Home.... plus pictures

[southernlady]

Many docs recommend chewing thyroid meds. My doc said it would absorb better. I've never been told to do it with any other pills, but have done so when something wasn't absorbing well enough, and it can make a difference. I've taken the powder out of my vitamin D capsules when desperate to get my levels up.

I will have to admit that chewing chalky ones is yucky. However, my pharmacy switches generic brands often enough that I never know if one is gonna be chalky or not til I start into that refill.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I am not being a smart-ass. Do you really think a generic pain med is any different than a generic?

Yup...many years ago, our daughter changed insurance and they changed her oral contraceptives. We actually, literally, almost called 911 because she was about to leave the house and get busted for Driving While Insane and Screaming and Crying. But we knew a psych hold would be placed on her and that would never go away. So we disabled her car and unplugged all our phones. (It was in the days of pagers, not cell phones.) She had gone COMPLETELY nuts. And we confiscated the pills and paid out of pocket for the former drug and she became her usual, sarcastic, snarly--but not hysterical--self. Per the pharmacist, it was likely a reaction to the buffer the new pill used, since the active ingredient was allegedly the same.

 

[CaraOC]

Yup...many years ago, our daughter changed insurance and they changed her oral contraceptives. We actually, literally, almost called 911 because she was about to leave the house and get busted for Driving While Insane and Screaming and Crying. But we knew a psych hold would be placed on her and that would never go away. So we disabled her car and unplugged all our phones. (It was in the days of pagers, not cell phones.) She had gone COMPLETELY nuts. And we confiscated the pills and paid out of pocket for the former drug and she became her usual, sarcastic, snarly--but not hysterical--self. Per the pharmacist, it was likely a reaction to the buffer the new pill used, since the active ingredient was allegedly the same.

I have a teenage daughter who is completely nuts presently but without medication. I need more advice on raising a teen than I do on living with a DS right now. How do we know as parents what is regular teen nuts and what is pathological teen nuts??? And dealing with health insurance seems a walk in the park compared to dealing with school districts and needed services. Motherhood is fecking difficult and
not for the faint of heart.

 

[Charris]

I have a teenage daughter who is completely nuts presently but without medication. I need more advice on raising a teen than I do on living with a DS right now. How do we know as parents what is regular teen nuts and what is pathological teen nuts??? And dealing with health insurance seems a walk in the park compared to dealing with school districts and needed services. Motherhood is fecking difficult and
not for the faint of heart.

It's really hard dealing with mental health and teens. My son has a mood disorder aka the polite way to diagnose bipolar, Adhd, anxiety, and depression. You try a med and have to wait a minimum of 6 weeks to see if it is affective. Then by goodness you find one that works and in a maximum of a few years they become immune to it so you start the freaking process of trying different meds waiting 6 weeks again. Good luck I'm so glad my son is now grown and decided to get his medical Marijuana card and his mental health is his responsibility to take care of....yeah right..lol sounded good when I typed it.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Exactly what C said. Our oldest son suffers from depression, anxiety, Chemo Brain which causes cloudy brain and ADHD concentration issues) PTSD and meds take for ever to take effect and can often cause very adverse symptoms. For instance, and I can't remember exactly which way, but if you give a Depressed person a BiPolar med (he was diagnose by one buy bipolar but by others not and he isn't in my opinion) it can cause suicidal ideation! The other part is that all these Psychiatrists do is throw medications at you and they don't even try to treat the patient any other way. You have to see a separate psychologist for therapy. What a load of fucking horseshit. Our mental health care system sucks and all they freaking have are facilities where they put people who try suicide or self harm, to "stabilize them" and adjust meds. As stated it takes weeks, months to take effect. That means they put them in a locked down facility for up to five days doing basically nothing but feeding them and having some group hug sessions., and then they send you packing. For people who are severely depressed and or battling other issues that have them at serious risk for suicide or self harm there is nothing else out there other than you should see a psychologist once a month for counseling. Yeah that is really going to help things. SMH! The places that they do have are what they call dual diagnosis where they supposedly treat mental issues like self harm, depression, bipolar etc AND a drug or alcohol addiction. We put Cameron in one of these places and they focused heavily on the latter when that wasn't really his real issues. They also aren't equipped to handle people with any other medical issues and they won't accept people who have tried to harm themselves in the last few months. What freaking sense does that make?????? Those people who are high risk of suicide are told they aren't welcome. Aren't those the FIRST people you should be treating? Isn't that like a hospital saying, we're sorry but we can't accept you because you have severely clogged arteries and you might have a heart attack or stroke out on us???????

