buried him in the back yard under the lychee tree next to the chicken pen wrapped in a Mexican blanket full of tennis balls, ham, chocolate, cheese and bones like a Viking burial. Over the next two weeks I had terrible nightmares about Nelson. The grief was so raw and on one occasion I found myself running outside with an umbrella to stand over his grave so he wouldn't get wet. Then all I could think about was the fact that he was rotting away. I withdrew from life. Took drugs, didn't go to work, compulsively ate and stopped taking part in my marriage.

After a month of madness I had this dream where this beautiful dark haired little boy pulled himself out of Nelson's grave and ran past me laughing saying that he had to go get born. He was so beautiful and full of life that I felt utter calm. I let go. I still miss my boy but he is gone.

You can grieve a pet like a human because they can have the same significance. For me Nelson was instrumental in helping me heal from a life of abuse and there for was a central figure in my life for good. I never had love before then that wasn't dangerous, painful or sadistic. After losing him I left my marriage, lost 12 stone, left Australia and started a new life in Scotland.

Grief is so complex and can be made up of so many strands. When you lose the glue the entire picture falls apart. For me it was my dog. Maybe that happens to others as well. I have a smarter pet owner reaction ship now but then again I don't have a Nelson. Despite being an atheist I feel that my dog was a real blessing for a very damaged young woman in a downward spiral.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I identify with so much of that Kirmy. So much. I miss my Neekers (monique) so much to this day I can only utter a few sentences about her before I start bawling....and she died in 2004. Sorry for your loss. As much as I love my husband, Neekers was my soul mate.

 

[DianaCox]

I have always had pets, mostly cats, some ******** and some the most precious personalities. I have not had a relationship with a pet that was more than what I have had with any one of several important people in my life - but I think I can understand situations where other people feel that way. And I can say that many specific times, my cats have given me more pure and uncomplicated happiness than my kids or husbands. And losing them - especially making the decision to end their suffering - is an agonizing one, and something I will never get used to. Even putting down one of the ********.

On the other hand, I totally get this: "But sending out emails and begging for support and prayers and the ability to get through this horrible, horrible experience is, imho, just a bit over the top. Most of us have been there...without the drama."

For a change, I am Switzerland on an issue.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

The main reason I was so attached is I watched my dog be born...my mom had her mom....she was a toy poodle. I was 11 and going through the hell of junior high as a fat person....and my dog loved me no matter how hated and tortured I was in school. My dog moved to Idaho to Cali to Idaho to Cali and back to Idaho with me until I was 23. Those are transformative years for most people and she was the constant in my life. My current dog, I adore but not in the same way as there will never be another Neekers. As for cats, I have a cat and a love her to bits but they aren't the same as a dog

But when my dog died I never asked or begged for anything....just had my own personal little breakdown for a while. I still have a picture of her, smiling, on my bedside table. I'm not really the drama type, Im more the fight/flight/depressive type.

 

[JackieOnLine]

dogs, cats, and other animals I'm sure, they are family.

I dunno about too much drama - some people just like it out in your face, most of us would rather withdraw, I think.

 

[Whit]

I like pets more them most people.
We drove my first Dog as an adult, Phoebe, A holstein spotted Bull Terrier, to the Vet at UC Davis for a diagnosis. It's about a hour from my home. She was littered with Cancer. When the Vet told me I lost it. My husband handed the vet his Bank Card and said save her spend it all. Dear Man. It was decided nothing could prolong her life she was 13 and she was in pain. They took us to a dimly lit room with a sheep skin rung on the floor and soothing music playing. Brought her in and she left this world with her head in my lap very loved.

My employer gave me 3 day bereavement and I needed it.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Awww Whitt. I have tears rolling down my face. So sad but a nice send off. So sorry for your loss.