13 y.o. DSer posting desperate plight

DianaCox

Bad Cop
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This post is on OH - this time. Please be aware that this poster is well-known in the DS community. Karen (that's her real name - she has a zillion handles, but it's always obvious who she really is) is for real, unfortunately, at least to some extent - but is incapable of accepting any help. People have reached out to her many times over the years, have met with her in real life, have brought her vitamins and contacted doctors - but it is not help she wants, just attention. She has been complaining of being in severe medical condition for YEARS - almost continuously since she had her DS - and dissing the DS and what it has done to her. But it's hard to believe she is really that badly off, or she would have been dead by now.

There is NOTHING anyone can do to help her. I'm not saying you SHOULDN'T do it - just warning you that it is almost certain to be a pointless waste of time, because she won't do anything to help herself no matter what support is offered, and you will likely end up frustrated and angry.

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/duodenalswitch/conversations/topics/287263
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/duodenalswitch/search/messages?query=happy2knowU2

Here are a few posts from that (open) website:

Nov 27, 2010
This is the same Karen who whined and complained that she was "still fat" at 122 lbs and begged her surgeon to make her stomach smaller or shorten her cc, I can't remember which, and SUPPOSEDLY he did. So if she hated her DS that bad, why didn't he just reverse her DS at that time, this has now been several years. She posted often under happy2knowu2 or something like that, and if you do a search of the name that Steve listed, you will find many, many posts. Always begging for anyone who has experienced EXACTLY what she has to please contact her. Always the same. I agree with Steve in this, if things were as horribly dire as she said, how on earth can she still be here typing this stuff? I remember her posts as far back as 2002, when I was a new post op and she would try to scare the crud out of people contemplating the surgery. I also remember her complaining about how she couldn't stop "eating cookies, even all night" because she would wake up with crumbs on her nightstand, and please, if this happened to you, please contact her. Crazy stuff. I have emails from her from 2006 saying that her colectomy was very, very soon, and that she was going to have a bag forever because of her horrible constipation. Well, that's been about 4 or 5 years now, so which is it? Doesn't make sense, there is far more here than we are able to help her with. The kind of help she needs she will NOT find from an online forum. Also, it is true, she often said she never took her vitamins, never was compliant with labwork, etc. Now her latest post blames her DS on her upcoming eviction. It's just sad. For those of you who are newer here, please don't type up the posts about how mean we are. Seriously - do a search first on all history of her posts and you will see the many, many hours of responses she received until she just frustrated everyone so much because she would argue with every single bit of advice given.

I don't understand how she ever passed a psych eval, unless maybe her surgeon at the time didn't require one? I'm not so sure Karen knows what she wants, or why on earth every single thing in her life is blamed on her DS surgery, IF she even had it. I'm just not sure anymore.

And this is from someone who knows her in real life:

Nov 26, 2010
Steve, I know Karen personally. She lives near me. Sadly she's been completely non compliant as far as supplements and bloodwork for last 8 years since her DS. Aside from 2 serious bowel obstructions, She's suffering with many problems caused from not taking her vitamins. Osteo anemia eyesight broken bones memory loss..hair loss, all of the things we were warned about. Karen blames the malabsorption caused by the DS for her issues, but the real problem is that she never had any DS aftercare and still after much advice and guidance doesn't have a grasp on how to maintain a DS lifestyle. It was a mistake for her to have been given the DS and clearly the pre surg psych clearance was an ineffective tool in this case. I feel bad for Karen. She's not a bad person. She needs help much more than any list online can offer There are many other issues clearly, She is a troubled one. Please all - take the proper vites and get your bloodwork done regularly or you can really suffer terribly once your vitamin levels are fully depleted.

And even medical people have gotten involved:

Nov 29, 2010
Karen, all you need to do is to have the surgery reversed. I certainly believe that you did not take your supplements as you should have or you would not be in this position. I do know that there are others like you who do get into a lot of trouble with their health because they are not diligent in taking supplements and in having their blood checked routinely. You cannot blame the surgery. And yes it can be expensive taking all these vitamins and having the blood work but that is something we all know up front and cannot blame the surgery for. I am sorry for your situation and I do not believe you if you say you have done all these things because it is not humanly possible for you to be in this position if you had done all you needed to do. You have a human body just like the rest of us and all human bodies respond the same way to most things. Yes there are differences that is why we get our blood checked and we all take different amounts of supplements. But if you are taking what you need for your particular body then all should be right.

I pray that you will have the surgery reversed.

Kathryn M. Lewis, MD

And

Dec 13, 2010
We have learned that Karen's complaints and cries for attention over the years were not, as we had suspected all along, Muenchausen by Internet, but real and a direct consequence of her almost total failure to take supplements. She has offered all manner of excuses for her non-compliance, but the post-WLS body requires strict adherence to supplementation and not excuses. One list member who lives nearby has written that she has brought supplements to Karen, but that Karen complained that she could not swallow pills.

It may be too late for Karen, but all those who have not been compliant really need to pay attention to Karen's plight. Your health is largely in YOUR hands. Neglect it, and be prepared to pay a terrible price!

Thanks,

Sent: Mon, December 13, 2010 11:22:35 AM
Subject: Re: READ!: [duodenalswitch] re vit d and calcium

Honestly, Steve, I think it's BOTH.

Karen, we responded to this exact same post about 2 weeks ago.

Karen posts this stuff, never waits around to see what we offer, then comes back

every year or two and starts over, hoping to scare the crap out of the newbies.