The mental health care systems sucks and all they want to do is throw meds at patients and those meds often make the patient worse. Cameron has treatment resistant Depression and is currently on no meds and doing much better than when he was on all kinds of other crap that made you sleep all the time and caused other issues. I swear these psyche docs are as bad if not worse than a sleezy pain Dr (There are good pain management docs but some who are basically legal drug dealers) who pushes narcotics on to people. I hate to sound like a hippie but mary jane is a much safer and effective pain management as well as anxiety and PTSD drug than anything on the market but our government won't legalize it....instead they want to hook people on narcotics. I am told heroin is cheaper than Oxy on the street and hear it is causing a huge epidemic. BTW, Cameron is getting a spinal stimulator to control his unexplained back pain (has some degeneration but it started with his hodgkin lymphoma and never went away) so he can get off of any narcotic. He now takes a small does of extended release Nucynta twice a day and he says it really does nothing but you can't just go off that stuff cold turkey.

Anyway, sorry for the rant but the bottom line is it is really hard raising teens and young adults when our mental health care system is designed for failure and drug pushing. All I can suggest is trying to listen to her and be supportive. Offering solutions often makes things worse (that part sucks because I am a Dad and a problem solver so when that doesn't work I don't know what do) so it is a delicate balance of listening and watching to hopefully keep them from making horrible decisions that can have very serious ramifications.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I have a teenage daughter who is completely nuts presently but without medication. I need more advice on raising a teen than I do on living with a DS right now. How do we know as parents what is regular teen nuts and what is pathological teen nuts??? And dealing with health insurance seems a walk in the park compared to dealing with school districts and needed services. Motherhood is fecking difficult and
not for the faint of heart.

My advice, since you asked, is know which issues are battles and which are the war.

I knew a very controlling Dad (a high school drama teacher, no less) who didn't want his daughter wearing RED nail polish or BRIGHT lipstick and who freaked when his kid (6th grade?) made her bangs into that ridiculous standing-straight-up-sprayed-into-an-erection style that was so popular in the mid-to-late 1980s...just because she was copying MY kid (7th grade?) who was wearing hers that way.

Him: She is your child and I don't mean to change HER, but I will not allow my daughter to leave the house that way. You seem like very involved parents...but you don't have standards about how she should dress?

Me: I have goals. That's my war. By the time she graduates--and graduation is a given--from high school, I expect her to be literate, numerate, barely known by the Varsity Anything, completely unknown to the local police department, not a mom or pregnant or recently pregnant, not addicted to illegal substances or booze or tobacco. I have OTHER goals, but those are my biggies. We might BICKER over hairstyles or clothing, but those are just battles. I can forfeit a few of those to win my war.

Him: Well, give em an inch, you know...

Segue 30 yeas later...

Okay...so I have photos of my kid shaking hand with two different presidents. She works in law enforcement and has passed vigorous background checks for her employer and for the secret service. She works well with movie stars, cops, convicted murderers, gang members and priests. She hasn't had to detox or go to rehab, but doesn't condemn those who do. She often reminds us that we shouldn't judge people based solely on the worst thing they've ever done. She has a very giving heart and volunteers to help homeless kids with homework. She is a good person.

