More Unwanted News…

[Spiky Bugger]

My sole surviving sane aunt is in hospice. Non-verbal, not eating. That’s how we know it’s time. She’s VERY old, so it’s not some horrific, unexpected tragedy…but still.

They took my “Second Loopiest Aunt” to see her big sister. She said her big sister’s name and my sane aunt opened her eyes. I guess that was their goodbye.

They are over 400 miles away and we’re dealing with some MrSue health issues. Amtrak COULD HAVE taken us up and back, but some tracks were closed for a while. So I’ve run out of time. Not as tragically as my sane aunt is running out of time, but then I’m not 98.

 

[Larra]

I'm so sorry! Sad to lose your (sane) family no matter how old.

 

[southernlady]

My condolences to you. It’s sad to lose family, especially the generation ahead of you.

 

[hilary1617]

I'm sorry. Big hugs to you. I hope you can say goodbyes and provide her some comfort via phone or zoom, even if she can't respond, she likely can hear.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

My condolences to you. It’s sad to lose family, especially the generation ahead of you.

Yes. AKA “The Buffer Generation.” My Second Loopiest Aunt will soon be the last surviving of the ten my grandmother gave birth to.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I'm so sorry, Sue, I hope you are able to see her again somehow.

 

[southernlady]

Yes. AKA “The Buffer Generation.” My Second Loopiest Aunt will soon be the last surviving of the ten my grandmother gave birth to.

I have none ahead of my generation on my Mothers side. But I’m not the oldest of my generation from that side. On my daddy’s side, I have one Uncle left, he’s 20 years older than me. Once he’s gone, I’m the oldest of this generation on this side.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

On my father’s side, there were 13 of us. I was the oldest girl. But then when we were both seven, my then-only boy cousin on that side was killed in a horrific train vs taxi accident. A few years later, one uncle married a lady with a son. Eventually, the parents of the killed cousin had another little boy. So although there were 14 in total, we never had more than 13 at a time. Any more, there are nine of us.

But we are so WEIRD. When my oldest boy cousin died a few years ago, his wife didn’t tell his sister. Sister was busy, figured her brother was, too. Wife/Widow finally told my second loopiest aunt…who had sworn she wouldn’t tell the sister or anyone who would tell the sister. She told me. I honored her promise; I just told the sister’s husband! (Not easy, as he’s a pediatrician and getting through his staff was a bit of a challenge.)

The next day my (girl) cousin called and said she was home alone on a Friday night. Kids all grown and gone. Husband out camping with Boy Scouts, when she heard/saw their car go into the garage. Husband said, “Sit down. We have to talk.” She said she thought that after 35 years of marriage, he was dumping her! LOL!

I’m pretty sure that each of us feels like s/he (plus siblings) are the “outsiders,” and never know what’s going on in the family. No hard feelings or anything…just a general sense of estrangement except on the VERY RARE occasions we gather. It’s so Un-Norman-Rockwell-ish. And even MORE Un-Italian-American-ish.

Oh! And for some reason, about 20 years ago, it became MY JOB to tell the sister of the cousin killed in the train vs taxi thing that her mother had died and that her dad wanted to talk to her. I made her dad SAY he wanted me to do that, which was good. Because the son, the one born after they lost their first son, was PISSED at me,…for a while. (We’re okay now.)

Humans are SO strange.

 

[southernlady]

Humans are SO strange.

Families are even more strange.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Families are even more strange.

Yes. It’s like “the parts” don’t fit together.

 

[DianaCox]

Friday I morning attended the Zoom shiva of one of the last of my father’s first cousins on his mother’s side. Eugene was 105, and the son of my father’s mother’s oldest sister. My grandmother was 91 when she died; another sister lived to 101; at least one of my father’s grandmothers lived to be 105 too.

I’m thinking it’s maybe both good news and bad news that I might outlive my retirement savings.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I thought that I’d “heard it all” when a cousin, a Mormon, mentioned that they do Family Home Evening via Zoom. But I’m pretty sure Zoom Shiva beats that.

 

[DianaCox]

Unfortunately it’s about the 5th one since Covid.
Fortunately, it allows visiting with cousins I haven’t seen in years, including cousins in Israel. And I don’t have to put on pants.

 

[JackieOnLine]

that's pretty cool.

 

[southernlady]

Unfortunately it’s about the 5th one since Covid.
Fortunately, it allows visiting with cousins I haven’t seen in years, including cousins in Israel. And I don’t have to put on pants.

Sorry for the loss. As long as you don’t forget and get up to pee.