Spiky Bugger
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 6,210
Break-up lines by medical specialty:
ID: Sorry, our relationship is showing no growth to date.
Pulm: I feel like we need to breathe. We’re too restrictive.
Cards: This relationship is one giant stress test, and we’re failing it.
Endo: All we are is negative feedback loops.
Peds: We don’t love each other anymore. BUT check out this awesome bandaid I’m gonna put on you, AND... you get a sticker!
Heme: We just keep inhibiting each other’s growth factors. We keep cascading, over and over.
Neuro: It’s too late to TPA this clot between us...
Ortho: ... bye, whatever.
ER: Bye... STAT.
Neurosurgery: Wait, I’m supposed to say something? I don’t owe you anything! I AM THE RELATIONSHIP.
GI: Look... we’re all plugged up, we aren’t moving. It’s just... I’m sorry to dump on you but... we gotta go lightly ...
Psych: The question is how do YOU feel about where we’re going?
Nephro: Look, according to these calculations...
Hospitalist: There’s nobody left for us to consult, and our length of stay has gone on way too long. I’m gonna have to discharge you. But you can appeal...
Rheum: I ran some tests... I tried some steroids... more tests. I’m just not sure what we mean anymore.
Plastic surgery: I don’t know how to tell you this, but my smile isn’t real right now. It hasn’t been real this entire time...
Rehab medicine: Just work with me here!
Optho: We should break up. Why am I not telling you in person? I don’t come in for this! I NEVER leave this clinic!
Anesthesia: Ok, count backwards from 10 and it’ll all be over.
Path: I thought you were a special stain, but you’re just gross.
CCM: We’ve been on life support too long and it’s time to recognize it isn’t working and switch our relationship goals.
ID: Sorry, our relationship is showing no growth to date.
Pulm: I feel like we need to breathe. We’re too restrictive.
Cards: This relationship is one giant stress test, and we’re failing it.
Endo: All we are is negative feedback loops.
Peds: We don’t love each other anymore. BUT check out this awesome bandaid I’m gonna put on you, AND... you get a sticker!
Heme: We just keep inhibiting each other’s growth factors. We keep cascading, over and over.
Neuro: It’s too late to TPA this clot between us...
Ortho: ... bye, whatever.
ER: Bye... STAT.
Neurosurgery: Wait, I’m supposed to say something? I don’t owe you anything! I AM THE RELATIONSHIP.
GI: Look... we’re all plugged up, we aren’t moving. It’s just... I’m sorry to dump on you but... we gotta go lightly ...
Psych: The question is how do YOU feel about where we’re going?
Nephro: Look, according to these calculations...
Hospitalist: There’s nobody left for us to consult, and our length of stay has gone on way too long. I’m gonna have to discharge you. But you can appeal...
Rheum: I ran some tests... I tried some steroids... more tests. I’m just not sure what we mean anymore.
Plastic surgery: I don’t know how to tell you this, but my smile isn’t real right now. It hasn’t been real this entire time...
Rehab medicine: Just work with me here!
Optho: We should break up. Why am I not telling you in person? I don’t come in for this! I NEVER leave this clinic!
Anesthesia: Ok, count backwards from 10 and it’ll all be over.
Path: I thought you were a special stain, but you’re just gross.
CCM: We’ve been on life support too long and it’s time to recognize it isn’t working and switch our relationship goals.