HIS DAUGHTER recently left (aged out) of her job as one of those a cocktail hostesses at a major Las Vegas Casino...the kind of job where they advertise online with suggestive photos of themslves, barely clad in anything...but NONE with her bangs in an erection, so her dad must be proud, right? She now works as a "consultant" (sales person) for a plastic surgeon.


Define the war...define the battles...and lose once in a while. But only lose battles. And don't share your strategy with them...as their job is to destroy it.

 

[CaraOC]

Exactly what C said. Our oldest son suffers from depression, anxiety, Chemo Brain which causes cloudy brain and ADHD concentration issues) PTSD and meds take for ever to take effect and can often cause very adverse symptoms. For instance, and I can't remember exactly which way, but if you give a Depressed person a BiPolar med (he was diagnose by one buy bipolar but by others not and he isn't in my opinion) it can cause suicidal ideation! The other part is that all these Psychiatrists do is throw medications at you and they don't even try to treat the patient any other way. You have to see a separate psychologist for therapy. What a load of fucking horseshit. Our mental health care system sucks and all they freaking have are facilities where they put people who try suicide or self harm, to "stabilize them" and adjust meds. As stated it takes weeks, months to take effect. That means they put them in a locked down facility for up to five days doing basically nothing but feeding them and having some group hug sessions., and then they send you packing. For people who are severely depressed and or battling other issues that have them at serious risk for suicide or self harm there is nothing else out there other than you should see a psychologist once a month for counseling. Yeah that is really going to help things. SMH! The places that they do have are what they call dual diagnosis where they supposedly treat mental issues like self harm, depression, bipolar etc AND a drug or alcohol addiction. We put Cameron in one of these places and they focused heavily on the latter when that wasn't really his real issues. They also aren't equipped to handle people with any other medical issues and they won't accept people who have tried to harm themselves in the last few months. What freaking sense does that make?????? Those people who are high risk of suicide are told they aren't welcome. Aren't those the FIRST people you should be treating? Isn't that like a hospital saying, we're sorry but we can't accept you because you have severely clogged arteries and you might have a heart attack or stroke out on us???????

The mental health care systems sucks and all they want to do is throw meds at patients and those meds often make the patient worse. Cameron has treatment resistant Depression and is currently on no meds and doing much better than when he was on all kinds of other crap that made you sleep all the time and caused other issues. I swear these psyche docs are as bad if not worse than a sleezy pain Dr (There are good pain management docs but some who are basically legal drug dealers) who pushes narcotics on to people. I hate to sound like a hippie but mary jane is a much safer and effective pain management as well as anxiety and PTSD drug than anything on the market but our government won't legalize it....instead they want to hook people on narcotics. I am told heroin is cheaper than Oxy on the street and hear it is causing a huge epidemic. BTW, Cameron is getting a spinal stimulator to control his unexplained back pain (has some degeneration but it started with his hodgkin lymphoma and never went away) so he can get off of any narcotic. He now takes a small does of extended release Nucynta twice a day and he says it really does nothing but you can't just go off that stuff cold turkey.

Anyway, sorry for the rant but the bottom line is it is really hard raising teens and young adults when our mental health care system is designed for failure and drug pushing. All I can suggest is trying to listen to her and be supportive. Offering solutions often makes things worse (that part sucks because I am a Dad and a problem solver so when that doesn't work I don't know what do) so it is a delicate balance of listening and watching to hopefully keep them from making horrible decisions that can have very serious ramifications.