I still remember vividly her having her doctor go in AGAIN to make her stomach
smaller, too. She wanted a revision because she felt "Fat" at 129 lbs. Her
height continually changed. She said she was 5 ft. 3. Then she was 5 feet even.
Then she was 4 ft. 11 when people got upset at her saying "fat" at that weight.

So I'm really not so sure where the truth lies anymore. I mean if you were
suffering, not taking any supplements, why on earth would you have a revision to
lose more weight and have more malabsorption? It doesn't make sense.

Anything we used to offer to help always had an excuse or an argument. She even
went after me in private emails. She may be surprised to know I still have them!

So please don't be alarmed, for those who have never met our (karen in ny) yet.
Total noncompliance, 100%.

Mindy
 
I just read her story on OH. I can't believe she let herself get that bad. Just reading what she wrote makes you wonder if she's okay in the head. Why do that to your body and then let it go and cause more problems for yourself. I honestly can't feel sorry for her she brought this on herself. Hell I worry about affording my vitamins when the time comes but I would never let myself go like that and cause more harm to myself. WOW!! is all I can say.
 
She hasn't been right in the head since the beginning. She is a NURSE (or was) - she knew better. She's now writing more nonsense about how the DS is killing her - no, your noncompliance is killing you.
 
I read her OH post. It sounds like she's having some serious mental issues. Very sad and it looks like a few people have been hooked by the post.
 
Just to be clear - I wish there was something that could be done to help her. But she was dying three years ago - according to her posts - so I find it very hard to believe that (1) she really is in that bad of shape; and/or (2) that there is anything we can do to help at this point. I've watched people try to help her over the years, and all it does when she makes these posts is rile up the board members where she posts and create drama. She does NOT want real help.

She has hated her DS from the git-go, and determined that she is going to be an example of why it is bad - and to suck message boards dry of attention from time to time - I have to wonder where she has been and whom she has been emotionally draining in the last 3+ years.

@clpeltz: thank you for your post on OH. You may get flack for being straightforward with her - feel free to post the links and quotes above to let the OH DS forum know who/what they are dealing with.
 
IIRC, her name is Karen Kalstein, and she may even have once been a psychiatric nurse. Google Happy2knowU2.

Here's a thread from 2001:
http://www.remedyspot.com/content/topic/5699507-re-re-duodenalswitch-is-a-psychiatric-nurse/

Here is a letter she forwarded to someone trying to scare them off of getting a DS in 2001 - it is apparently from her surgeon, Gagner (it was confusing with the other person's responses to Karen embedded in the letter from Gagner, so I deleted what were clearly not Gagner's comments): http://www.remedyspot.com/content/topic/5699321-no-subject/
Dear Ms. Kalstein, What is intolerable is your constant, persistent contacts by e-mail or phone to me and to many members of my team. You have to learn to use regular channels like everybody else. That is, come to regular postop visits and ask questions then etc.. Go to support group and talk to other patients etc...On two occasions I have told you to come to the emergency room and on both occasions you have not done so, with adverse consequences the first time. I have never seen a patient so demanding postop, which brings the question that your level of anxiety may request professional help. Paging a surgeon has to be an emergency, not asking some ordinary questions. I even had calls at my home late at night. This has to stop. I have thousands of patients and if this was a regular thing by them I would be constantly on the phone and not be able to operate and spend time with my family. Do not get me wrong, you are my patient and I have the duty to take care of you to the best of my ability. But this care has to be done with reasonable boundaries. Please make an appointment on Wednesdays to see me, ask all the questions you need, make a list. You also need to see a therapist.It seems as though all the others in the group feel the same way. Writing to the group for help will not get you better. It seems that everyone has their share of post-op problems but they deal with them.
This has been going on since the beginning with her.

Oh, and she apparently posts duckface selfies on FB: https://www.facebook.com/karen.kalstein?fref=ts
 
Diana,

Is this the one that used to post drunk with all the smilies. She was always sure she was still fat and used to be a model or something?

Lord help those that slip through the cracks of the psych eval...
 
Any chance she started out your standard everyday crazy and due to non-compliance moved into Wernike-Korsakoff? Newbies should know that this issue is more common in alcoholics and RnY patients, because of the vomiting and B-1 deficiencies...but no matter HOW you don't get B-1, a deficiency can be a real issue. (I know you vets know what it is...link is here for new folks)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernicke–Korsakoff_syndrome
 
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I think she's just a straight-up nutjob, with a Munchausen-by-Internet back.

She has claimed to be at death's door for YEARS. Well, dammit, when are you going to put us out of your misery? Every time she does this, she gets people to waste time paying attention to her, trying to help her, when she really is Sue Wide-Ass-Mark in the first person.
 
@calendargirl - that was a very nice helpful post - but falls on deaf ears. I know it feels heartless, but - she's not listening. Just hearing herself whine.

At 5:05 she posted: "I. Am. Hungry."
At 6:13 she posted: "The. Part. Of. The. Stomach. Removed. Is. Where the. Hunger. Hormone. Was. I'm. Chronically. Nauseated I. Hate. All. Food."

Which is it?

She's a drug addict looking for a mark, a sucker to scam. This is her a few months ago - she doesn't look well, but she doesn't look like she's dying either, nor like she has been dying for years - she looks like a nearly 60 year old drug addict:
1239609_1382292808669816_18283990_n.jpg
 

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