Just because it fits....

Elizabeth N.

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.....Doesn't mean you should wear it.

This is a vital lesson for some folks to learn as the weight comes off. When we were big, we might have had to just wear what we could get to fit, more or less. Then when OPTIONS arrive, it can be incredible.

The Juniors department has this irresistible draw for a lot of women. I went there, too :). It didn't take long for me to get tired of getting cold kidneys from the gap between my waistband and my shirt, so I got over that phase rapidly.

Now, if you're, oh I dunno, 25 and you want to play in teenager clothes, it might work. For yours truly who is a Woman of a Certain Age, it's dumb.

My advice, which is thankfully free, about experimenting with clothing:

1. Take multiple shopping trips, and take a different Trusted Person with you each time. That way you will get a variety of opinions, BUT you will have someone there who will say, 'SHIT NO, YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT IN PUBLIC!' if needed, OR who will encourage you to be a little braver or bolder in your choices.

2. If someone says it's too big, believe them. Clothes are not supposed to be baggy. If you hold out your arms and there's a bunch of space between your armpit and your shirt sleeve, the shirt is too big. If you are counting on the flare of your hips to hold up your pants, they are too big.

3. Even while you are losing weight, ladies, GET BRAS THAT FIT RIGHT. Go get professionally fitted. You might decide you don't need a boob job (yet, anyway) when you discover that the right bra will put the girls where they belong.

4. Examine your clothing from MANY angles, not just head on in the mirror. Bend over. Sit down. Cross your legs. Move around. Get into the positions you normally get into throughout the day and check out what happens with your clothing.

Mr. EN has a particular pet peeve that he wishes me to mention: Professional Woman with a top that neatly covers the boobage, but only JUST, when standing or sitting straight, but as soon as she leans over to so much as grab a sheet of paper from the printer, shows a lot more information than he ever wanted to know. This could be avoided with a little bit of exercise in front of the mirror at the store.

5. If someone tells you, "You can wear anything you want if it makes you happy," back WAY WAY UP and consider the source. I ADORE my Testicle Festival t shirts. They make me smile, and I LOVE the looks on people's faces when they read them.

If I showed up at work in one.....'Nuff said.

So, WHY is this not as obvious when it comes to that denim miniskirt, little stretch satin tank top and spike heeled ankle boots that you, a woman with some wisdom lines on her face and a few squiggly lines (some white, some blue) on the backs of her knees, wants to wear out to a party with people you usually see only in the office?

I am also the woman who showed up at a DSer Ugly Christmas Sweater party dressed as a sparkly silver ornament, complete with blinking light earrings and flashing tiara over bright red curly wig. Silver stretch lame leggings and a vintage silver sequined disco dress, and mega spike heeled boots. Pictures exist somewhere on Facebook :).

Even IF that getup still fit, which it doesn't, I wouldn't wear it anywhere EXCEPT to another such DSer party. There's a time and a place for stuff. So please, if someone tries to be a Voice of Reason when you are busy pushing the outer limits of attire, stop and think about it for a bit.

Okay, who's next?
 
I LOVE this!!

As to #4, my son's band director had on a sparkly drapey jacket the other day. She looked good from the front, but she spent the whole concert with people staring at her back. And from the back, all we saw was her fat rolls. She's not a huge person, but the jacket did her no favors. Look at it from every angle. My mama used to always say to me, I don't care what other people are wearing, that's not flattering on you. I just got indignant then, but now I get it and I'm trying to teach my daughter the same lessons.

The only caveat I would say is this-- don't be so self conscious about your loose skin that you make yourself uncomfortable. If you're going to a pool or the beach, wear a damn bathing suit and screw anyone who talks about you. If you're walking around Florida in 95 degree heat, wear shorts...wear a sleeveless shirt, and who the hell cares what other people see? Maybe you wouldn't wear a bikini, shorts, or sleeveless shirt to the office or to church, but be comfortable at the beach! Like EN said, there's a time and a place.
 
Wait. Did you just see my Key West bikini photos or something? Damn it, now I gotta go reset my privacy settings AGAIN.
 
I was just thinking yesterday when I went by the mall I need to find out which shops women my age shop at. The last time I wasn't in plus sizes was when I was in high school. They only other women's stores I know about are the ones my 22 yr old daughter shops at, lol.

When I see a woman wearing something that just does not look good on her I always say "she needs better girlfriends". Then I remind my friends no matter how much I love an outfit if it doesn't look good they must tell me.
 
My favorite places to shop (besides local boutiques) are Ann Taylor, Loft, Coldwater Creek (although sometimes they skew a bit old for me), White House Black Market (sometimes too revealing for me), Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, and department stores.
 
I have tubs of cloths I am worried about the bounce back so I have 12-6 in tubs and am wearing 4-2's. We will see what happens...
 
UGH! I have such a hard time with this... The entire time I was young I was so fat that I wore anything black that would fit. I finally get a body that will fit in normal clothes and now I'm too old to wear any of them. So back to black ugly clothes....

Sometimes you just can't win!
 
UGH! I have such a hard time with this... The entire time I was young I was so fat that I wore anything black that would fit. I finally get a body that will fit in normal clothes and now I'm too old to wear any of them. So back to black ugly clothes....

Sometimes you just can't win!
I don't think that has to be true. You can be stylish in a sophisticated way without dressing like a 21 year old. I wear a lot of black, but that's just the New Yorker in me. I'll always have spice :)
 
I agree with Brooklyngirl. Now that I'm older I can afford stylish cloths. At 51 I feel I am stylish and hip the classics never go out of style and if they are made well they last a long time too.
 
I was just thinking yesterday when I went by the mall I need to find out which shops women my age shop at. The last time I wasn't in plus sizes was when I was in high school. They only other women's stores I know about are the ones my 22 yr old daughter shops at, lol.

When I see a woman wearing something that just does not look good on her I always say "she needs better girlfriends". Then I remind my friends no matter how much I love an outfit if it doesn't look good they must tell me.

Chicos, Coldwater Creek, Ann Taylor, Talbot's, Lands End.....
 
UGH! I have such a hard time with this... The entire time I was young I was so fat that I wore anything black that would fit. I finally get a body that will fit in normal clothes and now I'm too old to wear any of them. So back to black ugly clothes....

Sometimes you just can't win!
Where's my wet noodle so I can beat you with it? WHERE IS IT WRITTEN than a certain age requires black ugly clothes?
 

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