Thanks Scott, it may seem like a rant to you but what you said I needed to hear!! I have one child, a daughter who will be 17 next month. She was a very early talker, an active happy bubbly child. When she started in the school system there was no end to the calls I would get asking me to come infor little chats. Back in the kindergarten days it started when they told me she wasn't "getting" it and needed special Ed. I was flabbergasted. Thought they were nuts. She was referred to extensive testing with psychology. They concluded she was not "backwards" and in need of special Ed, but actually tested gifted, but learning disabled. WTF? I spent a damn fortune after that having independent testing and services which came to the same conclusions. ADHD (inattentive not hyper), had anxiety and has suffered OCD. For years she has had an IEP, has taken medications and with special considerations was "keeping up" and seemed happy. Fast forward Junior year. She is apathetic swinging to hostile. Is mostly withdrawn and looks at me often like she wishes I was dead. To my knowledge she has no social interaction with her peer group. We live in southern Cali and I often think they are a special breed of teens here. I doubt I would have interacted much with them either. Very superficial and aesthetically oriented. Also she came out to me as gay a few years back. I really don't have an issue with this but think this is an added stressor to her social interactions. So now what do I do???? I have arranged a school multidisciplinary meeting and for her to speak to our amazingly awesome family practitioner privately. I need to find good counseling for her pronto. Teen depression is not to be fucked with. I have known of many and personally have had three friends who's teens have committed suicide. One hung himself for his mom to discover, one shot herself while alone in her room and the third shot himself in front of his mother. Devastating for families. I want adequate and successful intervention so she by way of medication and therapy can navigate these rough and hormone fueled years. I don't want to fail her when she needs strongest advocacy. I just wish I knew how best to accomplish this and not make shit worse!!!

 

[CaraOC]

My advice, since you asked, is know which issues are battles and which are the war.

I knew a very controlling Dad (a high school drama teacher, no less) who didn't want his daughter wearing RED nail polish or BRIGHT lipstick and who freaked when his kid (6th grade?) made her bangs into that ridiculous standing-straight-up-sprayed-into-an-erection style that was so popular in the mid-to-late 1980s...just because she was copying MY kid (7th grade?) who was wearing hers that way.

Him: She is your child and I don't mean to change HER, but I will not allow my daughter to leave the house that way. You seem like very involved parents...but you don't have standards about how she should dress?

Me: I have goals. That's my war. By the time she graduates--and graduation is a given--from high school, I expect her to be literate, numerate, barely known by the Varsity Anything, completely unknown to the local police department, not a mom or pregnant or recently pregnant, not addicted to illegal substances or booze or tobacco. I have OTHER goals, but those are my biggies. We might BICKER over hairstyles or clothing, but those are just battles. I can forfeit a few of those to win my war.

Him: Well, give em an inch, you know...

Segue 30 yeas later...

Okay...so I have photos of my kid shaking hand with two different presidents. She works in law enforcement and has passed vigorous background checks for her employer and for the secret service. She works well with movie stars, cops, convicted murderers, gang members and priests. She hasn't had to detox or go to rehab, but doesn't condemn those who do. She often reminds us that we shouldn't judge people based solely on the worst thing they've ever done. She has a very giving heart and volunteers to help homeless kids with homework. She is a good person.

HIS DAUGHTER recently left (aged out) of her job as one of those a cocktail hostesses at a major Las Vegas Casino...the kind of job where they advertise online with suggestive photos of themslves, barely clad in anything...but NONE with her bangs in an erection, so her dad must be proud, right? She now works as a "consultant" (sales person) for a plastic surgeon.


Define the war...define the battles...and lose once in a while. But only lose battles. And don't share your strategy with them...as their job is to destroy it.

