PSA--Do you REALLY need that? REALLY?

[k9ophile]

K9, I can't think of anything right now. I remember a Bandster from OH who told me she sort of flirted with hoarding and it actually got her. I mean, she could see it happening but it kept getting worse.

it's a real THING, in other words.

I suspect it's like eating disorders or alcoholism: not the same approach is right for every person.

all I can offer is: if you want to talk about it on the internets, I will show up and join in. I have tons of room and not a ton of stuff but only from moving so much. I certainly have CLUTTER issues. it's stressful for me to see it, but the solution is in my brain and my behavior....

Thanks! I know you've had a lot of experience with self help. I bought The Gift of Fear because you spoke so highly of it. Of course I have no idea which stack of junk it's in.

 

[marissamast]

Part of mine is rooted in my age...my Mother and daddy were kids of the Depression and throwing anything away that could be reused was unheard of cause what if you needed it tomorrow? Part of it is rooted in sentimental values or saving your heritage.

I was in an antique store one day and overheard a couple talking about how their parents got rid of all the "old" stuff for new and now they were hunting for OLD stuff cause it meant more.

Hardest stuff to get rid of now are books...most book stores have gone under, even libraries are full of books that take up space when ebooks are becoming the common. I mean, I currently have over 2500 books on a Kindle that weighs less than 1/2 a lb? Hard bound books take up space and weigh a WHOLE lot more...I know cause while I have weeded thru MOST of my books and given them away over the last 3 decades of moving, the ones I have left still take up in excess of 20 damned book boxes when moving and who am *I* gonna pass them too? And adding 22 boxes of my daddy's library did NOT help matters.

Try donating them....to the local jail? They always need books. To the juvinile lock up? Schools? I took all mine to the jail...mostly Stephen King and stuff like that, and they were VERY thankful. I love Kindle. I have it on my phone and have a book with me at any given moment. Glorious.

 

[marissamast]

Liz,

First, you don't own books...they own you. Get rid of the damned things! (And we need to get rid if Diana's shoe collection, I guess.)

Then, my situation is not an ungodly accumulation of stuff with questionable value, such as Mr. Sue's too many Civil War books. All he (and you?) can do with boxes of books is trip over them. The other day, he said he'd donate his to a library. I rudely explained tbat the library did not want his old books...tbe "Friends of tbe Library" might accept a donation and then try to sell them for 50¢ each. He looked hurt. But that's the truth.

For my part, I am emotionally involved with the bedroom furniture my grandmother bought in 1929, but who needs a double bed? And the Mid-Century Modern bedroom stuff my mom bought in 1959. And the maple bedroom furniture my mom bought with our "Indian Money," also mid-century. But I really don't need that many bedrooms. My sister doesn't want it. Her daughter is babysittng the maple stuff, but doesn't really need it. I also have my grandparents' dining room furniture, also circa 1929...which means that I have to buy a house with a damned dining room...even though we seldom "dine." (I think we have used that table twice in the past year, nce with my kid, once with Kirmy.)

My problem is not hoarding per se , it is buying a new Cuisinart coffee maker on sale when nothng is wrong with the current one, and then deciding I really wanted a Keurig. Great. Now I have three coffee makers. That weren't cheap. And they work. I have trouble finding homes fir the extras.


But...hoarding...I believe I have read that those who were deprived, as in the Great Depression, tend to blame the deprivation...but there are so many people of great wealth that have the same problem, the "I did without, back in the day," is often thought of as just an excuse.

The most famous documented case from a ways back are the Collyer Brothers. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers

Short version:
Yet no one could have known that they'd also been amassing 140 tons of trash. And in that heap the body of Homer was first found, dead from starvation. His brother Langley, however, was nowhere to be found. Police even went to Atlantic City to look for him, only to find that he had been buried in a mound of paper not ten feet from Homer. He'd been attempting to bring Homer, who was blind, his food, which consisted of over 100 oranges each week to attempt to bring back his sight. Yet Langley had set booby traps all over the house to keep out intruders and accidentally triggered a tripwire, crushing himself beneath a cascade of paper.

In addition to the two brothers, the following items were removed from the house: the jawbone of a horse, hundreds of yards of fabric, tens of thousands of books, human organs pickled in jars, the top of a horse-drawn carriage, 14 pianos, chandeliers, five violins, dressmaking dummies, paintings, statues, bowling balls, bicycles, guns, cameras, musical instruments, baby carriages, and all the newspapers since Homer had lost his sight in the hopes he would someday read them. There were also eight cats prowling around, and an infestation of rats.

BWWAAHHHAAAHHHAA Spikey! I too have the "OOOO but I want the pretty new shiny one!" syndrome. Especially with electronics. I am a bit of a geek and an electronics snob. Don't get my husband started on my phone fetish! Thank God for T-Mobile and their JUMP! plan where I can get the latest and greatest every 12 months! LOLOLOL

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I CAN'T do anything with my daddy's collection until his probate is closed. And that is over 22 boxes. MOST will either go the the Friends of the Library OR to a rare book dealer. As to Mr. Sue's Civil War collection, too bad he can't donate it a university history dept or library. (I think like that cause my next door neighbor teaches Civil War history in a local college).

