Nursing Home Transition for Elderly Parent

[hilary1617]

Hi, My 88 year old dad, who has both Alzheimer's and mobility issues, is moving into a Soldier's Home next Wednesday. Any advice on how to make the transition less traumatic for him? He has a GrandPad for connectivity and we will bring some framed pictures.

 

[southernlady]

Do what you can to keep it as home like as possible. Pictures are a good one, maybe his favorite chair, a few books he likes, favorite blanket, coffee mugs, etc.

My uncle was in a soldiers home and his son did everything he could to make it as much like his bedroom at his home as he could.

 

[DianaCox]

Is a soldier’s home different from a VA nursing home?

 

[Larra]

This time of year, if he has some favorite or long time holiday decorations, set them up for him.

 

[southernlady]

Is a soldier’s home different from a VA nursing home?

In one major way...VA is run by the Federal government, Soldier's Homes are run by the state.

My uncle (the one buried at Arlington) was very much an advocate in fund raising for the soldiers home near Jacksonville. So much so, the state granted him the right to live there free of charge. He was only there about a year but he loved being around other "old soldiers'.

 

[Munchkin]

Visit, call, and take him out as much as you can. Make sure he has a small stash of his favorite candy!

 

[hilary1617]

Do what you can to keep it as home like as possible. Pictures are a good one, maybe his favorite chair, a few books he likes, favorite blanket, coffee mugs, etc.

My uncle was in a soldiers home and his son did everything he could to make it as much like his bedroom at his home as he could.

These are great suggestions, especially the books, blankets and mugs. I'll have to check to see if he's allowed to bring a chair. He'll have a roommate, so it may be tight quarters.

This time of year, if he has some favorite or long time holiday decorations, set them up for him.

Perfect! There definitely are certain holiday decorations with special meaning to him - a Menorah I made out of clay in kindergarten and Christmas ornaments handed down from his mom. Thanks!

Is a soldier’s home different from a VA nursing home?

I didn't understand the distinction until today. I had no idea. He had always planned on the Soldier's Home in Holyoke, MA, and that is where he is going Wednesday. However, as we live 1000 miles away, we are planning to move my mom here and transfer my dad to the VA nursing home in Union Grove, WI (it's the one closest to Chicago) when/if possible. Mom is trying to sell their house now. The Union Grove wait list is long, so if we can't get him transferred there within a year we will probably move him to a traditional nursing facility in our town (Sunrise or Silverado).

In one major way...VA is run by the Federal government, Soldier's Homes are run by the state.

My uncle (the one buried at Arlington) was very much an advocate in fund raising for the soldiers home near Jacksonville. So much so, the state granted him the right to live there free of charge. He was only there about a year but he loved being around other "old soldiers'.

Wow, your uncle sounds like a true hero. I'm so grateful to all who've served. I hope my dad loves being around the other "old soldiers" too. I suspect he's going to mourn his independence and privacy at first, but am hoping he'll build some friendships.

For those that haven't seen it, the GrandPad (grandpad.net) is really Alzheimer's / elderly friendly and is making me much more comfortable. It's basically a huge, super-simplified bedside smart phone that is controlled by family members. It is designed for those with limited ability to understand technology or type or remember numbers. We can send him photos and he can call us by touching an icon with our images. There no passwords or internet required and he can only use it to connect to people we have set up to receive calls. It has a talk-to-text email feature so He can even email us by speaking into it versus typing, which he cannot do anymore.

 

[southernlady]

For those that haven't seen it, the GrandPad (grandpad.net) is really Alzheimer's / elderly friendly and is making me much more comfortable. It's basically a huge, super-simplified bedside smart phone that is controlled by family members.

I've seen the grandpad commercials. Wasn't sure abut the details. OTOH, had it been available for my dad, I suspect he would not have used it anyway. He was a flip phone guy.

 

[hilary1617]

I've seen the grandpad commercials. Wasn't sure abut the details. OTOH, had it been available for my dad, I suspect he would not have used it anyway. He was a flip phone guy.

With the Alzheimer's, my dad doesn't have the capacity to even use a flip phone any more. The buttons confuse him. Sadly, he keeps trying to use the living room cordless landline phone as a remote control for the tv.

The Grandpad is the ONLY device I've found that allows him successfully to place a call.... It's really designed for those that are experiencing dementia / confusion. Anyone who is technically-savvy at all would hate it!

 

[southernlady]

My daddy did have dementia but not Alzheimer's.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I have seen people make a letter to their elder saying some version of: this is where you are and we know you are there and it's OK on their bedside table or posted where they can't miss it. Because they need to be reminded over and over.

it's only the beginning part that is hard, fairly soon I hope it becomes home to him.

The Grandpad is the ONLY device I've found that allows him successfully to place a call.... It's really designed for those that are experiencing dementia / confusion.

so, he is already used to using it? big plus!

 

[hilary1617]

I have seen people make a letter to their elder saying some version of: this is where you are and we know you are there and it's OK on their bedside table or posted where they can't miss it. Because they need to be reminded over and over.

it's only the beginning part that is hard, fairly soon I hope it becomes home to him.

That's a fantastic idea!

I'm really hoping he will enjoy the camaraderie. He's been self-isolating for a while because he gets disoriented outside his home, but I know that inside he's highly social.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I know that inside he's highly social.

a very good thing, I hope he soon settles and gets to enjoy his new routine.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

So much good information.

None of this was available to us w/my stepfather (Alzheimer's confirmed postmortem.) With my mom, we made DIY versions of some things which are now available commercially.

I'm going to disagree a bit w/ Munchkin ...seldom a wise idea, but I'm on drugs. Outings would not have been easy for any of us, or enjoyable for my mom. As her dementia progressed, I had to keep in mind that everything was a challenge for her to understand. So, maybe a visit to a place she knew very well might have worked. But she'd have been pissed at any new experiences.

Re: Mom. Sandra Day O'Connor has recently announced that now she has Alzheimer's. But when she resigned from the Supreme Court, she did so due to her husband's dementia (or Alzheimer's, not sure.) She would visit him in his assisted living facility and he would introduce her to his girlfriend. Justice O'Connor would go, and visit, and he really didn't know her...but, boy!...he sure did like his new girlfriend.

In a Soldiers' Home...we no longer call them that here on the left coast...there won't be as many potential girlfriends. But warn Mom that he COULD fall for a female staff member! And, of course, she will need at least as much support as he's getting.

 

[Innervision]

Best of luck to you and your dad. Moves are hard with dementia as I am sure you know. Don’t be surprised if the confusion increases since he will be in a new setting. Hopefully he will be able to call on his social skills and find some old soldiers to reminisce with. Blessings to you both.