Thanks Spiky. I agree totally. For her elementary and junior high years we lived in a very very Mormon area and since I'm not Mormon AND a single mom I was often criticized in parenting. I have many many times advised parents to save their energy and pick their battles carefully cause one day they were gonna need all the energy they can muster. One such battle I refused to have was in PreK. Her absolute idol was Ariel the little mermaid. She had an Ariel nightdress and Ariel boots. She wore them to school everyday for about two weeks. I was asked why I allowed it. Simple. She felt like she was on top of the world, invincible and life was perfect. Exactly how any mother would want their daughters to feel. So I should have a knock down drag out battle every morning and drag her to school in tears daily just so these people would approve of my parenting?? Fuck no. I marched up there with a skipping happy smiling idiot. In Junior High she wanted blue hair. Who cares. Blue it is. My only complaint was she dyed every towel I owned and the tub blue for months. Big deal. I've always tried to keep my mind open and do what is best for her. Not what is easiest for me, or makes me appear as a better mothers to people I don't give a shit about anyway. That was all easy when the only decision was Ariel nightdress or not. I'm just lost as to what to do now.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Thanks Scott, it may seem like a rant to you but what you said I needed to hear!! I have one child, a daughter who will be 17 next month. She was a very early talker, an active happy bubbly child. When she started in the school system there was no end to the calls I would get asking me to come infor little chats. Back in the kindergarten days it started when they told me she wasn't "getting" it and needed special Ed. I was flabbergasted. Thought they were nuts. She was referred to extensive testing with psychology. They concluded she was not "backwards" and in need of special Ed, but actually tested gifted, but learning disabled. WTF? I spent a damn fortune after that having independent testing and services which came to the same conclusions. ADHD (inattentive not hyper), had anxiety and has suffered OCD. For years she has had an IEP, has taken medications and with special considerations was "keeping up" and seemed happy. Fast forward Junior year. She is apathetic swinging to hostile. Is mostly withdrawn and looks at me often like she wishes I was dead. To my knowledge she has no social interaction with her peer group. We live in southern Cali and I often think they are a special breed of teens here. I doubt I would have interacted much with them either. Very superficial and aesthetically oriented. Also she came out to me as gay a few years back. I really don't have an issue with this but think this is an added stressor to her social interactions. So now what do I do???? I have arranged a school multidisciplinary meeting and for her to speak to our amazingly awesome family practitioner privately. I need to find good counseling for her pronto. Teen depression is not to be fucked with. I have known of many and personally have had three friends who's teens have committed suicide. One hung himself for his mom to discover, one shot herself while alone in her room and the third shot himself in front of his mother. Devastating for families. I want adequate and successful intervention so she by way of medication and therapy can navigate these rough and hormone fueled years. I don't want to fail her when she needs strongest advocacy. I just wish I knew how best to accomplish this and not make shit worse!!!

Cara it is hard, no doubt. Cameron too has always been very bright and did great in school. After chemo has become really frustrated because he has such a hard time concentrating. Adderall helps some but he crashes, not too mention he is already tachycardic and that stuff makes his heart feel like it is going to beat out of his chest....so he doesn't take it often. He has struggled with school the last several years because of all his health issues and this chemo brain shit. It has taken a toll on him mentally but he is working now and feeling better so he is getting better. By the way, last year he told us he was gay and then later said, Bisexual. Like you I don't care other than we know it can be hard on those groups they way some people treat them. That being said, I haven't seen him interacting with any guys in that way but he does express interest in ladies.

Anyway, Cameron has improved but it is struggle as it has been 1 step forward and 1 step back for the past few years. Right now it seems like one step forward and 1/4 step back so if that continues we are good. His little brother is concerning me now because he never had the bubbly personality like Cameron. Cameron has always been a social butterfly who needs/craves interaction and attention. You never wonder what he is thinking because he tells you. Collin who will be 20 in July has always been fun loving but much more private and quiet. He is also bright, not as intellectually as Cameron but he has always been better at adjusting/course correcting to get a great outcome. He was an all state track athlete, all conference football player and was playing college football (got tired of everything it took after a year) and was also an excellent basketball player. He did well at college for his first year and then told us he wasn't going to play football anymore because he wasn't going pro an it was a loud of work so he wanted to focus on studies. Then a couple months later he told us he didn't want to go back to Elmhurst College (Elmhurst is a fairly affluent suburb in Chicago and great little private school). His logic was he didn't know what he wanted to do and didn't really like school so why take on $20K of debt every year (he had a little over half of $45K college costs in scholarships). I said okay and his plan was to go to community college locally and figure it out. Well his summer job turned into a full time job through mid January, and then it was over. He hasn't enrolled in classes and hasn't been doing much but some odds and ends stuff here and there. He seems depressed but I can't get him to talk and he says he isn't depressed Like most 20 year olds he likes the activities that this age group partakes in. I have encouraged him to go to school to become a Rad Tech or something like that where you can make decent money for minimal investment in school. He hasn't done so and recently has been talking to a Navy Recruiter. I think the services would be good for him and have tried to push him to the air force but Navy would be okay too (no way on Army or Marines as I don't want him in combat and getting killed...sorry I want him to have a career and not be a fighting soldier). He asked us for his passport yesterday but won't tell us why. Naturally I told him like his SSN not to give that out too anybody unless it was the Navy asking for it for background check purposes. In any case he is spinning his wheels now and needs to get moving because I think his lifestyle is starting to case some depression or certainly not helping.