As to MY collection, they are all on shelves which I DO have room for in this house. Over half were my Mother's cookbooks. Three of them are the Joy of Cooking, different publishing dates. And four are the Betty Crocker ones...different publishing dates too...one is older than I am and it's interesting to read...no "healthy for you" type recipes in those old ones!

I understand the furniture stuff. Just got my grandmother's china cabinet that my daddy had. It is one of only two made by a local furniture maker back in 1945 and the other one was made for the DuPonts. A few pieces I am just babysitting til my sister in FL comes up this fall and takes them home or arrange for my "handyman" (and that is really not the best title for him) to take them to her. I also have a double bed...it was my great gandparents set...dating back to the late 1800's. I replaced my dining room set with a gateleg table that was also my grandmother's kitchen table. (had to have it fixed but so worth it). We WERE looking at a desk when my daddy died so ended up with his...executive size WITH a credenza. I honestly have no issue getting rid of newer stuff. It's the antiques with family connections I have trouble with but with one sister 17 years younger than me and another 21 years younger with as much a sense of family history for my daddy's side, I'm not worried about the furniture. I just have to dust until I die!

But there isn't a surface in this house that doesn't have CLUTTER adorning the surface. I get on a wild hair and fill up the recycle bin! Just haven't gotten the wild hair yet.

And we are "selling" some of the newer stuff for next to nothing (just enough so it's not charity) to a lady starting over but until we get the driveway resealed and have a weekend handy (she can't do it during the week) it's stored upstairs, that will all be gone to a new home making someone else happy.

I WAS in the middle of re purposing a very old door into a headboard when all hell broke loose with our plumbing and that took front and center for the last two months. The resulting water leak turned our basement on it's EARS! We still have stuff all over the place.

I keep forgetting about Probate.

You should start a thread reminding everyone to get a trust.

We FORCED our daughter to create a trust when she didn't own shit, just because.

 

[Munchkin]

One fine day I woke up and realized I was serving all the STUFF in my house and it certainly wasn't serving me. My problem was simply dead people. I had all their stuff. Grandparents, parents, husband. My mom, a depression child, was a bit of a hoarder. So was my H. I finally had to refuse to renew magazine subscriptions because H would not throw away the old ones. And OMG the books. I had a garage I couldn't park in and house full of boxes. I was sick of it.

I was keeping all this stuff that was supposedly 'valuable'. H's comic book collection that he carted around in garbage cans for decades was worth exactly nothing. And all those sets of antique dishes...worthless because you can't find a buyer. Enough already! I got rid of tons of stuff, just donated it. Sold a few things but most of it went to Deseret Industries. I still have a few things to get rid of like a ton(literally) of stained glass and an aquarium but things are much better now. Most of the boxes are gone and I can park in the garage. And it's much easier to clean the house too. Every cabinet is no longer full to bursting. I have room to put things away. I feel much better about life in general since I got rid of most of the junk. Had this great idea about selling all the stuff on e-bay or craigslist. It just wasn't worth the hassle for pennies on the dollar.

Here's one of my best hoarding stories. My mom kept margarine/cool whip/whatever containers. She reused them like tupperware. There were always margarine containers in the fridge full of leftovers. I would take my lunch to work in a margarine container as an attempt at clutter control. Mom would always tell me to be sure to bring back the container and I would gleefully throw them away. Sometimes I would intentionally take several. I had ONE clean, organized kitchen cabinet. All that was in it was a beautiful set of depression glass dishes given to me by a friend. They could not be replaced and it had taken her years to find a whole set. I even had pieces like the pitcher and the cake plate. And all the serving dishes. I loved those dishes. Well mom's container collection had grown and unbeknownst to me, she had started putting containers in with my dishes. One fateful night mom had to put just...one...more...container in that cabinet. Well, you know what happened. All my dishes on the floor, broken. The only pieces that survived were the pitcher and the cake plate. Mom was in tears. We cleaned up all the broken glass and of course all those damn containers were just fine. I was furious. Mom's clutter was a constant bone of contention between us. I told mom to pick out 10 containers she wanted and I was getting rid of the rest of them. Over the next week or so I took garbage bags full of them to work every night and threw them into the dumpster. Why take them to work? So mom couldn't 'rescue' them from the garbage at home!

I have one more major project to do. I'm going to digitize all the photos and then get rid of the originals They take up too much space and I ended up with everyone's pictures/slides. Maybe some historical society might want all the WWII and Korea war photos but the rest will be gone. I'm going to make zip drives for the relatives who want them and of course, my sister.

And @DianaCox if you ever decide you want to get rid of that flute, I want it! I have a friend who plays and can't afford one.