Since I'm already venting.......

[CaraOC]

people are really taking notice of my weight loss and I've even told quite a few of my surgery and I never really considered it before but I'm getting a lot of comments that although no offense is meant are still pissing me off!! A few people have commented that I'm looking great and a few more pounds off and I can start looking for a man???? Really? Yeah, this was my motivation. I wasn't looking to reverse diabetes and live a healthier less restricted life. I was secretly hoping I'd risk my life so I may appear more appealing to some random man!!! Why do some people think every single woman needs to find a man, ANY man. Is it beyond comprehension that I'm not looking for a miracle person to "complete me"? Also they are implying as a fat chick you are not acceptably attractive. Rant over.

 

[Susan in Tennessee]

Would infuriate me! I swear, people do NOT consider the full meaning of what they say half the time! Nice to have your new look being noticed though.

 

[southernlady]

Many people have zero filter attached between brain and mouth!

 

[DSRIGGS]

Fuck the stupid bitch(s).

BTW, some of guys are pretty good ddude.

 

[newanatomy]

In the same realm but different: I gave some clothes that were too big for me to my son's girlfriend's mother. The mother told her daughter to tell me that when I gain my weight back, she will return the clothes. Nice, thanks for the vote of confidence.

 

[Kate]

I was told that as well when people started to notice my weight loss. Oh and when I cut my hair short. Two different people flat out asked me if I had given up on looking for a man when I cut my hair. I just smiled and quoted a line from a country song by Randy Travis "Time can play tricks on a body make a young girl's brown hair turn gray. Honey I don't care I ain't in love with your hair and it could all fall out and I'd love you anyway."

 

[DianaCox]

I've never used this, but answering an inappropriate comment or question with an icy stare and the retort "Why would you say that to me?" has been suggested as a way to stop such comments and questions.

 

[DSRIGGS]

It is amazing how freaking stupid and rude some people behave. Another smart assed retort would be, has the psychiatric community found a cure for your severe affliction of shit- for-brains-itis?

 

[k9ophile]

Stupid abounds. I'm not a real woman due to my history of military service and lack of children. Yes, all real women would never be in the military and must pop out babies perpetually. I find a good eye roll and swift walk in the other direction is most effective.

 

[Susan in Tennessee]

@k9ophile, how insensitive and stupid people are! I've been victim to the not having babies part of this one for many years. It was, though,outdone in my personal scoreboard of hurtful comments a few years back during my stepson's diagnosis with Stage 4 melanoma in February 2009 and subsequent death in March 2010 at the age of 39. Now keep in mind, Clint was in grade school when I met his father and married two years later, and my husband had fulltime custody of his son, so I skipped labor, potty training, etc. and went straight to slightly older years, the pre-teen and teens! We lived together as a family, I did mother things for and with him, and loved him as my son, which to me he was. It hurt so much when many more people than I would have ever expected to be so heartless would say things to me during his illness and afterwards such as, "how's Bill's son doing" or "please tell Bill we're thinking of HIM",or my standout favorite "we know Bill must be so heart-broken". I wanted to scream at them that it was killing me too,what about me,aren't you sorry I'm hurting? I was ONLY a stepmom in their eyes. Wow, sorry, apparently this has bothered me more than I realized as it just boiled out of me right now.

 

[Charris]

In the same realm but different: I gave some clothes that were too big for me to my son's girlfriend's mother. The mother told her daughter to tell me that when I gain my weight back, she will return the clothes. Nice, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Old BITCH! How freaking rude.

 

[DSRIGGS]

@k9ophile, how insensitive and stupid people are! I've been victim to the not having babies part of this one for many years. It was, though,outdone in my personal scoreboard of hurtful comments a few years back during my stepson's diagnosis with Stage 4 melanoma in February 2009 and subsequent death in March 2010 at the age of 39. Now keep in mind, Clint was in grade school when I met his father and married two years later, and my husband had fulltime custody of his son, so I skipped labor, potty training, etc. and went straight to slightly older years, the pre-teen and teens! We lived together as a family, I did mother things for and with him, and loved him as my son, which to me he was. It hurt so much when many more people than I would have ever expected to be so heartless would say things to me during his illness and afterwards such as, "how's Bill's son doing" or "please tell Bill we're thinking of HIM",or my standout favorite "we know Bill must be so heart-broken". I wanted to scream at them that it was killing me too,what about me,aren't you sorry I'm hurting? I was ONLY a stepmom in their eyes. Wow, sorry, apparently this has bothered me more than I realized as it just boiled out of me right now.

Oh honey I am so sorry for the loss of YOUR son and all that stupidity.

 

[Charris]

@k9ophile they were obviously azz holes. Most mothers don't consider their mates children not to be theirs. No matter when they come into our lives we consider them our children. We generally don't even call them our step children they are our sons and daughters. That person must not understand the bond mothers make with children we didn't birth. For that reason I try not to date men with minor children because when or if you break up its devastating when the contact with the child stops. That happened to me and I felt as if it were a death. It was so painful. I never want to experience that with a child again

 

[DianaCox]

@k9ophile, how insensitive and stupid people are! I've been victim to the not having babies part of this one for many years. It was, though,outdone in my personal scoreboard of hurtful comments a few years back during my stepson's diagnosis with Stage 4 melanoma in February 2009 and subsequent death in March 2010 at the age of 39. Now keep in mind, Clint was in grade school when I met his father and married two years later, and my husband had fulltime custody of his son, so I skipped labor, potty training, etc. and went straight to slightly older years, the pre-teen and teens! We lived together as a family, I did mother things for and with him, and loved him as my son, which to me he was. It hurt so much when many more people than I would have ever expected to be so heartless would say things to me during his illness and afterwards such as, "how's Bill's son doing" or "please tell Bill we're thinking of HIM",or my standout favorite "we know Bill must be so heart-broken". I wanted to scream at them that it was killing me too,what about me,aren't you sorry I'm hurting? I was ONLY a stepmom in their eyes. Wow, sorry, apparently this has bothered me more than I realized as it just boiled out of me right now.

OMFG - Susan, that just breaks my heart. I have two stepdaughters I met at ages 18 and 13, and it would just crush the life out of me if something happened to them. Being a mother is not merely biology, and I hope you focus more on to how your SON felt about you - those other people are just massive idiots.

 

[hilary1617]

My usual response to thoughtless remarks is silence and an icy stare. I try to make my eye-lock / pregnant pause combo last as uncomfortably long as possible before I turn away and without a word leave the room. The silent treatment is usually so effective an apology will be forthcoming well before I move my feet.

Susan, I'm so sorry for your loss and for those who hit you when you were down. Cara, unfortunately, sadly many/most post-bariatric ladies have shared that experience. Ugh.