Back to your daughter. Cameron is very secluded now because his friends want to drink all the time and he knows he can't. He is also very liberal and many of his old friends here in this little town are very conservative and frankly some of them are racist rednecks. He can't stand that so he isolated. I understand the superficial kids you describe in SoCal that are your daughter's age. Frankly I think that is why Collin didn't like Elmhurst. He has some good friends from the team and his roommate (player as well) but private colleges can be very superficial as well. I know Cameron has a lot of online friends so I wouldn't be surprised if you daughter doesn't as well. It is different than when we were kids. Hopefully she does and she is talking with somebody. It is hard I know because I get those looks of death from Collin as well when asking any questions, so like I tell my wife...i am very selective in what I ask because I recognize we are only getting so many responses from him. It is tough balance of trying to be involved and trying to keep them from harm (it is what we do) and letting them handle things on their own and trusting them. I have no great advice and I try to guide as much as they can but have come to realization that they have to get it on their own now so I am pulling back a bit. Now I realize your daughter is still in high school so you can't pull back as much as I have to at this point.

Hang in there an keep loving her and being there for her. It is frustrating but it the only way I know how to deal with a child who doesn't want to interact a lot.

Good luck

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Cara it is hard, no doubt. Cameron too has always been very bright and did great in school. After chemo has become really frustrated because he has such a hard time concentrating. Adderall helps some but he crashes, not too mention he is already tachycardic and that stuff makes his heart feel like it is going to beat out of his chest....so he doesn't take it often. He has struggled with school the last several years because of all his health issues and this chemo brain shit. It has taken a toll on him mentally but he is working now and feeling better so he is getting better. By the way, last year he told us he was gay and then later said, Bisexual. Like you I don't care other than we know it can be hard on those groups they way some people treat them. That being said, I haven't seen him interacting with any guys in that way but he does express interest in ladies.

Anyway, Cameron has improved but it is struggle as it has been 1 step forward and 1 step back for the past few years. Right now it seems like one step forward and 1/4 step back so if that continues we are good. His little brother is concerning me now because he never had the bubbly personality like Cameron. Cameron has always been a social butterfly who needs/craves interaction and attention. You never wonder what he is thinking because he tells you. Collin who will be 20 in July has always been fun loving but much more private and quiet. He is also bright, not as intellectually as Cameron but he has always been better at adjusting/course correcting to get a great outcome. He was an all state track athlete, all conference football player and was playing college football (got tired of everything it took after a year) and was also an excellent basketball player. He did well at college for his first year and then told us he wasn't going to play football anymore because he wasn't going pro an it was a loud of work so he wanted to focus on studies. Then a couple months later he told us he didn't want to go back to Elmhurst College (Elmhurst is a fairly affluent suburb in Chicago and great little private school). His logic was he didn't know what he wanted to do and didn't really like school so why take on $20K of debt every year (he had a little over half of $45K college costs in scholarships). I said okay and his plan was to go to community college locally and figure it out. Well his summer job turned into a full time job through mid January, and then it was over. He hasn't enrolled in classes and hasn't been doing much but some odds and ends stuff here and there. He seems depressed but I can't get him to talk and he says he isn't depressed Like most 20 year olds he likes the activities that this age group partakes in. I have encouraged him to go to school to become a Rad Tech or something like that where you can make decent money for minimal investment in school. He hasn't done so and recently has been talking to a Navy Recruiter. I think the services would be good for him and have tried to push him to the air force but Navy would be okay too (no way on Army or Marines as I don't want him in combat and getting killed...sorry I want him to have a career and not be a fighting soldier). He asked us for his passport yesterday but won't tell us why. Naturally I told him like his SSN not to give that out too anybody unless it was the Navy asking for it for background check purposes. In any case he is spinning his wheels now and needs to get moving because I think his lifestyle is starting to case some depression or certainly not helping.

