Travel - sharing one bathroom

[Settledownnow]

We really need to have a forum dedicated to BMs -

I would like to visit a friend but the catch is staying in my friend's tiny one bedroom apt and sharing the bathroom. I have declined visits because I foresee only trouble sharing the bathroom (time spent, smelly bm's stinky up the apt., messy toilet bowel, etc.). I need to wake up early to poop and friend needs to wake up early to get ready for work. It would hurt my friend's feelings if I stayed in a hotel. I know I can watch what I eat but it does not control everything. My friend is aware in a very general way about the WLS but I never got into any details (and do not want to).

I need a pep talk and some strategies. Help.

 

[Susan in Tennessee]

I understand completely and have had similar fears and problems. First, I'm assuming it's a female gal-pal, not a guy. I see no way around having a heart to heart with her, explaining a little more in depth that your morning bathroom time is very important to your new anatomy and would conflict with her getting ready for work. Mention that since "she's such a great friend I know you'll understand". But be firm and say that in order to visit, that's the way it has to be. If she can't understand, I'd say she's not such a good friend.

 

[Caitlunn]

I had to recently have this conversation with my friends. It's bad enough with just the one bathroom in my home. When we were making plans for the get together, they thought it was weird that I asked how many bathrooms he had at his place but, whatever.

I'd rather pay for the room than have to fight 4 people for the toilet in the morning. And I'm sure my friends would rather I get the room instead of crapping my pants at their house

 

[southernlady]

Try two DS'ers and my BFF in one hotel room for a week long trip. We did it and she was VERY aware of our bathroom habits before hand. We all survived and she is STILL my BFF.

 

[Munchkin]

Just give yourself a room sharing phobia!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

A few years before my BFF died, she came to the L.A. area to visit, but stayed in a local hotel. I was kind of miffed, but eventually got over it.

The last visit she made was to our home in a small town in the Las Vegas area. There was an event going on and no hotel rooms available nearby. If there had been, I'd have sent her to one! She was developing dementia by then and she had back pain, probably from the cancer she was refusing to have diagnosed. Her way of dealing with it was to get out of bed at all hours of the night and fill the tub and sit there for 15-20 minutes. And maybe do it again later. Every night.

So..."I love you. You love me. I'm not a kid anymore and I have developed my own little habits and rituals. Please honor my need to enjoy my little quirks, in private, in my own hotel room, so that we can remain BFFs. I promise that when you get weird, I'll give you the space you need."

 

[Marquis Mark]

Excellent advice above. But, if for some reason you do stay at your friends, Poo-Pouri before, Ozium after and several quick flushes along the way, has pretty much solved the issue for me and I live in a one-bathroom loft. But the time in the bathroom thing is an issue, unless she can do most of her prep outside the bathroom.

I've never had the messy toilet bowls so I'm not sure what that refers to...

Anyway, good luck. I think your friend would understand the hotel thing. If not, teach her a lesson she'll never forget ;-)

 

[JackieOnLine]

visit your friend no matter what it takes: talking about poop, sharing a bathroom, getting a room. visit your friend!!

if you don't want to talk about details you could say: there are a bunch of WLS issues I don't want to talk about! but I need my own bathroom! or whatever.

but visit your friend!

 

[southernlady]

I've never had the messy toilet bowls so I'm not sure what that refers to...

WISH my husband knew how to CLEAN a messy toilet bowl. A lot of it is due to the angle he presents to the toilet while sitting. I sit upright, he sits leaning forward.

 

[bearmom]

Oy. We regularly share with travel buddies, and although years ago would deal with one bathroom for multiple ppl, we won't now.

It's not just you. There is always someone else with IBS, or gluten issues, or just a need for privacy. Add that to the fact that most of us shower in the AM, and need the bathroom and mirror for other things to get ready for the day.

Not only do I feel stressed having to shower, poop or whatever faster so the next person has a turn, but it's a pain when you have to wait, sometimes for several ppl before you can get a chance at the bathroom.

You can just say you want your own bathroom so you don't feel rushed to make it available to others, and take your long hot showers (or smelly poops) whenever. You don't owe anyone any details, but it's OK to just say "I just want my own bathroom".

We do still share spaces with friends when traveling now, but we all like each other more when there is at least one bathroom per couple, so it's usually a house or suite often through AirBnB.

Don't let this stress you out. Others will understand, and often be relieved as they have their own stuff that they didn't want to talk about either.

 

[k9ophile]

A few years before my BFF died, she came to the L.A. area to visit, but stayed in a local hotel. I was kind of miffed, but eventually got over it.

The last visit she made was to our home in a small town in the Las Vegas area. There was an event going on and no hotel rooms available nearby. If there had been, I'd have sent her to one! She was developing dementia by then and she had back pain, probably from the cancer she was refusing to have diagnosed. Her way of dealing with it was to get out of bed at all hours of the night and fill the tub and sit there for 15-20 minutes. And maybe do it again later. Every night.

So..."I love you. You love me. I'm not a kid anymore and I have developed my own little habits and rituals. Please honor my need to enjoy my little quirks, in private, in my own hotel room, so that we can remain BFFs. I promise that when you get weird, I'll give you the space you need."

I like the "I have developed my own little habits..." I am facing a district convention with ladies who like to share rooms to keep the cost of attending these functions at a reasonable rate. I love having my own room and not just because of my DS bathroom bombs. Thanks!

 

[Marquis Mark]

WISH my husband knew how to CLEAN a messy toilet bowl. A lot of it is due to the angle he presents to the toilet while sitting. I sit upright, he sits leaning forward.

Oh, I that meant something about excreting something so oily or sticky that you had to clean the bowl each time. I've never had a visible slick and, after I flush, my bowl still looks white. Is it normal to mess up the bowl?

 

[southernlady]

Oh, I that meant something about excreting something so oily or sticky that you had to clean the bowl each time. I've never had a visible slick and, after I flush, my bowl still looks white. Is it normal to mess up the bowl?

Oh yes, cleaned enough during my years of fast food working to know that.

 

[LindaDarnell]

I know this is an old post, but I have to reply. Hubby and I visited friends and we insisted on staying in a hotel room. We described our situation as Ibs and we would be uncomfortable staying in your home. Our friends were a little hurt, but understanding

 

[Settledownnow]

I know this is an old post, but I have to reply. Hubby and I visited friends and we insisted on staying in a hotel room. We described our situation as Ibs and we would be uncomfortable staying in your home. Our friends were a little hurt, but understanding

I put off the trip and will deal with it later in the spring/summer. I will just put on my big girl panties and share the bathroom.