DONT Laugh at me...

[Charris]

But I have been watching my 600 pound life. I know most of us hate that show. Doing so has made me realize I have a recent obsession with food. From the time I had my gastric bypass in 2000 until I became malnourished the first time after my DS I was never obsessed with food. After my bypass in 2000 food didn't bother me. I would eat and the second I felt full I threw the food away or my family would fight over it. NOW I tie my food up and hide it so no one will eat it. I threaten to kill them and everyone else around if they touch my food. It didn't bother me not to finish it and to only eat when I was supposed to before. In post surgical report DR. K described my pouch 13 years later as being minuscule less than 2 ounces I think I only ate slider carb food during that time and no protein thus gaining quite a bit of weight back like 60 pounds out of 250 loss. Well lets fast forward I noticed after I became malnourished the first time and almost died. I couldn't get enough to eat. Even if IM full I eat all the time. IF I'm getting sick I still eat. I noticed some of it has to do with boredom and the rest I think is because after becoming malnourished 3 times I'm scared of going there again. I would rather be fat and on insulin than dying with sores all over in excruciating pain begging for death. I cannot get my mind right. The first time I was able to get over it and get back on track quicker probably because it was just the first time it ever happened. Now that I have been in that situation 3 times it has been hard as hell for me to get over and get it together. I need help. I'm not trying to be funny at all. I think I need to see a therapist and explore this. I'm in the gym 5 days a week 2-3 hours a day but am not loosing even though I'm off the steroids now. SO I started tracking my calorie intake and on a busy day I'm consuming about 2200 calories and when I'm bored I have even consumed up to 4000 in one day. So I'm putting away some groceries and anything else that cant run faster than me! While I'm watching my 600 pound life I'm usually sitting at my desk shoving food in my face.

I thought I would ask you guys what do you think I can do to deal with this issue. For some reason I believe you guys will give it to me straight.. HAHAHA

 

[chevtow]

You lose weight in the kitchen not in the gym. Plus I see lots of people in the gym for long periods of time that just aren't getting after it.

What are you eating to get to those calories? Is it meat? Or is it shitty carbs? I eat a metric shit ton of calories but it's mostly meat (low carb).

 

[Settledownnow]

I do not think you need a therapist. You just need to go back to the basics. To help alleviate the fear of protein malnutrition drink 1-2 protein shakes. Each high protein and low carb foods. You already know you are eating when bored and zoning in front of the tv while eating -- so do not do it. Plan your food/meals in advance, sit at the kitchen table to eat, drink additional protein shakes to keep your protein up, and find new hobbies and interests to avoid eating to fill the time.

 

[k9ophile]

I'm of the school that therapy never hurts. (Assuming you have a reputable therapist.) People who went through the Great Depression became hoarders, or at least some of them did. You said you were afraid of becoming malnourished. That's a head problem.

Yes, you know what to do. Yes, you've been there and done that. You're demonstrating incredible self-awareness. I honestly believe that you need the support of a therapist. Maybe one that deals with eating disorders may help. Yet I'm thinking generalized anxiety so maybe some medication might help.

(I've been going through some nausea, abdominal pain, anorexia, etc. I had an EGD and no pathology was found. Then I realized these complaints started shortly after I decreased my Prozac dose. I went back up to just a tad and my GI complaints are lessening.)

Give Toot lots of hugs. That sounds like a healing strategy as well as therapy and medication.

 

[KathrynK]

You said it in your post, "I need help." Finding the right therapist is sometimes hard, but a referral from a professional or friend who knows you could lead you to a good one. It might give some insight for you to look at what benefit comes from watching the 600-pound show. It was interesting this was the first line of your post about fear of malnutrition. Are you reassuring yourself that surgery was the right decision by seeing how hard their lives are? Are you thinking about what it would be like to go back in that direction by having a surgical reversal? Do you miss not having restrictions on how much and what you can eat? I don't know what your answers about the show would be, but some of those thoughts have come up when I have occasionally watched it. It is a reminder of my 300-pound life. I haven't had bouts of malnutrition, so I can only guess about how hard your road has been. But since food is essentially the treatment for malnutrition, it is not unreasonable to be protective of your supply, in my view. Could it be that you are grappling between fear of malnutrition and fear of gaining weight? That's a hard place to be.