Back to your daughter. Cameron is very secluded now because his friends want to drink all the time and he knows he can't. He is also very liberal and many of his old friends here in this little town are very conservative and frankly some of them are racist rednecks. He can't stand that so he isolated. I understand the superficial kids you describe in SoCal that are your daughter's age. Frankly I think that is why Collin didn't like Elmhurst. He has some good friends from the team and his roommate (player as well) but private colleges can be very superficial as well. I know Cameron has a lot of online friends so I wouldn't be surprised if you daughter doesn't as well. It is different than when we were kids. Hopefully she does and she is talking with somebody. It is hard I know because I get those looks of death from Collin as well when asking any questions, so like I tell my wife...i am very selective in what I ask because I recognize we are only getting so many responses from him. It is tough balance of trying to be involved and trying to keep them from harm (it is what we do) and letting them handle things on their own and trusting them. I have no great advice and I try to guide as much as they can but have come to realization that they have to get it on their own now so I am pulling back a bit. Now I realize your daughter is still in high school so you can't pull back as much as I have to at this point.

Hang in there an keep loving her and being there for her. It is frustrating but it the only way I know how to deal with a child who doesn't want to interact a lot.

Good luck

Uhm...are you a vet?

 

[DSRIGGS]

Uhm...are you a vet?

No.... Just an unemployed bum.. The marines and army scare me with our propensity to be in conflicts all of the time now. These "peace keeping missions" in places where we aren't wanted puts soldiers are in harms way.

I have two very good friends who both enlisted. One in the navy and he went to nuclear power school and then on to get a civil engineering BS and Masters. My friend in the Air Force was not the sharpest stick in the pile coming out of highschool but he did 20 years and retired. He now works as a civilian as a supply chain manager at Lackland. Neither were ever in harms way and both got excellent training and life skills.

I also worked with several Navy and Air Force guys who got great network (routers, switches, etc) experience while serving.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

No.... Just an unemployed bum.. The marines and army scare me with our propensity to be in conflicts all of the time now. These "peace keeping missions" in places where we aren't wanted puts soldiers are in harms way.

I have two very good friends who both enlisted. One in the navy and he went to nuclear power school and then on to get a civil engineering BS and Masters. My friend in the Air Force was not the sharpest stick in the pile coming out of highschool but he did 20 years and retired. He now works as a civilian as a supply chain manager at Lackland. Neither were ever in harms way and both got excellent training and life skills.

I also worked with several Navy and Air Force guys who got great network (routers, switches, etc) experience while serving.

Well, two things:

#1--I'm not sure Basic Training/Boot Camp is the ideal pkace to "cure" depression. For many, that problem worsens with stress. Otoh, if he's just bored, it might help.

#2--IMHO, it ain't the branch, it's the MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) and the enlistment guarantee that count. For example--and this is from my era but the sneaky stuff serves recruitment well--I knew a couple that enlisted. He was guaranteed the 101st Airborne Division, which was then headquartered at Fort Campbell, Ky. SHE was recruited as a clerk, "also" assigned to Ft. Campbell, Ky. See the hitch? The 101st COULD BE moved to anyplace on the planet. She would remain at Ft. Campbell. Army would be honoring its guarantees.

