Need to vent!!

[Brandy Rediker]

I'm really need to vent right now. I am getting tired of telling anyone about my decision to have WLS, specially family. I love my brothers but I can't stand when they feel the need to tell me "You can't lose this weight on your own what makes you think you can do it with WLS?" Today I told my brother that I submitted my mother and I's health questions and insurance with Dr. Sudan's office. My brother's like, "you know you and mom likes to whine about everything, your gonna make dad miserable taking care of mom and mom's gonna whine because she wants to eat food she can't have. I feel for dad and James." He then proceeded on that I (me) like to pile my plate up with food and I don't know when to stop that I'm just losing a battle that I will never win. Ughhhh!! How determined I am to show them, that yes it will be hard but NO WAY IN HELL am I gonna whine over anything. I've had 3 C-sections, a partial hysterectomy, and my appendix removed never once during or after my surgeries did I complain. I told him to do his research before judging us on how we will react after having our surgeries. I will show him and my husband that I can do this and I will prove them wrong. Okay I'm done venting! Thank you for reading!!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Suggestion, if you know how to be an obnoxious ass...

"Hey! Wait a minute. Will you write each of your negatve comments on a separate piece of this paper?"

"Why? Because later, I want to hand them back you, so you can eat them...or shove them up your ass."

 

[brooklyngirl]

Wow. Reading things like this make me feel very thankful that the only person to give me a hard time was my very well meaning, but very old fashioned grandmother. Don't be afraid to put someone like that in their place, no matter who they are. I told my grandmother that I was disappointed in her for knowing first hand how it felt to struggle with weight (and the myriad things that come along with it) for her whole life and that she should be the last person to criticize me for going the surgical route. If your brother has never struggled with weight, then let him know that you're disappointed in the fact that he's not being supportive during a difficult time in your life, a time when both you and your mom need the support of loved ones, and that you had expected more from him. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but the best thing is to surround yourself with as much positivity as possible and don't waste your time or energy on people that are going to drag you down emotionally.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Well, hers is technically a more appropriate response.



But mine is more fun! LOL

 

[Munchkin]

Why settle? Do both. First guilt the crap out of them and then give them the pieces of paper.

 

[Brandy Rediker]

I like all of the advices you guys have given me. I will def. do what Spiky Bugger said to do. Hahaha!! Just seeing the look on their faces when I do will be priceless...You guys are great!! Thanks again!!

 

[MyNewLife]

Brandy, I wasted so much of my life listening to people who thought they knew what was best for me or not having surgery because it would put to much stress and worry on my mom. I wasted years and I'm sure took years off my life by waiting till I was almost 50 to do what I looked into almost 30 years ago. Don't worrys about what others thing and if you hurt, say so. F them. I never took a pain med after I got home but YMMV.

Don't waste your life because of the naysayers. Stand your ground and do what you need to do for you.

 

[JackieOnLine]

vent on , Brandy!

you can say anything you want to them but - in the end - if you are happy with your decision it's OK not to bother: you don't have to respond, you don't have to justify, you don't have to educate them.

you can just smile and let them be wrong. and that quote from your brother?

having WLS IS losing weight "on your own" - it is not cheating, it is a legitimate tool that you are wise enough to have found despite our society's stupid prejudice against it.

:qgaraduate:

 

[Lori]

Ugh! That's why I didn't tell anyone this time. Just my DH, and my boss. I even lied to my parents. Gotta do what ya gotta do. Ignore them. Anyone who thinks being MO is our own lazy fault is ignorant. If we could fix this, we would have already!!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

@Brandy Rediker

Last night, I watched a remake of a 1925 movie, which itself was a screen adaptation of an Oscar Wilde play. And when I heard this, I thought of your situation:


Meg Windermere: Can you imagine what people would say?
Mrs. Erlynne: Well, if we're always guided by other people's thoughts what's the point of having our own?

 

[Brandy Rediker]

That's so true!! I'm not gonna let my brother or family take away my thunder, this is for me and me alone!! I don't need their opinions, their "you can't do this" attitude! You guys are great!! Thank you again!

 

[Sheanie]

@Brandy Rediker , I guess I'm a lot older than you. Either that, or I have even more judgmental siblings. I put up with my sister telling me how to raise my children (she had none at the time), how to eat, how to diet, how to do every GD thing in my life. Around the age of 40, I did something that permanently pissed her off. She spanked my son and I snapped the proverbial twig. So when the time came for my DS, I told my husband and my 3 grown children. That was it. Not my parents, closest friend, in-laws or siblings. I already knew it would just elicit stupid, selfish, uneducated and jealous comments that would only serve to piss me off. My father was dying during my pre-op diet. He died in July, my surgery was the next month. In pre-op, getting my IV inserted, we got a phone call from our daughter, saying she ripped her ACL completely out (drinking accident on her birthday the night before). I did not cancel my surgery. Went ahead, never thought twice about all the shit going on that maybe should have distracted me from my goal of saving my life with the DS. Kept my secret from everyone, until......sister (see above) had a SECOND funeral for our father, 4 days post-op. My entire family attended, including my in-laws (all 30-some of them) but not me. I'm sure I was the topic of copious gossip. I don't care. In the grand scheme of things, only the people who matter to me are still in my life. All of a sudden, in my 50's, I have learned to shed stupid and annoying people like a snake sheds its skin. And the great thing about losing a ton of weight is that I am now invisible to those people. I can walk right past them in the store and they have no idea who I am. My own sister walks right past me now, and every time it happens, I get a big chuckle. She was one of those who said WLS never works. She's bigger than I was at surgery. So there.

 

[Sheanie]

Oh, and the SECOND funeral? She never gave anyone notice beforehand. We read about it in the paper and got a phone call the night before from another sibling.

 

[JackieOnLine]

who has two funerals, I don't get it.

All of a sudden, in my 50's, I have learned to shed stupid and annoying people like a snake sheds its skin.

love it!!

 

[Sheanie]

who has two funerals, I don't get it.



love it!!

The kind of person who has two funerals is the kind of person you read in Dear Abby. You know the type: They are the ONLY one taking care of the elderly parents, the other siblings are USELESS and LAZY. There's a reason for that. The siblings can't do anything that measures up to her standards.

I always tell people, there are many facets to every story. Everyone has a different viewpoint of the problem, and nobody has a corner on the truth.

My sister was the bird in the nest that pushed every other baby bird out, so she could get all the parental benefits and attention.