 

[Psychomom]

If you can't afford a therapist, why not see if there are Overeaters Anonymous or Food Addicts Anonymous meetings in your area? They are free of charge and you can get a sponsor that can help you get on a healthier path.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Last time we talked, you were on a shitload of pain meds, plus the steroids. Are you off everything now? Part of your panic could be related to medications...part of it could just be PTSD type stuff from your accident.

Getting your "mind right"... What about other "executive function" type activities? Like, how well are you organizing things, like tasks you have to perform? Are you easily distracted/easily frustrated by stuff that used to be routine? When you organize an activity, do you cover all the bases...or leave out important stuff?

Then DS math. Don't fixate on the 4000 calories.

So, one strip of bacon is 42 calories and 68% of those are fat...okay?

So, if you ate 100 strips of bacon:
You'd have consumed 4200 calories.
68% of those calories are from fat, so 1344 actually count.
Of the 68% (2856 calories), 80% gets malabsorbed...so,
20%, 571 calories, get absorbed plus tbe 1344... Still under 2000 calories.


I think.

 

[DianaCox]

Well no - you didn't math it right. Let me help you with that:

"3 hickory smoked bacon strips, pan-fried (26 g) have 120 calories, 9 grams fat, 3.8 grams saturated fat, 30 mg cholesterol, 7.5 grams protein, and 435 mg sodium."

Let's do this math instead, just because it's easier.

• 3 strips of bacon have 120 calories, so 40 cal/strip (close enough to 42).
  • 68% is fat, so 27 calories of the 40
  • Thus, one strip of bacon has 27 calories of fat, or 3 g of fat (fat has 9 calories/g).
  • (Note that exactly matches the 9 g of fat for 3 strips listed above)
• 100 strips of bacon would have 300 g 2700 calories of fat (300 g)
  • But only ~20% of those fat calories are absorbed by DSers, so 540 calories of fat (= 60 g) absorbed
• 1 strip of bacon has 2.5 g of protein
  • Protein has 4 calories/g
  • 1 strip of bacon would have 10 calories of protein
• 100 strips of bacon would have 2.5 g of protein x 100 = 250 g protein
  • But only ~50% absorbed by DSers = 125 g absorbed
  • 125 g x 4 calories/g = 1000 calories of protein absorbed
• Total calories absorbed from 100 strips of bacon by a DSer = 1540 calories

Note that way DSers absorb way more calories of protein than fat from bacon - almost twice as much.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Well no - you didn't math it right. Let me help you with that:

"3 hickory smoked bacon strips, pan-fried (26 g) have 120 calories, 9 grams fat, 3.8 grams saturated fat, 30 mg cholesterol, 7.5 grams protein, and 435 mg sodium."

Let's do this math instead, just because it's easier.

• 3 strips of bacon have 120 calories, so 40 cal/strip (close enough to 42).
  • 68% is fat, so 27 calories of the 40
  • Thus, one strip of bacon has 27 calories of fat, or 3 g of fat (fat has 9 calories/g).
  • (Note that exactly matches the 9 g of fat for 3 strips listed above)
• 100 strips of bacon would have 300 g 2700 calories of fat (300 g)
  • But only ~20% of those fat calories are absorbed by DSers, so 540 calories of fat (= 60 g) absorbed
• 1 strip of bacon has 2.5 g of protein
  • Protein has 4 calories/g
  • 1 strip of bacon would have 10 calories of protein
• 100 strips of bacon would have 2.5 g of protein x 100 = 250 g protein
  • But only ~50% absorbed by DSers = 125 g absorbed
  • 125 g x 4 calories/g = 1000 calories of protein absorbed
• Total calories absorbed from 100 strips of bacon by a DSer = 1540 calories

Note that way DSers absorb way more calories of protein than fat from bacon - almost twice as much.

So, 200 calories here, 200 there...no biggie.

Besides...I'm sick.

But STILL @Charris could eat 4000 calories and absorb less than 2000. So she needs to get less crazy. LOL

 

[DianaCox]

But you accidentally got to almost the right result for the WRONG REASON! That makes us OCD types twitch (actually, CDO - in alphabetical order, as it should be).

You said: "68% of those calories are from fat, so 1344 actually count." This is where you went off the rails. 1344 cal are from FAT. Not "count."

