Any Dr. Smith (florida) patients here?

[Spiky Bugger]

Mission Failure. I tried the "I'm broke." She is now paying for the hotel.

It's a kind gesture, but.... feeling like crap after surgery with my mother breathing down my neck...thank chemistry! Alprazolam comes in an easy dissolving tablet!

Next time...just say No!

You are allowed to do that. My 41-yr old daughter is getting good at it.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Mission Failure. I tried the "I'm broke." She is now paying for the hotel.

It's a kind gesture, but.... feeling like crap after surgery with my mother breathing down my neck...thank chemistry! Alprazolam comes in an easy dissolving tablet!

But, if she pays for hotel, that IS helping.

Meanwhile, when she says you are a terrible person and ungrateful, you COULD say, "No, I'm great. But I have to take of myself because I have a mother who puts me down. Buh-bye." And hang up. And let her stew. For a couple of days AT LEAST.

If she gets pissy, remind her that YOU are the one who will pick out her nursing home.

I learned this attitude from my mother, who used to say to her husband, "Are you sure you want to keep this up, Steve? Remember who prepares your food!"

 

[Clematis]

I'm relieved to hear you are in the hospital 3 days. I was confused by what Cyndi said about length of stay. You'll be fine by the time you leave the hospital. You'll be very tired but should have little pain at that point. (I didn't and I'm old.)

Why don't you slip your mother the alprazolam? Chill her out and you won't be anxious. Think of tasks you can have her do to get her out of your hair: going to the drug store to buy you something (magazines, lotion, dental floss whatever), doing laundry, picking up Red Box DVDs, buying tea and broths at the grocery store. One week out and you should be fine to sit in a movie theatre. Do that every afternoon -- she can't talk to you for 2 hours.

Best of luck!

 

[Mermaid]

I'm going glass half full: she wanted the hotel near the hospital and not to drive in Orlando. She is paying for it. Excellent.

She is only with me the days I am in hospital and 36 hours after discharge, then she is leaving to FL Keys with my dad and I will be alone...with the room she paid for. And money to pay for home health if I need it.

She will fill the fridge with water and whatever I'm allowed to have for foods. Not antagonizing her is an art, she is a good person, just makes me nuts because we are very different personalities.

 

[hilary1617]

Sounds like you have the best of both worlds, Mermaid. Glad the plans are working out. My mom was my companion as my husband stayed at home with the kids. Mom stayed in my hospital room, mainly reading her Nook as when I wasn't sleeping or walking the hallways, I was a tremendous bore. It was wonderful having someone there to advocate for me and remember what the doctors were saying as I was basically non compos mentis due to after-effects of anesthesia layered with pain meds. All the best!

 

[Susan in Tennessee]

I'm going glass half full: she wanted the hotel near the hospital and not to drive in Orlando. She is paying for it. Excellent.

She is only with me the days I am in hospital and 36 hours after discharge, then she is leaving to FL Keys with my dad and I will be alone...with the room she paid for. And money to pay for home health if I need it.

She will fill the fridge with water and whatever I'm allowed to have for foods. Not antagonizing her is an art, she is a good person, just makes me nuts because we are very different personalities.

This sounds about as good as you could hope for! It's all going to work out splendidly, and if it doesn't you can claim you were out of your mind with zero recollection!

 

[Larra]

@Susan in Tennessee is right. You'll have plausible deniability going for you. The bottom line is that one way or another, it will all work out, you will get through this, and move forward to better health and better quality of life.