I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.
You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run be people home schooled by day drinkers..
This virus has done what no woman had been able to do… cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!
Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors, without makeup and hair extensions!
Since the stay at home went into effect my dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands??? I never thought the comment, “ I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole,” would become a national policy but here we are!
Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter you’re not going anywhere.
I swear my fridge just said, “ What the hell do you want now?
When this is over… what meeting do I attend first… Weight Watchers or AA?
Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all looking of food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
