Feeling Blah before surgery

[JKap19]

So I suffer from major depression. Have most of my life and usually can tell when I'm going down hill. I'm not having any of my normal symptoms I get when things are going downhill.
I'm feeling kind of blah and I'm wondering if it has to do with my upcoming DS surgery. I'm nervous about it and about how my life is going to change. I've read as much as possible on the procedure and scoured this site for information to learn what to expect afterwards. I almost feel like I'm in mourning right now which seems silly to me logically but it's kinda what it feels like.

Did anyone go through this before surgery?

 

[LynneV]

Fear, anxiety, stress? heck yeah.
Afterwards I even had a little buyers remorse but quickly got over that by getting thinner and feeling better every day.

 

[galaxygrrl]

I actually morned a little for my life before surgery. And I really did not want the surgery, but I felt like I had no choice or I would die.

NEW LIFE IS BETTER. breathe. It will be OK and actually, it will be great

 

[Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine]

I agree with @galaxygrrl on the mourning part. I had medical issues that caused me to gain weight, and prevented me fom being able to lose weight. At some point, I had self righteous little tantrums because I had to alter my life to fix something that wasn't my fault (Even though I know damn well I contributed to the problem!). I knew this was the best thing for me to do, but I was terrified of the post DS lifestyle, and if I'd be able to cut it. Everything intimidated me.
At the end of the day, though, it's always been my personal goal to never make a decision based on fear or selfishness; and if I didn't have the surgery, it would be solely because of fear. In many ways, I hate change, and this was the biggest change imaginable for me. But so far, it's been worth it. Every single member of this site promised that it would be worth it; and for the first time in my life, I trusted people I didn't know to guide me along the way. I'm glad I did, and I'm sure you will be, too.

 

[Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine]

Also, I wanted to point out that everyone says, "It'll be okay", and it totally will be. But first, it's going to suck a little. Be prepared for a month of suckiness. Then, it'll be GREAT!

 

[Settledownnow]

Also, I wanted to point out that everyone says, "It'll be okay", and it totally will be. But first, it's going to suck a little. Be prepared for a month of suckiness. Then, it'll be GREAT!

 

[Psychomom]

Ray is totally on point. It does suck at first. But then, one day, it quits sucking and gets better. Much, much better. Think of it as having a baby. You have months to plan and prepare for this. Then you go through lots of pain. Then the pain is gone and you have something so wonderful that you cannot imagine not having it anymore. That doesn't mean there won't be good and bad times, it just means that your new way of life will be worth all of this.

 

[Caitlunn]

@JKap19 are you on your pre surgery diet yet? Nig changes in eating habits, as well as weight loss, can cause emotional ups and downs. I definitely felt the exact same way before surgery. The whole process messes with your head.

For me, it was the whole admitting I needed help thing. I spent years trying to lose weight on my own, thinking that I didn't need surgery, because that would mean that I wasn't strong enough to do it the right way. And then when I decided to go through with the surgery, it messed with my head to admit that there were things I didn't like about my body. That I wasn't perfect and I wasn't always confident in how I looked. In a way, it felt good to admit that to myself, but it opened up all those insecurities and body issues that I had locked away.

In the weeks before my surgery, my boyfriend would ask me to go out and do things, and I kept saying no. I had no energy, and was dealing with all those issues. I didn't feel like I would be any fun for anybody to be around. I felt like all I could do was research about the DS day after day, to prepare myself for what was to come. So that's what I did. I'm sure that you, just like many of us, have spent SO MANY YEARS being strong in a world that saw you as a lesser person. It's okay to mourn that old life, but just know that your new one is going to be so much better!

 

[JKap19]

Thank you everyone for your candidness. It's so much change and my way of life will be so different that I think I'm just overwhelmed and I'm a do'er so waiting is not good for me. When I've made my mind up, I'm ready to do it and that is not what's happened with this process, it's a lot of waiting which gives me time to think. I have so much running through my head, what if I did this, what if I did that, did I really try hard enough, should I have tried this? I keep thinking if I would just try harder maybe it would work this time. Then I remember I have tried over the years and I need some kind of permanent solution to get healthier and that's how I ended up at the conclusion of needing a DS. This really messes with your head though.

I read on this site every single day to see if I can find something I have missed. I really appreciate this site. I joined a facebook group for the DS and lets just say they are nothing like this group.

@Caitlunn
I don't start my preop diet until Aug 8. Then I'm on that for 2 weeks and then surgery on the 22nd. I know it's going to suck but it's a necessary thing to get the surgery. I have had my gallbladder out several years ago so I feel like I have a little knowledge of what it's going to feel like.