I was in school with a couple of unhappy women who had just spent a year or so of their lives becoming fluent in Romanian. The Army had fulfilled its obligation. One was assigned somewhere as a truck driver the other to a mess hall. THEIR obligations were to serve out three more years doing whatever the hell the Army wanted, after their promised training was complete. Why would the military spend money to teach them languages and then give them some suck job? Because the military always trains for FUTURE needs, and didn't need any more Romanian linguists at the moment.

Anyway...every branch has combat MOSs. And, re the navy...the marines medics are navy corpsmen. I think the chaplains and doctors are also members of the navy, but serve with marines.

If you want him out of the gulf or Asia, he needs to become a glacier specialist...or something specific to an area away from known combat hotpots.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Thanks Scott, it may seem like a rant to you but what you said I needed to hear!! I have one child, a daughter who will be 17 next month. She was a very early talker, an active happy bubbly child. When she started in the school system there was no end to the calls I would get asking me to come infor little chats. Back in the kindergarten days it started when they told me she wasn't "getting" it and needed special Ed. I was flabbergasted. Thought they were nuts. She was referred to extensive testing with psychology. They concluded she was not "backwards" and in need of special Ed, but actually tested gifted, but learning disabled. WTF? I spent a damn fortune after that having independent testing and services which came to the same conclusions. ADHD (inattentive not hyper), had anxiety and has suffered OCD. For years she has had an IEP, has taken medications and with special considerations was "keeping up" and seemed happy. Fast forward Junior year. She is apathetic swinging to hostile. Is mostly withdrawn and looks at me often like she wishes I was dead. To my knowledge she has no social interaction with her peer group. We live in southern Cali and I often think they are a special breed of teens here. I doubt I would have interacted much with them either. Very superficial and aesthetically oriented. Also she came out to me as gay a few years back. I really don't have an issue with this but think this is an added stressor to her social interactions. So now what do I do???? I have arranged a school multidisciplinary meeting and for her to speak to our amazingly awesome family practitioner privately. I need to find good counseling for her pronto. Teen depression is not to be fucked with. I have known of many and personally have had three friends who's teens have committed suicide. One hung himself for his mom to discover, one shot herself while alone in her room and the third shot himself in front of his mother. Devastating for families. I want adequate and successful intervention so she by way of medication and therapy can navigate these rough and hormone fueled years. I don't want to fail her when she needs strongest advocacy. I just wish I knew how best to accomplish this and not make shit worse!!!

Oh, my...you have your hands full. But you are on top of things and will prevail. Does she know how very much you love her? Sometimes, we get so busy trying to keep it all together that we forget to mention what we think is obvious and it might not be.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Yeah I understand what you are saying. He was scrawny bright and seems to only be considering the Navy so I am trying to push him towards nuke school. My friend had the option of a carrier or sub. Collin is 6'3 so I don't know if that keeps him from subs but I also know that nuke school is hard and you have to test in. He also has year of college so I am trying to get him to investigate options for officer programs. He was considering ROTC before taking the football scholarship so I know that is an option but that doesn't help him with not knowing what degree field.

I don't even know how serious he is about military but I keep telling him that if he isn't going to college he has to get some career training and that the military gives you good opportunities.... But you have to make sure you get into a specialty that prepares you for something if you don't stay in.

I am just trying to get him moving. He isn't doing much of anything right now and has to many opportunities to get into trouble with alcohol and or weed as he has too many friends around here who like to drink and smoke too much.... Too much time on your hands and that combination are dangerous.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Oh, my...you have your hands full. But you are on top of things and will prevail. Does she know how very much you love her? Sometimes, we get so busy trying to keep it all together that we forget to mention what we think is obvious and it might not be.

That is so true. I tell the boys that often but I am so busy being daf kicking asses and suggesting options for career paths and such that I often forget to compliment them. When they Fuck up it is easy for me to point out but finding the positives and opportunities for praising them isn't as easy as it was when they were in school... So thanks for helping me to remember.

This parenting shit is hard especially when I feel like garbage tomorrow often as I might be a tad grumpy and bear like at times..... Or so I hear.