Then you said "Of the 68% (2856 calories), 80% gets malabsorbed...so,
20%, 571 calories, get absorbed" OK - that's the fat calories that a DSer can absorb from 100 pieces of bacon (my calculation, based on a slightly lower amount of calories per strip, was 540).

" ... plus tbe 1344" NO!! You just added the total fat calories in the bacon to the absorbed fat calories - you calculated what 120% of the fat calories were in 100 pieces of bacon.

The other 1000 calories in the bacon, for a DSer, comes from 50% of the protein. Not from an additional 100% of the fat.

But - coincidentally, the numbers aren't far off.

 

[hilary1617]

C -

Love yourself and listen to your gut. If you sense your current behavior around food is harmful, change it. If you try to change it, but keep reverting back to a pattern that isn't positive and sense that counseling would be helpful, go for it.

I've put on a few pounds lately myself, mainly because I'm stressed and eating what is easy / available versus focusing properly on content. My first step is going to be to make time to take a step back and figure out how to deal with the stress better, because I think that will help diet fall in place. Are you under stress too? Is that contributing?

In any case, take care of you. You're amazing and we want you to be around and happy for many years to come!

 

[writegirl]

I have no answers on the food compulsion for you other than to say you are in the right place here for support as you go through it. What you're describing reminds me more of OCD (which is often closely related in food compulsion disorders). The reason I mention this is that @Spiky Bugger mentioned you were on a lot of medications. Depending on what meds you've been on, you could be suffering from a drug-related onset of OCD, as some medications are implicated in the emergences of OCD in some patients. The reason I know this is that my ex-husband had become severely OCD due to an addition to opiates and anti-depressants. Things got worse as his addictions became unmanageable; hence, ex-husband. Don't be afraid to broach the subject with your PCP, if you can. Good luck to you!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Well no - you didn't math it right. Let me help you with that:

"3 hickory smoked bacon strips, pan-fried (26 g) have 120 calories, 9 grams fat, 3.8 grams saturated fat, 30 mg cholesterol, 7.5 grams protein, and 435 mg sodium."

Let's do this math instead, just because it's easier.

• 3 strips of bacon have 120 calories, so 40 cal/strip (close enough to 42).
  • 68% is fat, so 27 calories of the 40
  • Thus, one strip of bacon has 27 calories of fat, or 3 g of fat (fat has 9 calories/g).
  • (Note that exactly matches the 9 g of fat for 3 strips listed above)
• 100 strips of bacon would have 300 g 2700 calories of fat (300 g)
  • But only ~20% of those fat calories are absorbed by DSers, so 540 calories of fat (= 60 g) absorbed
• 1 strip of bacon has 2.5 g of protein
  • Protein has 4 calories/g
  • 1 strip of bacon would have 10 calories of protein
• 100 strips of bacon would have 2.5 g of protein x 100 = 250 g protein
  • But only ~50% absorbed by DSers = 125 g absorbed
  • 125 g x 4 calories/g = 1000 calories of protein absorbed
• Total calories absorbed from 100 strips of bacon by a DSer = 1540 calories

Note that way DSers absorb way more calories of protein than fat from bacon - almost twice as much.

I have SIBO. And maybe IBS-D. Do you have any idea how many potty breaks I took during that post?

I will shamefully accept the crown of "Innumerate of the Week."

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I have no answers on the food compulsion for you other than to say you are in the right place here for support as you go through it. What you're describing reminds me more of OCD (which is often closely related in food compulsion disorders). The reason I mention this is that @Spiky Bugger mentioned you were on a lot of medications. Depending on what meds you've been on, you could be suffering from a drug-related onset of OCD, as some medications are implicated in the emergences of OCD in some patients. The reason I know this is that my ex-husband had become severely OCD due to an addition to opiates and anti-depressants. Things got worse as his addictions became unmanageable; hence, ex-husband. Don't be afraid to broach the subject with your PCP, if you can. Good luck to you!

Charris rolled her car, six times I think, in the middle of the desert, and broke almost everything breakable, from neck to foot, on one side of her body. She was SOOOO on drugs.

 

[writegirl]

Charris rolled her car, six times I think, in the middle of the desert, and broke almost everything breakable, from neck to foot, on one side of her body. She was SOOOO on drugs.

Holy shit! That would give anyone OCD. Scary!