Don's Freakout Palace

Photobucket is being stupid so I'll have to edit in the picture later.
12%20months.jpg

12 months
185.8 lbs

Not sure entirely how to feel a year out. It's been a bumpy ride at some points but I have gotten off so easy on complications so far. I have days when I wonder what I was thinking and days when I wish I had done this 10 years sooner. I'm a little disappointed with my weight loss but I am exactly at my preop goal. I guess we always want another 10 pounds. I'm still shrinking which is kinda strange since the scale has been bouncing around in a range for a couple months. I've gone done a couple ring sizes and the one I am wearing now is pretty loose most days. Have went from a 50 inch waist to a 34 and probably should be in a 32. Right now I'm just wearing a belt and pulling my drawers up as needed.

My body still kinda freaks me out on a regular basis with all the blood vessels and bones and ligaments and "inside stuff" I can see now. I also regularly freak out when I get something new in the mail and take it out of the package"I'll never fit in that, it looks like a kid's clothes" and then I put it on and it fits. Happens over and over.

Going on this journey has changed me in some ways but I'm still the same person with a lot of the same failings with food that I had preop. I still have work to do so the journey is not close to done for me.
 
Last edited:
Photobucket is being stupid so I'll have to edit in the picture later.

12 months
185.8 lbs

Not sure entirely how to feel a year out. It's been a bumpy ride at some points but I have gotten off so easy on complications so far. I have days when I wonder what I was thinking and days when I wish I had done this 10 years sooner. I'm a little disappointed with my weight loss but I am exactly at my preop goal. I guess we always want another 10 pounds. I'm still shrinking which is kinda strange since the scale has been bouncing around in a range for a couple months. I've gone done a couple ring sizes and the one I am wearing now is pretty loose most days. Have went from a 50 inch waist to a 34 and probably should be in a 32. Right now I'm just wearing a belt and pulling my drawers up as needed.

My body still kinda freaks me out on a regular basis with all the blood vessels and bones and ligaments and "inside stuff" I can see now. I also regularly freak out when I get something new in the mail and take it out of the package"I'll never fit in that, it looks like a kid's clothes" and then I put it on and it fits. Happens over and over.

Going on this journey has changed me in some ways but I'm still the same person with a lot of the same failings with food that I had preop. I still have work to do so the journey is not close to done for me.
You reached your goal in a year's time and you still have another year in the magic window. You're doing GREAT!
 
Last edited:
My body still kinda freaks me out on a regular basis with all the blood vessels and bones and ligaments and "inside stuff" I can see now. I also regularly freak out when I get something new in the mail and take it out of the package"I'll never fit in that, it looks like a kid's clothes" and then I put it on and it fits. Happens over and over

it just takes more time to adjust - the brain can't keep up. Your progress has been fantastic!
 
13%20months.jpg

13 months
181 pounds

I'm late doing my 13 month update. Still plugging along. Been trying to cut down on my carb intake and the weight is slowly coming off again. Changed medical plans so I've been waiting for money to build up in my HSA for labs, I'll need to get them done soon. Wife keeps thinking I look yellow so probably need to check my liver numbers too. Seem to have settled into an uneasy peace with the 'roids. Bowels alternate between a day of almost no motion in the ocean and then a day of going every hour or so. I have taken to adding a bit of olive oil to my eggs in the morning which had things back to normal for a week or so but now just seems to keep the worst at bay.

Eating is kinda odd. Stuff that used to work well doesn't now. Early in my day I can eat more but later on I have very little room before I get overfull. Fighting a bit with fatigue still, trying to keep out of the carb doom loop ( I get really sleepy at work so I eat carbs to stay awake which works for half an hour to an hour but then I sugar crash and have to get another hit).

Did another wardrobe purge. All the 34 pants went into storage. Most of the socks went too. I'm wearing wool socks constantly now as I'm usually freezing. Once of my "someday" projects is to find a good pair of warm slippers that will work with my duck feet.
 
