Well, I finally motivated myself to go on yet another diet. Diets bring up so much misery in my head and my heart it takes me ages to FORCE myself to do it. I hate loathe and despise diets. It does make me feel better to say it too. My first diet started when I was six weeks old and I am now 63. Psychological warfare has begun. I am spending at least 1/2 hour a day saying food is not your friend and imagining every food I love covered by maggots or poop. Does this work? Hell if I know but years ago when I was researching anorexia I ran across it. I will multitask and say I hate food while I am actually DOING something else. Enhancing my malabsorbtion by eating SF gummy bears. If you don't know all about them, go to Amazon and read the reviews. Don't drink anything while you are reading. You will spew your drink all over your screen. I started last night with 10 of them and of course they did have the desired effect. And I have a 5lb bag. That's a humongous supply. Haven't quite figured out the best time to take them but with a little trial and error I will. It's too damn hot to exercise here till probably October so I went and got a used treadmill on craigslist. Tomorrow I will get it set up in my bedroom. And I will continue to wrangle palm trees in my spare time. Just the blood loss should help me lose. But at 110 degrees I just can't make myself work outside for more than a couple hours. I am a wimp. But I think I can make myself do 10 miles a day on that treadmill. Why now? I am 63 and I have a huge hernia I can't afford to fix. When I turn 65 I will have Medicare so I can get the hernia repaired. At the same time I want to get a panniculectomy. Also plan to try to get them to repair my abdominal muscles. Because I can't afford abdominoplasty. I figure I will get the best possible results if I am skinny enough to hide behind a telephone pole when I get it done. I am over the top tired of looking pregnant. I hate stuffing my flubber into shapewear too. I want the flubber gone. Just ONCE in my whole life, I would like to have a flat stomach. Just once! I would like to buy 1 top that actually fits without having to go up 2 sizes because of the ugly flubber gut. Will I ever be able to stuff myself into size 00 True Religions? Probably not but I have one last try in me! Today is day 5 of under 20 carbs per day. So the worst is over. The carb flu is done and things should start looking up soon. My fingers are crossed, toes too!