I get really sleepy at work so I eat carbs to stay awake which works for half an hour to an hour but then I sugar crash and have to get another hit

I never get the carb/sugar "rush", I ONLY get tired from sugar.

but I get the cycle, thing, sugar makes me crave more in about 30 minutes. also, salt and then sugar and then salt.


but, WOW, you are looking light-weight Don!
 
It looks like your body composition is changing. You look very different from the Dec pic. You have more skin in the Dec pic than in this one. Or is it because one arm is up?

Either way, good going!
 
Highs and Lows:
Have been in Medium shirts for a while. I'm a sucker for a sale though, and took a flyer on some small shirts. They fit. It was strange though. When I've sized down before I would always goggle at the little thing I was holding in my hands and say "that's a kids' size, there's no way I'll fit". Then I'd try it and it would fit. This time the shirts didn't look tiny to me, they just looked like....shirts. It was very anticlimactic. Both the Wifey and Tilly thought they looked good. So I guess I am wearing a Small now.

Finally stopped procrastinating and called the doctor a couple weeks ago to schedule an appointment, can't get in until May 2. I've been concerned about "flying blind" on my vites, so I bit the bullet and used Direct Labs. I'm sure Insurance won't pay anything for it, but I'm hoping to get it counted towards my honkin' annual deductible. That way I can do any course corrections before I see the doc and hopefully can get any problem areas retested then. Took a day off of vites and did a 12 hour fast so I was feeling pretty ragged by the time the blood draw happened. Holy heck there were a lot of vials to fill with blood! I'd heard about that but wasn't really prepared for how many samples they had to take. I was a big boy and didn't cry (I am horribly squeamish about blood and I think I must have looked pretty green in the gills before she finished because she kept asking if I was okay).
 
Last edited:
How do you feel mentally? I kinda feel like I’m coming out of some fog/depression/something if that makes any sense. Look at your arms! And ribs!
I have been fighting a lot with "brain fog." I am very forgetful now. I've always been a bit of an absent minded professor but lately it's been turned up to 11. In terms of mood, some days I feel pretty light. Doing some intense work that gets the blood pumping can give me a "runner's high."

I'm still depressive, though, and also have had some pretty low days. Even though I'm still shrinking the scale hasn't really gone anywhere in a while, so that's been rough at times. My body image is kinda jacked. I feel really fat sitting on the can in the morning looking down at all the skin rolls around my midsection and how wide my thighs look. Standing clothed looking in a mirror head on I think I look fine, just typical dad bod.

It bothers me how judgmental I feel toward heavy people sometimes. Especially when I realize I was bigger than the person who I'm silently casting shade on.
 
Glad to see on another post that you just checked your vitamin levels. You could be anemic or have some other deficiency that is contributing to brain fog. I get foggy when my iron tanks. You look great. Stop being mean to you! Try to immediately find one thing you like about others - looking for a positive can counteract one's drive to judge. But most importantly know you are good, and while appearance doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things, you look very handsome and "normal" in size - you are definitely your own worst critic.
 
I have been fighting a lot with "brain fog." I am very forgetful now. I've always been a bit of an absent minded professor but lately it's been turned up to 11. In terms of mood, some days I feel pretty light. Doing some intense work that gets the blood pumping can give me a "runner's high."

I'm still depressive, though, and also have had some pretty low days. Even though I'm still shrinking the scale hasn't really gone anywhere in a while, so that's been rough at times. My body image is kinda jacked. I feel really fat sitting on the can in the morning looking down at all the skin rolls around my midsection and how wide my thighs look. Standing clothed looking in a mirror head on I think I look fine, just typical dad bod.

It bothers me how judgmental I feel toward heavy people sometimes. Especially when I realize I was bigger than the person who I'm silently casting shade on.
Check your Vitamin B levels re: brain fog.
 
Did your lab work come back yet, how are your levels? I hope you are doing well with the crazy grocery business in these crazy times!!!
 

Latest posts

Back
Top